\"Whatmakesitmoreremarkableisthattheladyisnotagamester，hasneverplayedbefore，andissaidtohavedeclaredthatsheshallneverplayagain。Itiscertainthat，withsuchaface，figure，andvoiceashers，sheneedneverseekforwealthatthegambling-table。MademoiselleKloskingisnowinnegotiationwithalltheprincipalcitiesoftheContinent。ButtheEnglishmanagers，weapprehend，willproveawkwardcompetitors。\"
WereItoreproducethenineotherparagraphs，itwouldbeaverycurious，instructive，andtediousspecimenofliterature；and，whoknows?
Imightcorruptsomeimmaculatesoul，inspiresomeactororactress，singerorsongstress，withanitchforpublicself-laudation，afoiblefromwhichtheyareallatpresentsofree。Witnessthe_Era，_the_Hornet，_and_Figaro。_
InaKloskingspottedwhatsheconceivedtobeadefectinthesehistories。\"Myfriend，\"saidshemeekly，\"thesumIwonwasunderfivethousandpounds。\"
\"Wasit?Yes，tobesure。But，yousee，theseareEnglishadvertisements。
NowEnglandissorichthatifyoukeepdowntoany_Continental_sum，yougiveafalseimpressioninEnglandoftheimportanceonthespot。\"
\"Andsowearetofalsifyfigures?Inthefirstoftheselegendsitwasdoublethetruth；and，asIread，itenlarges——oh，butitenlarges，\"saidIna，withaGallicismweshallhavetoforgiveinaladywhospokefivelanguages。
\"Madam，\"saidAshmead，dryly，\"youmustexpectyourcapitaltoincreaserapidly，solongasIconductit。\"
Notbeingherselfswifttoshedjokes，Inadidnottakethemrapidly。Shestaredathim。Henevermovedamuscle。Shegaveaslightshrugofhergrandshoulders，andresignedthatattempttoreasonwiththecreature。
Shehadapillinstoreforhim，though。Shetoldhimthat，asshehadsacrificedthelongingsofherhearttothepoorofthetheater，sosheshouldsacrificeaportionofherill-gottengainstothepoorofthetown。
Hemadeahideouslywryfaceatthat，askedwhatpoor-rateswerefor，andassuredherthat\"pauper\"meant\"drunkard。\"
\"ItisnotwrittensoinScripture，\"saidIna；\"andIneedtheirprayers，forIamveryunhappy。\"
Inshort，AshmeadwasdrivenoutfromthepresencechamberwithathousandthalerstodistributeamongthepoorofHomburg；and，onceinthestreet，hisfacedidnotshinelikeanangelofmercy\'s，butwasverypinchedandmorose；hardlyrecognizable——poorJoe!
By-and-byhescratchedhishead。Nowitisunaccountable，butcertainheadsoftenyieldanideainreturnforthat。Joseph\'sdid，andhiscountenancebrightened。
ThreedaysafterthisInawassurprisedbyanotefromtheburgomaster，sayingthatheandcertainofthetowncouncilwouldhavethehonorofcallingonheratnoon。
Whatmightthismean?
