said:\'WecannotgotothatSheshaheliplacewithoutahundredrifles。Wehaveherefive。\'TheHajjisaid:\'Ihaveuntiedasknotinmyhead-handkerchiefwhichwillbemoretousthanathousand。\'Isawthathehadsolooseditthatitlayflagwiseonhisshoulder。ThenIknewthathewasaGreatOnewithvirtueinhim。
\"WecametothehighlandsoftheSheshahelionthedawnofthesecondday——aboutthetimeofthestirringofthecoldwind。TheHajjiwalkeddelicatelyacrosstheopenplacewheretheirfilthis，andscratcheduponthegatewhichwasshut。WhenitopenedI
sawtheman-eaterslyingontheircotsundertheeavesofthehuts。Theyrolledoff:theyroseup，onebehindtheotherthelengthofthestreet，andthefearontheirfaceswasasleaveswhiteningtoabreeze。TheHajjistoodinthegateguardinghisskirtsfromdefilement。TheHajjisaid:\'Iamhereonceagain。
Givemesixandyokeup。\'Theyzealouslythenpushedtouswithpolessix，andyokedthemwithaheavytree。TheHajjithensaid:
\"Fetchfirefromthemorninghearth，andcometowindward。\'Thewindisstrongonthoseheadlandsatsunrise，sowheneachhademptiedhiscrockoffireinfrontofthatwhichwasbeforehim，thebroadsideofthetownroaredintoflame，andallwent。TheHajjithensaid:\'Attheendofatimetherewillcomeherethewhitemanyeoncechasedforsport。Hewilldemandlabourtoplantsuchandsuchstuff。Yearethatlabour，andyourspawnafteryou。\'Theysaid，liftingtheirheadsaverylittlefromtheedgeoftheashes:\'Wearethatlabour，andourspawnafterus。\'
TheHajjisaid:\'Whatisalsomyname？\'Theysaid:\'ThynameisalsoTheMerciful\'TheHajjisaid:\'Praisethenmymercy\'；andwhiletheydidthis，theHajjiwalkedaway，Ifollowing。\"
TheInfantmadesomenoiseinhisthroat，andreachedformoreBurgundy。
\"Aboutnoononeofoursixfelldead。FrightonlyfrightsSahib!
Nonehad——nonecould——touchhim。Sincetheywereinpairs，andtheotheroftheForkwasmadandsangfoolishly，wewaitedforsomeheathentodowhatwasneedful。TherecameatlastAngarimenwithgoats。TheHajjisaid:\'Whatdoyesee？Theysaid:\'Oh，ourLord，weneitherseenorhear。\'TheHajjisaid:\'ButI
commandyetoseeandtohearandtosay。\'Theysaid:\'Oh，ourLord，itistoourcommandedeyesasthoughslavesstoodinaFork。\'TheHajjisaid:\'SotestifybeforetheofficerwhowaitsyouinthetownofDupe。\'Theysaid:\'Whatshallcometousafter？\'TheHajjisaid:\'Thejustrewardfortheinformer。Butifyedonottestify，thenapunishmentwhichshallcausebirds，tofallfromthetreesinterrorandmonkeystoscreamforpity。\'
Hearingthis，theAngarimenhastenedtoDupe。TheHajjithensaidtome:\'Arethosethingssufficienttoestablishourcase，ormustIdriveinavillagefull？\'Isaidthatthreewitnessesamplyestablishedanycase，butasyet，Isaid，theHajjihadnotofferedhisslavesforsale。Itistrue，asourSahibsaidjustnow，thereisonefineforcatchingslaves，andyetanotherformakingtosellthem。Anditwasthedoublefinethatweneeded，Sahib，forourSahib\'scotton-play。Wehadfore-arrangedallthiswithBulakiRam，whoknowstheEnglishLaw，and，IthoughttheHajjiremembered，buthegrewangry，andcriedout:\'OGod，RefugeoftheAfflicted，mustI，whoamwhatIam，peddlethis\'
dog\'smeatbytheroadsidetogainhisdelightformyheart\'sdelight？\"Nonetheless，headmitteditwastheEnglishLaw，andsoheofferedmethesix——five——inasmallvoice，withanavertedhead。TheSheshahelidonotsmellofsourmilkasheathenshould。
Theysmelllikeleopards，Sahib。Thisisbecausetheyeatmen。\"
\"Maybe，\"saidStrickland。\"Butwherewerethywits？Onewitnessisnotsufficienttoestablishthefactofasale。\"
\"Whatcouldwedo，Sahib？TherewastheHajji\'sreputationtoconsider。Wecouldnothavecalledinaheathenwitnessforsuchathing。And，moreover，theSahibforgetsthatthedefendanthimselfwasmakingthiscase。Hewouldnotcontesthisownevidence。Otherwise，Iknowthelawofevidencewellenough。
\"SothenwewenttoDupe，andwhileBulakiRamwaitedamongtheAngarimen，\'IrantoseeourSahibinbed。Hiseyeswereverybright，andhismouthwasfullofupside-downorders，buttheoldwomanhadnotloosenedherhairfordeath。TheHajjisaid:\'Bequickwithmytrial。IamnotJob!\'TheHajjiwasalearnedman。
Wemadethetrialswiftlytoasoundofsoothingvoicesroundthebed。Yet——yet，becausenomancanbesurewhetheraSahibofthatbloodsees，ordoesnotsee，wemadeitstrictlyinthemanneroftheformsoftheEnglishLaw。Onlythewitnessesandtheslavesandtheprisonerwekeptwithoutforhisnose\'ssake。\"
\"Thenhedidnotseetheprisoner？\"saidStrickland。
\"IstoodbytoshackleupanAngariincaseheshoulddemandit，butbyGod\'sfavourhewastoofarfeveredtoaskforone。Itisquitetruehesignedthepapers。Itisquitetruehesawthemoneyputawayinthesafe——twohundredandtenEnglishpoundsanditisquitetruethatthegoldwroughtonhimasastrongcure。Butastohisseeingtheprisoner，andhavingspeechwiththeman-eaters——theHajjibreathedallthatonhisforeheadtosinkintohissickbrain。Alittle，asyehaveheard，hasremained……Ah，butwhenthefeverbroke，andourSahibcalledforthefine-book，andthethinlittlepicture-booksfromEuropewiththepicturesofploughsandhoes，andcotton=3Dmills——ah，thenhelaughedasheusedtolaugh，Sahib。
Itwashisheart\'sdesire，thiscotton-play。TheHajjilovedhim，aswhodoesnot？Itwasalittle，littlearrangement，Sahib，ofwhich——isitnecessarytotellalltheworld？\"
\"AndwhendidstthouknowwhotheHajjiwas？\"saidStrickland。
\"NotforacertaintytillheandourSahibhadreturnedfromtheirvisittotheSheshahelicountry。ItisquitetrueasourSahibsays，theman-eaterslay，flataroundhisfeet，andaskedforspadestocultivatecotton。Thatverynight，whenIwascookingthedinner，theHajjisaidtome:\'Igotomyownplace，thoughGodknowswhethertheManwiththeStoneEyeshaveleftmeanox，aslave，orawoman。\'Isaid:\'ThouartthenThatOne？\'
TheHajjisaid:\'Iamtenthousandrupeesrewardintothyhand。
Shallwemakeanotherlaw-caseandgetmorecottonmachinesfortheboy？\'Isaid:\'WhatdogamItodothis？MayGodprolongthylifeathousandyears!\'TheHajjisaid:\'Whohasseento-morrow？
Godhasgivenmeasitwereasoninmyoldage，andIpraiseHim。Seethatthebreedisnotlost!\'
\"Hewalkedthenfromthecooking-placetoourSahib\'soffice-tableunderthetree，whereourSahibheldinhishandablueenvelopeofServicenewlycomeinbyrunnerfromtheNorth。
Atthis，fearingevilnewsfortheHajji，Iwouldhaverestrainedhim，buthesaid:\'WebebothGreatOnes。Neitherofuswillfail。\'OurSahiblookeduptoinvitetheHajjitoapproachbeforeheopenedtheletter，buttheHajjistoodofftillourSahibhadwellopenedandwellreadtheletter。ThentheHajjisaid:\'Isitpermittedtosayfarewell？\'OurSahibstabbedtheletteronthefilewithadeepandjoyfulbreathandcriedawelcome。TheHajjisaid:\'Igotomyownplace，\'andheloosedfromhisneckachainedheartofambergrissetinsoftgoldandhelditforth。
OurSahibsnatcheditswiftlyintheclosedfist，downturned，andsaid\'Ifthynamebewrittenhereon，itisneedless，foranameisalreadyengravedonmyheart。\'TheHajjisaid:\'Andonminealsoisanameengraved；butthereisnonameontheamulet。\'TheHajjistoopedtoourSahib\'sfeet，butourSahibraisedandembracedhim，andtheHajjicoveredhismouthwithhisshoulder-cloth，becauseitworked，andsohewentaway。\"
\"AndwhatorderwasintheServiceletter？\"Stalkymurmured。
\"OnlyanorderforourSahibtowriteareportonsomenewcattlesickness。Butallorderscomeinthesamemakeofenvelope。Wecouldnottellwhatorderitmighthavebeen。\"
\"Whenheopenedtheletter——myson——madehenosign？Acough？Anoath？\"Stricklandasked。
\"None，Sahib。Iwatchedhishands。Theydidnotshake。Afterwardhewipedhisface，buthewassweatingbeforefromtheheat。\"
\"Didheknow？DidheknowwhotheHajjiwas？\"saidtheInfantinEnglish。
\"Iamapoorman。WhocansaywhataSahibofthatgetknowsordoesnotknow？ButtheHajjiisright。Thebreedshouldnotbelost。ItisnotveryhotforlittlechildreninDupe，andasregardsnurses，mysister\'scousinatJull——\"
\"H\'m!Thatistheboy\'sownconcern。IwonderifhisChiefeverknew？\"saidStrickland。
\"Assuredly，\"saidImamDin。\"OnthenightbeforeourSahibwentdowntothesea，theGreatSahib——theManwiththeStoneEyes——dinedwithhiminhiscamp，Ibeinginchargeofthetable。
TheytalkedalongwhileandtheGreatSahibsaid:\'WhatdidstthouthinkofThatOne？\'(WedonotsayIbnMakarrahyonder。)OurSahibsaid:\'Whichone？\'TheGreatSahibsaid:\'ThatOnewhichtaughtthyman-eaterstogrowcottonforthee。HewasinthyDistrictthreemonthstomycertainknowledge，andIlookedbyeveryrunnerthatthouwouldstsendmeinhishead。\'OurSahibsaid:\'Ifhisheadhadbeenneeded，anothermanshouldhavebeenappointedtogovernmyDistrict，forhewasmyfriend。\'TheGreatSahiblaughedandsaid:\'IfIhadneededalessermaninthyplacebesureIwouldhavesenthim，as，ifIhadneededtheheadofThatOne，besureIwouldhavesentmentobringittome。Buttellmenow，bywhatmeansdidstthoutwisthimtothyuseandourprofitinthiscotton-play？\'OurSahibsaid:\'ByGod，Ididnotusethatmaninanyfashionwhatever。Hewasmyfriend。\'TheGreatSahibsaid:\'\'TohVac!(Bosh!)Tell!\'OurSahibshookhisheadashedoes——ashedidwhenachild——andtheylookedateachotherlikesword-playmenintheringatafair。TheGreatSahibdroppedhiseyesfirstandhesaid:\'Sobeit。Ishouldperhapshaveansweredthusinmyyouth。Nomatter。IhavemadetreatywithThatOneasanallyoftheState。Somedayheshalltellmethetale。\'ThenIbroughtinfreshcoffee，andtheyceased。ButI
donotthinkThatOnewilltelltheGreatSahibmorethanourSahibtoldhim。\"
\"Wherefore？\"Iasked。
\"BecausetheyarebothGreatOnes，andIhaveobservedinmylifethatGreatOnesemploywordsverylittlebetweeneachotherintheirdealings；stilllesswhentheyspeaktoathirdconcerningthosedealings。Alsotheyprofitbysilence……NowIthinkthatthemotherhascomedownfromtheroom，andIwillgorubhisfeettillhesleeps。\"
HisearshadcaughtAgnes\'sstepatthestair-headandpresentlyshepassedusonherwaytothemusicroomhummingtheMagnificat。
THENEWKNIGHTHOOD
WhogiveshimtheBath？
\"I，\"saidthewet，RankJungle-sweat，\"I\'llgivehimtheBath!\"
Who\'llsingthepsalms？
\"We，\"saidthePalms。
\"Erethehotwindbecalms，We\'llsingthepsalms。\"
Wholaysonthesword？
\"I，\"saidtheSun，\"Beforehehasdone，I\'lllayonthesword。\"
Whofastenshisbelt？
\"I，\"saidShort-Rations，\"IknowallthefashionsOftighteningabelt!\"
Whobuckleshisspur？
\"I，\"saidhisChief，Exactingandbrief，\"I\'llgivehimthespur。\"
Who\'llshakehishand？
\"I，\"saidtheFever，\"AndI\'mnodeceiver，I\'llshakehishand。\"
Whobringshimthewine？
\"I，\"saidQuinine，\"It\'sahabitofmine，I\'llcomewithhiswine。\"
Who\'llputhimtoproof？
\"I，\"saidAllEarth，\"Whateverhe\'sworth，I\'llputtotheproof。\"
Who\'llchoosehimforKnight？
\"I，\"saidhisMother，\"Beforeanyother，Myveryownknight!\"
Andafterthisfashion，adventuretoseek，WasSirGalahadmade——asitmightbelastweek!