ShesenttoaskforMr。Ashmead；hewasnottobefound；hehadhiddenhimselftoocarefully。
Thedeputationcameandthankedherforhermunificentactofcharity。
Shelookedpuzzledatfirst，thenblushedtothetemples。\"Munificentact，gentlemen!Alas!Ididbutdirectmyagenttodistributeasmallsumamongthedeservingpoor。Hehasdoneveryilltocourtyourattention。
Mylittlecontributionshouldhavebeenasprivateasitisinsignificant。\"
\"Nay，madam，\"saidtheclerkofthecouncil，whowasarecognizedorator，\"youragentdidwelltoconsultourworthyburgomaster，whoknowsthepersonsmostinneedandmostdeserving。Wedonotdoubtthatyoulovetodogoodinsecret。Nevertheless，wehavealsooursenseofduty，andwethinkitrightthatsobenevolentanactshouldbepublished，asanexampletoothers。Inthesameview，weclaimtocommentpubliclyonyourgoodness。\"Thenhelookedtotheburgomaster，whotookhimup。
\"Andwecommentthus:Madam，sincetheMiddleAgesthefreedomofthistownhasnotbeenpossessedbyanyfemale。Thereis，however，nolawforbiddingit，andtherefore，madam，thecivicauthorities，whomI
represent，doherebypresenttoyouthefreedomofthisburgh。\"
Hethenhandedheranemblazonedvellumgivinghercitizenship，withthereasonswrittenplainlyingoldenletters。
InaKlosking，whohadremainedquitequietduringthespeeches，waitedamomentortwo，andthenreplied，withseemlygraceanddignity:
\"Mr。Burgomasterandgentlemen，youhavepaidmeagreatandunexpectedcompliment，andIthankyouforit。Butonethingmakesmeuneasy:itisthatIhavedonesolittletodeservethis。Iconsolemyself，however，byreflectingthatIamstillyoung，andmayhaveopportunitiestoshowmyselfgrateful，andeventodeserve，inthefuture，thishonor，whichatpresentoverpaysme，andalmostoppressesme。Onthatunderstanding，gentlemen，bepleasedtobestow，andletmereceive，therarecomplimentyouhavepaidmebyadmittingmetocitizenshipinyourdelightfultown。\"
(Toherself:)\"I\'llscoldhimwellforthis。\"
Lowcourtesy；profoundbows；exitdeputationenchantedwithher；_manet_
Kloskingwiththefreedomofthecityinherhandandingratitudeinherheart；forheroneideawastogetholdofMr。JosephAshmeaddirectlyandreproachhimseverelyforallthis，whichshejustlyascribedtohismachinations。
ThecunningAshmeaddivinedherproject，andkeptpersistentlyoutofherway。Thatdidnotsuitherneither。Shewaslonely。Shegavethewaiterafriendlylinetobringhimtoher。
Now，mindyou，shewastoohonesttopretendshewasnotgoingtoscoldhim。Sothisiswhatshewrote:
\"MYFRIEND——Haveyoudesertedme?Cometome，andberemonstrated。Whathaveyoutofear?Youknowsowellhowtodefendyourself。
INAKLOSKING。\"
ArrivedinaveryfewminutesMr。Ashamed，jaunty，cheerful，anddefensive。
Ina，withacountenancefromwhichalldiscontentwasartfullyextracted，laidbeforehim，inthefriendliestwayyoucanimagine，anEnglishBible。Itwasherfather\'s，andshealwayscarrieditwithher。\"Iwish，\"
saidshe，insidiously，\"toconsultyouonapassageortwoofthisbook。
Howdoyouunderstandthis:
\"\'Whenthoudoestthinealms，donotsendatrumpetbeforethee，asthehypocritesdo。\'
\"Andthis:
\"\'Whenthoudoestthinealms，letnotthyrighthandknowwhatthylefthanddoeth，thatthinealmsmaybeinsecret；andthyFather，whichseethinsecret，shallrewardtheeopenly。\'\"
Havingpointedoutthesesentenceswithherfinger，shelookedtohimforhisinterpretation。Joseph，thuserectedintoaScripturecommentator，lookedatthepassagesfirstnear，andthenafaroff，asifthetrueinterpretationdependedonperspective。Havingthusgainedalittletime，hesaid，\"Well，Ithinkthemeaningisclearenough。Wearetohideourownlightunderabushel。Butitdon\'tsayanagentistohidehisemployer\'s。\'
\"Beserious，sir。Thisisagreatauthority。\"
\"Oh，ofcourse，ofcourse。Still——ifyouwon\'tbeoffended，ma\'am——timesarechangedsincethen。Itwasaverysmallplace，wherenewsspreadofitself；andallthatcannotbewrittenfortheatricalagents，becausetherewasn\'toneincreation。\"