THEPUZZLER
IhadnotseenPenfentenyousincetheMiddleNineties，whenhewasMinisterofWaysandWoodsidesinDeThouar\'sfirstAdministration。Lastsummer，thoughhenominallyheldthesameportfolio，hewashisColony\'sPremierinallbutname，andtheidolofhisownprovince，whichistwoandahalftimesthesizeofEngland。Politically，hiscreedwashisgrowingcountry；andhecameovertoEnglandtodevelopaGreatIdeainherbehalf。
Believingthathehadputitintrain，Imadehastetowelcomehimtomyhouseforaweek。
ThathewaschasedtomydoorbyhisownAgent-Generalinamotor；thattheyturnedmystudyintoaCabinetMeetingwhichI
wasnotinvitedtoattend；thatthelocaltelegraphallbutbrokedownbeneaththestrainofhundredwordcodedcables；andthatI
practicallybrokeintothehouseofastrangertogethimtelephonicfacilitiesonaSunday，arethingsIoverlook。WhatI
objectedtowashisingratitude，whileIthustoreupEnglandtohelphim。SoIsaid:\"Whyonearthdidn\'tyouseeyourOppositeNumberinTowninsteadofbringingyourofficeworkhere？\"
\"Eh？Who？\"saidhe，lookingupfromhisfourthcablesincelunch。
\"SeetheEnglishMinisterforWaysandWoodsides。\"
\"Isawhim，\"saidPenfentenyou，withoutenthusiasm。
Itseemedthathehadcalledtwiceonthegentleman，butwithoutanappointment——(\"IthoughtifIwasn\'tbigenough，mybusinesswas\")——andeachtimehadfoundhimengaged。Athirdpartyintervening，suggestedthatameetingmightbearrangedifduenoticeweregiven。
\"Then，\"saidPenfentenyou，\"Icalledattheofficeatteno\'clock。\"
\"Butthey\'dbeinbed，\"Icried。
\"Oneofthebabieswasawake。Hetoldmethat——that\'mysortofquestions\"\'——heslappedthepileofcables——\"wereonlytakenbetween11and2P。M。SoIwaited。\"
\"Andwhenyougottobusiness？\"Iasked。
Hemadeagestureofdespair。\"Itwasliketalkingtochildren。
They\'dneverheardofit。\"
\"AndyourOppositeNumber？\"
Penfentenyoudescribedhim。
\"Hush!Youmustn\'ttalklikethat!\"Ishuddered。\"He\'soneofthebestofgoodfellows。Youshouldmeethimsocially。\"
\"I\'vedonethattoo，\"hesaid。\"Haveyou？\"
\"Heavenforbid!\"Icried；\"butthat\'stheproperthingtosay。\"
\"Oh，hesaidalltheproperthings。OnlyIthoughtasthiswasEnglandthatthey\'dmoreorlesshavethehangofallthe——generalhang-togetherofmyIdea。ButIhadtoexplainitfromthebeginning。\"
\"Ah!They\'dprobablymislaidthepapers，\"Isaid，andItoldhimthestoryofathree-millionpoundinsurrectioncausedbyadeputyUnder-Secretarysittinguponamassofgreen-labelledcorrespondenceinsteadofreadingit。
\"Iwonderitdoesn\'thappeneveryweek，\"theanswered。\"D\'youmindmyhavingtheAgent-Generaltodinneragaintonight？I\'llwire，andhecanmotordown。\"
TheAgent-Generalarrivedtwohourslater，apatientandexpostulatingperson，visiblytornbetweenthepullingDevilofarampantColony，andtheplacidBakerofalargelyuninterestedEngland。ButwithPenfentenyoubehindhimhehadworked；forhetoldusthatLordLundie——theLawLordwasthefinalauthorityonthelegalandconstitutionalaspectsoftheGreatIdea，andtohimitmustbereferred。
\"GoodHeavensalive!\"thunderedPenfentenyou。\"ItoldyoutogetthatsettledlastChristmas。\"
\"Itwasthemiddleofthehouse-partyseason，\"saidtheAgent-Generalmildly。\"LordLundie\'satCredenceGreennow——hespendshisholidaysthere。It\'sonlyfortymilesoff。\"
\"Shan\'tIdisturbhisHoliness？\"saidPenfentenyouheavily。
\"Perhaps\'mysortofquestions，\"\'hesnorted，\"mayn\'tbediscussedexceptatmidnight。\"
\"Oh，don\'tbeachild，\"Isaid。
\"Whatthiscountryneeds，\"saidPenfentenyou，\"is——\"andfortenminuteshetrumpetedrebellion。
\"Whatyouneedistopayforyourownprotection，\"Icutinwhenhedrewbreath，andIshowedhimayellowishpaper，suppliedgratisbyGovernment，whichiscalledScheduleD。Tomymercilessdelighthehadneverseenthethingbefore，andIcompletedmyvictoryoverhimandalltheColonieswithaBrassey\'s\"NavalAnnual\"anda\"Statesman\'sYearBook。\"
TheAgent-Generalinterposedwithagent-generalities(buttheyweremerelyprovocateurs)aboutTiesofSentiment。
\"Theybeblowed!\"saidPenfentenyou。\"What\'sthegoodofsentimenttowardsaKindergarten？\"
\"Quiteso。Tiesofcommonfunkarethethingsthatbindustogether；andthesooneryounewnationsrealizeitthebetter。
Whatyouneedisanannualinvasion。Thenyou\'dgrowup。\"
\"Thankyou!Thankyou!\"saidtheAgent-General。\"That\'swhatIamalwaystryingtotellmypeople。\"
\"But，mydearfool，\"Penfentenyoualmostwept，\"doyoupretendthatthesebanana-fingeredamateursathomearegrownup？\"
\"Youpoor，serious，paganman，\"Iretorted，\"ifyoutake\'emthatway，you\'llwreckyourGreatIdea。\"
\"WillyoutakehimtoLordLundie\'sto-morrow？\"saidtheAgent-Generalpromptly。
\"IsupposeImust，\"Isaid，\"ifyouwon\'t。\"
\"Notme!I\'mgoinghome，\"saidtheAgent-General，anddeparted。I
amgladthatIamnocolony\'sAgent-General。
Penfentenyoucontinuedtoargueaboutnavalcontributionstill1。15A。M。，thoughIwasvictorfromthefirst。
Atteno\'clockIgothimandhiscorrespondenceintothemotor，andhehadthedecencytoaskwhetherhehadbeenunpolishedover-night。IrepliedthatIwaitedanapology。Thishemadeexcuseforrenewedarguments，andusedwaysideshowsasillustrationsofthedecadenceofEngland。
ForexampleweburstatyrewithinamileofCredenceGreen，and，tosavetime，walkedintothebeautifullykeptlittlevillage。
Hiseyewascaughtbyabuildingofpale-bluetin，stencilled\"CalvinistChapel，\"beforewhoseshutteredwindowsanItalianorgan-grinder。withapetticoatedmonkeywasplaying\"DollyGrey-\"
\"Yes。That\'sit!\"snappedtheegoist。\"That\'saparableofthegeneralsituationinEngland。Andlookatthosebrutes!\"Ahugehouseholdremovalsvanwashaltedatapublic-house。Themeninchargeweredrinkingbeerfromblueandwhitemugs。Itseemedtomeaprettysight，butPenfentenyousaiditrepresentedOurNationalAttitude。
LordLundie\'ssummerresting-placewelearnedwasafarm，alittleoutofthevillage，upahillroundwhichcurledahighhedgedroad。OnlyaninitiatedfewspendtheirholidaysatCredenceGreen，andtheyhavetrainedthehouseholderstokeeptheplaceselect。Penfentenyoumadeagrievanceofthisaswewalkedupthelane，followedatadistancebytheorgan-grinder。
\"Supposeheishavingahouse-party，\"hesaid:\"Anything\'spossibleinthisinsaneland。\"
Justatthatminutewefoundourselvesoppositeanemptyvilla。
Itsroofwasofblackslate，withbrightunweatheredridge-tiling；itswallswereofblood-colouredbrick，corneredandbandedwithvermiculatedstuccowork，andtherewascobalt，magenta，andpurestapple-greenwindow-glassoneithersideofthefrontdoor。Thewholewasfencedfromtheroadbyalow，brick-pillared，flintwall，toppedwithacast-ironGothicrail，pickedoutinblueandgold。
Tightbedsofgeranium，calceolaria，andlobeliaspeckledtheglass-plat，fromwhosecentreroseoneofthefinestaraucarias(itsothernamebythewayis\"monkey-puzzler\")，thatithaseverbeenmylottosee。Itmusthavebeenfullthirtyfeethigh，anditsfoliageexquisitelyansweredtheironrailings。Suchbijouneplusultras，repletewithalltheamenities，donot，asIpointedouttoPenfentenyou，transpireoutsideofEngland。
Ahedge，swingingsharpright，flankedthegarden，andaboveitonaslopeofdaisy-dottedmeadowswecouldseeLordLundie\'stiledandhalf-timberedsummerfarmhouse。Ofasuddenweheardvoicesbehindthetree——thefinefulltonesoftheunembarrassedEnglish，speakingtotheirequals——thattorethroughthehedgelikesleetthroughrafters。
\"Thatitisnotcalled\'monkey-puzzler\'fornothing，Iwillinglyconcede\"——thiswasarichandrollingnote——\"butontheotherhand——\"
\"Isubmit，melud，thatthenameimpliesthatitmight，could，would，orshouldbeascendedbyamonkey，andnotthattheascentisaphysicalimpossibility。IbelieveoneofourSouthAmericanspidermonkeyswouldn\'thesitate……ByJove，itmightbeworthtrying，if——\"
Thiswasacrispervoicethanthefirst。Athird，higher-pitched，andfullofpleasantaffectations，brokein。
\"Oh，practicalmen，thereisnoapehere。WhydoyouwasteoneofGod\'sowndaysonunprofitablediscussion？Givemeamatch!\"
\"I\'veagoodmindtomakeyoudemonstrateinyourownperson。
Comeon，Bubbles!We\'llmakeJimmyclimb!\"
Therewasasoundofscuffling，brokenbysqueaksfromJimmyofthehighvoice。IturnedbackanddrewPenfentenyouintothesideoftheflankinghedge。IrememberedtohavereadinasocietypaperthatLordLundie\'slessernamewas\"Bubbles。\"
\"Whataretheydoing？\"Penfentenyousaidsharply。\"Drunk？\"
\"Justplaying!SuperabundantvitalityoftheRace，youknow。
We\'llwatch\'em，\"Ianswered。Thenoiseceased。
\"Mydeliver，\"Jimmygasped。\"Theramcaughtinthethicket，and——I\'mtheonlyonewhocantalkNeapolitan!Leggomycollar!\"
Hecriedaloudinaforeigntongue，andwasansweredfromthegate。
\"It\'stheCalvinisticorgan-grinder，\"Iwhispered。Ihadalreadyfoundapracticablebreakatthebottomofthehedge。\"They\'regoingtotrytomakethemonkeyclimb，Ibelieve。\"
\"Here——letmelook!\"Penfentenyouflunghimselfdown，androotedtillhetoobrokeapeep-hole。Welaysidebysidecommandingtheentiregardenattenyards\'range。
\"Youknow\'em？\"saidPenfentenyou，asImadesomenoiseorother。
\"Bysightonly。ThebigfellowinflannelsisLordLundie；thelight-builtonewiththeyellowbeardpaintedhispictureatthelastAcademy:He\'saswellR。A。，JamesLoman。\"
\"Andthebrownchapwiththehands？\"
\"Tomling，SirChristopherTomling，theSouthAmericanengineerwhobuiltthe——\"
\"SanJuanViaduct。Iknow，\"saidPenfentenyou。\"Weoughttohavehadhimwithus……Doyouthinkamonkeywouldclimbthetree？\"
Theorgan-grinderatthegatefencedhisbeastwithonearmasJimmy-talked。
\"Don\'tshowoffyourfutileaccomplishments，\"saidLordLundie。
\"Tellhimit\'sanexperiment。Interesthim!\"
\"Shutup，Bubbles。Youaren\'tincourt，\"Jimmy\'，replied。\"Thisneedsdelicacy。Giuseppesays——\"
\"Interestthemonkey，\"thebrownengineerinterrupted。\"Hewon\'tclimbforlove。Cutuptothehouseandgetsomebiscuits，Bubbles——sugaronesandanorangeortwo。Noneedtotellourwomenfolk。\"
Thehugewhitefigurelobbedoffatatrotwhichwouldnothavedisgracedaboyofseventeen。IgatheredfromsomethingJimmyletfallthatthethreehadbeenatHarrowtogether。
\"ThatTomlinghasaheadonhisShoulders，\"mutteredPenfentenyou。\"Pitywedidn\'tgethimfortheColony。Butthequestionis，willthemonkeyclimb？\"
\"Bequick，Jimmy。Tellthemanwe\'llgivehimfivebobfortheloanofthebeast。Nowruntheorganunderthetree，andwe\'lldressitwhenBubblescomesback，\"SirChristophercried。
\"I\'veoftenwondered，\"saidPenfentenyou，\"whetheritwouldpuzzleamonkey？\"HehadforgottentheneedsofhisGrowingNation，andwasearnestlypartingthewhite-thornstemswithhisfingers。
**********
GiuseppeandJimmydidastheyweretold，themonkeyfollowingthemwithawaryandmalignanteye。
\"Here\'sadiscovery，\"saidJimmy。\"Thesingingpartofthisorgancomesoffthewheels。\"Hespokevolublytotheproprietor。\"Oh，it\'ssoasGiuseppecantakeittohisroomo\'nights。Andplayit。D\'youhearthat？Theorgan-grinder，afterhisday\'scrime，playshisaccursedmachineforlove。Forlove，Chris!AndMichaelAngelowasoneof\'em!\"
\"Don\'tjaw!Tellhimtotakethebeast\'spetticoatoff，\"saidSirChristopherTomling。
LordLundiereturned，verylittlewinded，throughagaphigherupthehedge。
\"They\'reallout，thankgoodness!\"hecried，\"butI\'veraidedwhatIcould。Macronsglaces，candiedfruit，andabagoforanges。\"
\"Excellent!\"saidtheworld-renownedcontractor。
\"Jimmy，you\'rethelight-weight；jumpupontheorganandimpalethesethingsontheleavesasIhand\'em!\"
\"Isee，\"saidJimmy，caperinglikeaspringbuck。\"Upwardandonward，eh？First，he\'llreachoutfor——howinfernalpricklytheseleavesare!——thisbiscuit。Nextwe\'lllurehimon——(that\'saboutthereachofhisarm)——withthemarronglare，andthenhe\'llopenoutthisorange。Howhuman!Howlikeyourignoblecareer，Bubbles!\"
Withcareandelaborationtheyornamentedthattree\'slowerbrancheswithsugar-toppedbiscuits，oranges，bitsofbanana，andmarronsglarestillitlookedveryape\'spathtoParadise。
\"UnchaintheGyascutis!\"saidSirChristophercommandingly。
Giuseppeplacedthemonkeyatopoftheorgan，wherethebeast，misunderstanding，stoodonhishead。
\"He\'sthrowinghimselfonthemercyoftheCourt，melud，\"saidJimmy。\"No——nowhe\'sinterested。Nowhe\'sreachingafterhigherthings。Whatwouldn\'tIgivetohavehere\"(hementionedanamenotunhonouredinBritishArt)。\"AmbitionpluckingapplesofSodom!\"(themonkeyhadprickedhimselfandwasswearing)。
\"GeniushamperedbyConvention？Oh，there\'sawholebushelfulofallegoriesinit!\"
\"Givehimtime。He\'sbalancingtheprobabilities，\"saidLordLundie。
Thethreeclosedroundthemonkey，——hangingonhiseverymotionwithanearnestnessalmostequaltoours。Thegreatjudge\'shead——seamedandverticalforehead，ironmouth，andpike-likeunder-jaw，allsetonthatthickneckrisingoutofthewhiteflannelledcollar——wasthrownagainstthepuckeredgreensilkoftheorgan-frontasitmighthavebeenacameoofTitus。Jimmy，withraisedeyesandpartedlips，fingeredhisgrizzledchestnutbeard，andIwasnearenoughto-note，thecapablebeautyofhishands。SirChristopherstoodalittleapart，hisarmsfoldedbehindhisback，oneheavybrownbootthrustforward，chininascurbed，andblackeyebrowsloweredtoshadethekeeneyes。
Giuseppe\'sdarkfacebetweenflashingearrings，atwistedragofredandyellowsilkroundhisthroat，turnedfromthereachingyearningmonkeytothepinkandwhitebiscuitsspikedonthebronzedleafage。AnduponthemallfelltheseriousandworkmanlikesunofanEnglishsummerforenoon。
\"FilsdeSaintLouis，montezauciel!\"saidLordLundiesuddenlyinavoicethatmademethinkofBlackCaps。Idonotknowwhatthemonkeythought，becauseatthatinstantheleapedofftheorgananddisappeared。
Therewasaclashofbrokenglassbehindthetree。
Themonkey\'sface，distortedwithpassion，appearedatanupperwindowofthehouse，andastarredholeinthestained-glasswindowtotheleftof\'thefrontdoorshowedthefirststepsofhisupwardpath。
\"We\'vegottocatchhim，\"criedSirChristopher。\"Comealong!\"
Theypushedatthedoor，whichwasunlocked。
\"Yes。Butconsidertheethicsofthecase，\"saidJimmy。\"Isn\'tthisburglaryorsomething，Bubbles？\"
\"Settlethatwhenhe\'scaught，\"saidSirChristopher。We\'reresponsibleforthebeast。\"
Afuriousclangingofbellsbrokeoutoftheemptyhouse，followedbymuffedgurglingsandtrumpetings。
\"Whatthedeuceisthat？\"Iasked，halfaloud。
\"Theplumbing，ofcourse，\"saidPenfentenyou。\"Whatapity!I
believehe\'dhaveclimbedifLordLundiehadn\'tputhimoff!\"
\"Waitamoment，Chris，\"saidJimmytheinterpreter；\"Guiseppesayshemayanswertothemusicofhisinfancy。Giuseppe，therefore，willgoinwiththe\"organ。Orpheuswithhislute，youknow。Avante，Orpheus!There\'snoNeapolitanforbathroom，butI
fancyyourfriendisthere。\"
\"I\'mnotgoingintoanotherman\'shousewitha，hurdy-gurdy，\"
saidLordLundie，recoiling，asGiuseppeunshippedtheworkingmechanismoftheorgan(itdevelopedahang-downleg)fromitswheels，slippedastraproundhisshoulders，andgavethehandleatwist。
\"Don\'tbeacad，Bubbles，\"wasJimmy\'sanswer。\"Youcouldn\'tleaveusnowifyouwereontheWoolsack。Play，Orpheus!TheCadiaccompanies。\"
*********
Withawhoop，abuzz，andacrash，theorgansprangtolifeunderthehandofGiuseppe，andtheprocessionpassedthroughtherained-to-imitate-walnutfrontdoor。Amomentlaterwesawthemonkeyrampingontheroof。
\"He\'llbealloverthetownshipinaminuteifwedon\'theadhim，\"saidPenfentenyou，leapingtohisfeet，andcrashingintothegarden。Weheadedhimwithpebblestillheretiredthroughawindowtothetunefulreminderthathehadleftalotoflittlethingsbehindhim。Aswepassedthefrontdooritswungopen，andshowedJimmytheartistsittingatthebottomofanewly-cleanedstaircase。Hewaggledhishandsatus，andwhenweenteredwesawthatthemanwasstrickenspeechless。Hiseyesgrewred——redlikeaferret\'s——andwhatlittlebreathhehadwhistledshrilly。Atfirstwethoughtitwasafit，andthenwesawthatitwasmirth——theinopportunemirthoftheArtisticTemperament。
Thehousepalpitatedtoaninfamousmelodypunctuatedbythestumpofthebarrel-organ\'soneleg，asGiuseppe，above，movedfromroomtoroomafterhisrebelslave。NowandagainafloorshookalittleunderthecombinedrushesofLordLundieandSirChristopherTomling，whogavemanyandcontradictoryorders。ButwhentheycouldtheycursedJimmywithsplendidthoroughness。
\"Haveyouanythingtodowiththehouse？\"pantedJimmyatlast。
\"Becausewe\'reusingitjustnow。\"Hegulped。\"AndI\'mah——keepingcave。\"
\"Allright，\"saidPenfentenyou，andshutthehalldoor。
\"Jimmy，youunspeakableblackguard)Jimmy，youcur!Youcoward!\"
(LordLundie\'svoiceoverborethefloodofmelody。)\"Comeuphere!Giussieppe\'ssayingsomethingwedon\'tunderstand。\"
Jimmylistenedandinterpretedbetweenhiccups。
\"Hesaysyou\'dbetterplaytheorgan，Bubbles，andlethimdothestalking。Themonkeyknowshim。\"
\"ByJove，he\'squiteright，\"saidSirChristopher，fromthelanding。\"Takeit，Bubbles，atonce。\"
\"MyGod!\"saidLordLundieinhorror。
Thechasereverberatedoverourheads，fromtheatticstothefirstfloorandbackagain。BodiesandVoicesmetincollisionandargument，andonceortwicetheorganhitwallsanddoors。
Thenitbrokeforthinanewmanner。
\"He\'splayingit，\"saidJimmy。\"IknowhisacuteJustinianear。
Areyoufondofmusic？\"
\"IthinkLordLundieplaysverywellforabeginner，\"Iventured。
\"Ah!That\'sthetrainedlegalintellect。Likemasteringabrief。
Ihaven\'tgotit。\"Hewipedhiseyesandshook。
\"Hi!\"saidPenfentenyou，lookingthroughthestainedglasswindowdownthegarden。\"What\'sthat!\"
*********
Ahouseholdremovalsvan，inchargeoffourmen，hadhaltedatthegate。Ahusbandandhiswifehouseholdersbeyondquestion——quaveredirresolutelyupthepath。Helookedtired。Shewascertainlycross。Inallthishaphazardworldthelastcoupletounderstandascientificexperiment。
IlaidhandsonJimmy——theclamourabovedrowningspeechandwithPenfentenyou\'said，proppedhimagainstthewindow，thatheshouldsee。
Hesaw，nodded，fellasanumbrellacanfall，andkneeling，beathisforeheadontheshutdoor。Penfentenyouslidthebolt。
Thefurnituremenreinforcedthetwofiguresonthepath，andadvanced，spreadinggenerously。
\"Hadn\'twebetterwarnthemup-stairs？\"Isuggested:
\"No。I\'lldiefirst!\"saidJimmy。\"I\'mprettynearitnow。
Besides，theycalledmenames。\"
IturnedfromtheArtisttotheAdministrator。
\"Coeterisparibus，Ithinkwe\'dbetterbegoing，\"saidPenfentenyou，dealerincrises。
\"Ta——takemewithyou，\"saidJimmy。\"I\'venoreputationtolose，butI\'dliketowatch\'emfrom——er——outsidethepicture。\"
\"There\'salwaysamodusviviendi，\"Penfentenyoumurmured，andtiptoedalongthehalltoabackdoor，whichheopenedquitesilently。Wepassedintoatangleofgooseberrybusheswhere，athisstatesmanlikeexample，wecrawledonallfours，andregainedthehedge。
Herewelayup，secureinouralibi。
\"Butyourfirm，\"——thewomanwaswailingtothefurnitureremovalsmen——\"yourfirmpromisedmeeverythingshouldbeinyesterday。
Andit\'sto-day!Youshouldhavebeenhereyesterday!\"
\"Thelasttenantsain\'toutyet，lydy，\"saidoneofthem。
LordLundiewasrapidlyimprovingintechnique，thoughorgan-grinding，unliketheLaw，ismoreofacallingthanatrade，andhehungoccasionallyonadeadcentre。Giuseppe，I
think，wassinging，butIcouldnotunderstandthedriftofSirChristopher\'sremarks。TheywereSpanish。
Thewomansaidsomethingwedidnotcatch。
\"Youmight\'avesub-letit，\"themaninsisted。\"Oryourgentleman\'eremight。\"
\"ButIdidn\'t。SendforthePoliceatonce。\"
\"Iwouldn\'tdothat，lydy。They\'reonlyfruitpickersonabeano。
Theyaren\'tparticularwheretheysleep。\"
\"D\'youmeanthey\'vebeensleepingthere？Ionlyhaditcleanedlastweek。Getthemout。\"
\"Oh，ifyousayso，we\'ll\'ave\'emoutofitintwotwos。Alf，fetchmethespareswingle-bar。\"
\"Don\'t!You\'llknockthepaintoffthedoor。Getthemout!\"
\"Whatthe\'ellelseamItryingtodoforyou，lydy？\"themanansweredwithpathos；butthewomanwheeledonhermate。
\"Edward!They\'realldrunkhere，andthey\'reallmadthere。Dosomething!\"shesaid。
Edwardtookoneshortstepforward，andsighed\"Hullo!\"inthedirectionoftheturbulenthouse。Thewomanwalkedupanddown，theveryfigureofDomesticTragedy。Thefurnituremenswayedalittleontheirheels，and-
\"Gothim!\"Theshoutrangthroughallthewindowsatonce。Itwasfollowedbyablood-hound-likebayfromSirChristopher，amaniacalprestissimoontheorgan，andloudcries，forJimmy。ButJimmy，atmyside，rolledhiscongestedeyeballs，owl-wise。
\"Ineverknewthem，\"hesaid。\"I\'manorphan。\"
*********
Thefront，dooropened，andthethreecameforthtoshort-livedtriumph。IhadneverbeforeseenaLawLorddressedasfortennis，withastump-legbarrel-organstrappedtohisshoulder。
Butitisashybirdinthisplumage。LordLundiestrovetodisembarrasshimselfofhisaccoutrementsmuchasanill-trainedPunchandJudydogtriestoescapebackwardsthroughhisfrilledcollar。SirChristopher，coveredwithlimewash，cherishedableedingthumb，andthealmostcrazymonkeytoreatGiuseppe\'shair。
Themenonbothsidesreeled，butthewomanstoodherground。
\"Idiots!\"shesaid，andoncemore，\"Idiots!\"
IcouldhavegladdenedafewconvictsofmyacquaintancewithaphotographofLordLundieatthatinstant。
\"Madam，\"hebegan，wonderfullypreservingtherollinhisvoice，\"itwasamonkey。\"
SirChristophersuckedhisthumbandnodded。
\"Takeitawayandgo，\"shereplied。\"Goaway!\"
Iwouldhavegone，andgladly，onthispermission，butthesestillstrongmenmusteverbejustifyingthemselves。LordLundieturnedtothehusband，whoforthefirsttimespoke。
\"Ihaverentedthishouse。Iammovingin，\"hesaid。
\"Weoughttohavebeeninyesterday，\"thewomaninterrupted。
\"Yes。Weoughttohavebeeninyesterday。Haveyousleptthereovernight？\"saidthemanpeevishly。
\"No；Iassureyouwehaven\'t，\"saidLordLundie。
\"Thengoaway。Goquiteaway，\"criedthewoman。
Theywent——insinglefiledownthepath。Theywentsilently，restrappingtheorganonitswheels，andrechainingthemonkeytotheorgan。
\"Damnitall!\"saidPenfentenyou。\"Theydofacethemusic，andtheydostickbyeachotherinprivatelife!\"
\"TiesofCommonFunk，\"Ianswered。Giusepperantothegateandfledbacktothepossibleworld。LordLundieandSirChristopher，constrainedbytradition，pacedslowly。
Thenitcametopassthatthewoman，whowalkedbehindthem，lifteduphereyes，andbeheldthetreewhichtheyhaddressed。
\"Stop!\"shecalled；andtheystopped。\"Whodidthat？\"
Therewasnoanswer。TheEternalBadBoyineverymanhungitsheadbeforetheEternalMotherineverywoman。
\"Whoputthesedisgustingthingsthere？\"sherepeated。
SuddenlyPenfentenyou，PremierofhisColonyinallbutname，leftJimmyandme，andappearedatthegate。(Ifheisnotturnedoutofoffice，thatishowhewillappearontheDayofArmageddon。)
\"Welldoneyou!\"hecriedzealously，anddoffedhishattothewoman。\"Haveyouanychildren，madam？\"hedemanded。
\"Yes，two。Theyshouldhavebeenhereto-day。Thefirmpromised——\"
\"Thenwe\'renotaminutetoosoon。Thatmonkeyescaped。Itwasaverydangerousbeast。\'Mighthavefrightenedyourchildrenintofits。Alltheorgan-grinder\'sfault!Amostluckythingthesegentlemencaughtitwhentheydid。Ihopeyouaren\'tbadlymauled，SirChristopher？\"ShakenasIwas(Iwantedtogetawayandlaugh)Icouldnotbutadmirethescoundrel\'sconsummatetactinleadinghissecondhighesttrump。AnasswouldhaveintroducedLordLundieandtheywouldnothavebelievedhim。
Ittookthetrick。Thecouplesmiled，andgaverespectfulthanksfortheirdeliverancebysuchhandsfromsuchperils。
\"Notintheleast，\"saidLordLundie。\"Anybody——anyfatherwouldhavedoneasmuch，andpraydon\'tapologizeyourmistakewasquitenatural。\"Afurnituremansniggeredhere，andLordLundierolledanEyeofDoomontheirranks。\"Bytheway，ifyouhavetroublewiththesepersons——theyseemtohavetakenasmuchasisgoodforthem——pleaseletmeknow。Er——Goodmorning!\"
Theyturnedintothelane。
\"Heavens!\"saidJimmy，brushinghimselfdown。\"Who\'sthatrealmanwiththerealhead？\"andwehurriedafterthem，fortheywererunningunsteadily，squeakinglikerabbitsastheyran。Weovertooktheminalittlenutwoodhalfamileuptheroad，wheretheyhadturnedaside，andwererolling。Sowerolledwiththem，andceasednottillwehadarrivedattheextremityofexhaustion。
\"You——yousawitall，then？\"saidLordLundie，rebuttoninghisnineteen-inchcollar。
\"Isawitwasavitalquestionfromthefirst，\"respondedPenfentenyou，andblewhisnose。
\"Itwas。Bytheway，d\'youmindtellingmeyourname？\"
Summa。Penfentenyou\'sGreatIdeahasgonethrough，alittlechippedattheedges，butinfineandfar-reachingshape。HisOppositeNumberworkedatitlikeamule——abewilderedmule，beatenfrombehind，coaxedfrominfront，andproppedoneithersoftsidebyLordLundieofthecompressedmouthandthesearingtongue。
SirChristopherTomlinghasbeenravishedfromtheArgentine，where，afterall，hewasbutpreparingtrade-routesforhostilepeoples，andnowadornstheforefrontofPenfentenyou\'sAdvisoryBoard。Thiswasanunforeseenextra，aswasJimmy\'sgratisfull-length——(itwillbeinthisyear\'sAcademy)ofPenfentenyou，whohasreturnedtohisownplace。
Nowandagain，fromafaroff，betweentheslamandbumpofhisshiftingscenery，theglareofhismanipulatedlimelight，andthecontrolledrollingofhisthunder-drums，Icatchhisvoice，liftedinencouragementandadvicetohisfellow-countrymen。HeisquitesoundonTiesofSentiment，and——aloneofColonialStatesmenventurestotalkoftheTiesofCommonFunk。
HereinIhavemyreward。
THEPUZZLER
TheCeltinallhisvariantsfromBuilthtoBallyhoo，Hismentalprocessesareplain——oneknowswhathewilldo，Andcanlogicallypredicatehisfinishbyhisstart:
ButtheEnglish——ah，theEnglish!——theyarequitearaceapart。
Theirpsychologyisbovine，theiroutlookcrudeandrare；
Theyabandonvitalmatterstobetickledwithastraw；
Butthestrawthattheyweretickledwith——thechaffthattheywerefedwith——
Theyconvertintoaweaver\'sbeamtobreaktheirfoeman\'sheadwith。
ForundemocraticreasonsandformotivesnotofState，Theyarriveattheirconclusions——largelyinarticulate。
Beingvoidofself-expressiontheyconfidetheirviewstonone；
Butsometimes，inasmoking-room，onelearnswhythingsweredone。
Intelegraphicsentences，halfswallowedattheends，Theyhintamatter\'sinwardness——andtherethematterends。
AndwhiletheCeltistalkingfromValenciatoKirkwall，TheEnglish——ah，theEnglish!——don\'tsayanythingatall!
LITTLEFOXES
ATALEOFTHEGIHONHUNT
AfoxcameoutofhisearthonthebanksoftheGreatRiverGihon，whichwatersEthiopia。Hesawawhitemanridingthroughthedrydhurra-stalks，and，thathisdestinymightbefulfilled，barkedathim。
Theriderdrewreinamongthevillagersroundhisstirrup。
\"What，\"saidhe，\"isthat？\"
\"That，\"saidtheSheikhofthevillage，\"isafox，OExcellencyOurGovernor。\"
\"Itisnot，then，ajackal？\"
\"Nojackal，butAbuHusseinthefatherofcunning。\"
\"Also，\"thewhitemanspokehalfaloud，\"IamMudirofthisProvince。\"
\"Itistrue，\"theycried。\"Ya，SaartelMudir\"(OExcellencyOurGovernor)。
TheGreatRiverGihon，wellusedtothemoodsofkings，slidbetweenhismile-widebankstowardthesea，whiletheGovernorpraisedGodinaloudandsearchingcryneverbeforeheardbytheriver。
Whenhehadloweredhisrightforefingerfrombehindhisrightear，thevillagerstalkedtohimoftheircrops——barley，dhurrah，millet，onions，andthelike。TheGovernorstoodinhisstirrups。
Northhelookedupastripofgreencultivationafewhundredyardswidethatlaylikeacarpetbetweentheriverandthetawnylineofthedesert。Sixtymilesthatstripstretchedbeforehim，andasmanybehind。Ateveryhalf-mileagroaningwater-wheelliftedthesoftwaterfromtherivertothecropsbywayofamud-builtaqueduct。Afootorsowidewasthewater-channel；fivefootormorehighwasthebankonwhichitran，anditsbasewasbroadinproportion。AbuHussein，misnamedtheFatherofCunning，drankfromtheriverbelowhisearth，andhisshadowwaslonginthelowsun。HecouldnotunderstandtheloudcrywhichtheGovernorhadcried。
TheSheikhofthevillagespokeofthecropsfromwhichtherulersofalllandsdrawrevenue；buttheGovernor\'seyeswerefixed，betweenhishorse\'sears，onthenearestwater-channel。
\"VerylikeaditchinIreland，\"hemurmured，andsmiled，dreamingofarazor-toppedbankindistantKildare。
Encouragedbythatsmile，theSheikhcontinued。\"Whencropsfailitisnecessarytoremittaxation。Thenitisagoodthing，O
ExcellencyOurGovernor，thatyoucomeandseethecropswhichhavefailed，anddiscoverthatwehavenotlied。\"
\"Assuredly。\"TheGovernorshortenedhisreins。Thehorsecanteredon，roseattheembankmentofthewater-channel，changedlegcleverlyontop，andhoppeddowninacloudofgoldendust。
AbuHusseinfromhisearthwatchedwithinterest。Hehadneverbeforeseensuchthings。
\"Assuredly，\"theGovernorrepeated，andcamebackbythewayhehadgone。\"Itisalwaysbesttoseeforone\'sself。\"
Anancientandstillbullet-speckledstern-wheelsteamer，withabargelashedtoherside，cameroundtheriverbend。ShewhistledtotelltheGovernorhisdinnerwasready，andthehorse，seeinghisfodderpiledonthebarge，whinniedback。
\"Moreover，\"theSheikhadded，\"inthedaysoftheOppressiontheEmirsandtheircreaturesdispossessedmanypeopleoftheirlands。Allupanddowntheriverourpeoplearewaitingtoreturntotheirlawfulfields。\"
\"Judgeshavebeenappointedtosettlethatmatter，\"saidtheGovernor。\"Theywillpresentlycomeinsteamersandhearthewitnesses。\"
\"Wherefore？DidtheJudgeskilltheEmirs？WewouldratherbejudgedbythemenwhoexecutedGod\'sjudgmentontheEmirs。Wewouldratherabidebyyourdecision，OExcellencyOurGovernor。\"
TheGovernornodded。ItwasayearsincehehadseentheEmirsstretchedcloseandstillroundthereddenedsheepskinwherelayElMahdi，theProphetofGod。Nowthereremainednotraceoftheirdominionexcepttheoldsteamer，oncepartofaDervishflotilla，whichwashishouseandoffice。Shesidledintotheshore，loweredaplank，andtheGovernorfollowedhishorseaboard。
Lightsburnedonhertilllate，dullyreflectedintheriverthattuggedathermooring-ropes。TheGovernorread，notforthefirsttime，theadministrationreportsofoneJohnJorrocks，M。F。H。
\"Weshallneed，\"hesaidsuddenlytohisInspector，\"abouttencouple。I\'llget\'emwhenIgohome。You\'llbeWhip，Baker？\"
TheInspector，whowasnotyettwenty-five，signifiedhisassentintheusualmanner，whileAbuHusseinbarkedatthevastdesertmoon。
\"Ha!\"saidtheGovernor，comingoutinhispyjamas，\"we\'llbegivingyoucapiviinanotherthreemonths，myfriend。\"
*****
Itwasfour，asamatteroffact，ereasteamerwithamelodiousbargefulofhoundsanchoredatthatlanding。TheInspectorleapeddownamongthem，andthehomesickwanderersreceivedhimasabrother。
\"Everybodyfed\'emeverythingonboardship，butthey\'rerealdaintyhoundsatbottom，\"theGovernorexplained。\"That\'sRoyalyou\'vegotholdof——thepickofthebunch——andthebitchthat\'sgot，holdofyou——she\'salittleexcited——isMayQueen。Merriman，outofCottesmoreMaudlin，youknow。\"
\"Iknow。\'Grandoldbetchwiththetaneyebrows，\"\'theInspectorcooed。\"Oh，Ben!Ishalltakeaninterestinlifenow。Harkto\'em!Ohark!\"
AbuHussein，underthehighbank，wentabouthisnight\'swork。Aneddycarriedhisscenttothebarge，andthreevillagesheardthecrashofmusicthatfollowed。EventhenAbuHusseindidnotknowbetterthantobarkinreply。
\"Well，whataboutmyProvince？\"theGovernorasked。
\"Notsobad，\"theInspectoranswered，withRoyal\'sheadbetweenhisknees。\"Ofcourse，allthevillageswantremissionoftaxes，but，asfarasIcansee，thewholecountry\'sstinkin\'withfoxes。Ourtroublewillbechoppin\'\'emincover。I\'vegotalistoftheonlyvillagesentitledtoanyremission。Whatd\'youcallthisflat-sided，blue-mottledbeastwiththejowl？\"
\"Beagle-boy。Ihavemydoubtsabouthim。Doyouthinkwecangettwodaysaweek？\"
\"Easy；andasmanybyesasyouplease。TheSheikhofthisvillageheretellsmethathisbarleyhasfailed，andhewantsafiftypercentremission。\"
\"We\'llbeginwithhimto-morrow，andlookathiscropsaswego。
Nothinglikepersonalsupervision，\"saidtheGovernor。
Theybeganatsunrise。Thepackflewoffthebargeineverydirection，and，aftergambols，dugliketerriersatAbuHussein\'smanyearths。Thentheydrankthemselvespot-belliedonGihonwaterwhiletheGovernorandtheInspectorchastisedthemwithwhips。Scorpionswereadded；forMayQueennosedone，andwasremovedtothebargelamenting。Mystery(apuppy，alas!)metasnake，andtheblue-mottledBeagle-boy(neveradaintyhound)atethatwhichheshouldhavepassedby。OnlyRoyal，oftheBelvoirtanheadandthesad，discerningeyes，madeanyattempttoupholdthehonourofEnglandbeforethewatchingvillage。
\"Youcan\'texpecteverything，\"saidtheGovernorafterbreakfast。
\"Wegotit，though——everythingexceptfoxes。HaveyouseenMayQueen\'snose？\"saidtheInspector。
\"AndMystery\'sdead。We\'llkeep\'emcouplednexttimetillwegetwellinamongthecrops。Isay，whatababblingbody-snatcherthatBeagle-boyis!Oughttobedrowned!\"
\"Theyburypeoplesodamncasualhereabouts。Givehimanotherchance，\"theInspectorpleaded，notknowingthatheshouldlivetorepentmostbitterly。
\"Talkin\'ofchances，\"saidtheGovernor，\"thisSheikhliesabouthisbarleybein\'afailure。Ifit\'shighenoughtohideahoundatthistimeofyear，it\'sallright。Andhewantsafiftypercentremission，yousaid？\"
\"Youdidn\'tgoonpastthemelonpatchwhereItriedtoturnWanderer。It\'sallburnedupfromthereontothedesert。Hisotherwater-wheelhasbrokendown，too，\"theInspectorreplied。
\"Verygood。We\'llsplitthedifferenceandallowhimtwenty-fivepercentoff。Where\'llwemeetto-morrow？\"
\"There\'ssometroubleamongthevillagesdowntheriverabouttheirland-titles。It\'sgoodgoin\'groundthere，too，\"theInspectorsaid。
Thenextmeet，then，wassometwentymilesdowntheriver，andthepackwerenotenlargedtilltheywerefairlyamongthefields。AbuHusseinwasthereinforce——fourofhim。Fourdelirioushuntsoffourminuteseach——fourhoundsperfox——endedinfourearthsjustabovetheriver。Allthevillagelookedon。
\"Weforgotabouttheearths。Thebanksareriddledwith\'em。
This\'lldefeatus，\"saidtheInspector。
\"Waitamoment!\"TheGovernordrewforthasneezinghound。\"I\'vejustrememberedI\'mGovernoroftheseparts。\"
\"Thenturnoutablackbattaliontostopforus。We\'llneed\'em，oldman。\"