\"Andsonowtheirlittlecustoms，latelyinvented，likethemselves，aretoprevailagainstGod\'sim-mor-tallaw!\"ItwassomethinghalfwaybetweenHandelandmellowedthunderthewayhergrandcontraltosuddenlyrolledoutthesethreewords。Josephwascunning。Heputonacrushedappearance，deceivedbywhichthefirmbutgentleKloskingbegantosoftenhertonedirectly。
\"Ithasgivenmepain，\"saidshe，sorrowfully。\"AndIamafraidGodwillbeangrywithusbothforourostentation。\"
\"NotHe，\"saidJoseph，consolingly。\"Blessyourheart，Heisnothalfsoirritableastheparsonsfancy；theyconfoundHimwiththemselves。\"
Inaignoredthissuggestionwithperfectdignityandflowedon:\"AllI
stipulatenowisthatImaynotseethispitiableparadeinprint。\"
\"Thatispastprayingfor，then，\"saidAshmead，resolutely。\"Youmightaswelltrytostopthewavesascheckpublicity——inourday。Yourmunificencetothepoor——confoundthelazylot!——andthegratitudeofthosepompousprigs，thedeputation——thepresentation——youradmirablereply——\"
\"Youneverheardit，now——\"
\"Which，asyousay，Iwasnotsofortunateastohear，andsomustcontentmyselfwithdescribingit——allthisisflyingnorth，south，east，andwest。\"
\"Ohno，no，no!Youhavenot_advertised_it?\"
\"Notadvertisedit!Forwhatdoyoutakeme?WaittillyouseethebillI
amrunningupagainstyou。Madam，youmusttakepeopleastheyare。Don\'ttrytoun-Ashmead_me；_itisimpossible。Catchupthatknifeandkillme。I\'llnotresist；onthecontrary，I\'llsitdownandprepareanobituarynoticefortheweeklies，andsayIdidit。BUTWHILEIBREATHEI
ADVERTISE。\"
AndJosephwasdefiant；andtheKloskingshruggedhernobleshoulders，andsaid，\"Youbestofcreatures，youareincurable。\"
Tofollowthisincidenttoitsconclusion，notaweekafterthisscene，InaKloskingdetected，inanEnglishpaper，\"ACHARITABLEACT。
\"MademoiselleKlosking，thegreatcontralto，havingwonalargesumofmoneyattheKursaal，hasgivenathousandpoundstothepooroftheplace。Thecivicauthoritieshearingofthis，anddesiroustomarktheirsenseofsonobleadonation，havepresentedherwiththefreedomoftheburgh，writtenonvellumandgold。MademoiselleKloskingreceivedthecomplimentwithcharminggraceandcourtesy；buthermodestyissaidtohavebeenmuchdistressedatthepublicityherebygiventoanactshewishedtobeknownonlytothepersonsrelievedbyhercharity。\"
Inacaughttheculpritandshowedhimthis。\"Athousandpounds!\"saidshe。\"Areyounotashamed?Waseveraniggardlyactsoembellishedandexaggerated?Ifeelmyfaceveryred，sir。\"
\"Oh，I\'llexplainthatinamoment，\"saidJoseph，amicably。\"Eachnationhasacoinitisalwaysquoting。Francecountsinfrancs，Germanyinthalers，Americaindollars，Englandinpounds。WhenathingcostsamillionfrancsinFrance，oramilliondollarsintheStates，thatisalwayscalledamillionpoundsintheEnglishjournals:otherwiseitwouldconveynodistinctideaatalltoanEnglishman。Turningthalersandfrancsintopounds——_that_isnot_exaggeration；_itisonly_translation。\"_
Inagavehimsuchalook。Herepliedwithanunabashedsmile。
Sheshruggedhershouldersinsilencethistime，and，tothebestofmybelief，madenomoreseriousattemptstoun-AshmeadherAshmead。
Amonthhadnowpassed，andthatwasalittlemorethanhalfthedrearytimeshehadtowadethrough。Shebegantocountthedays，andthatmadeherpineallthemore。Timeislikeakettle。Beblindtohim，heflies；
watchhim，helags。Hersweettemperwasalittleaffected，andsheevenreproachedAshmeadforholdingheroutfalsehopesthathisadvertisementsofhergainswouldinduceSevernetocometoher，orevenwrite。\"No，\"saidshe；\"theremustbesomegreaterattraction。KarlsaysthatMissVizard，whocalleduponme，wasabeauty，anddark。PerhapsshewasthelovelygirlIsawattheopera。Shehasneverbeentheresince:
andheisgonetoEnglandwithpeopleofthatname。\"
\"Well，butthatMissVizardcalledonyou。Shecan\'tintendtostealhimfromyou。\"
\"Butshemaynotknow；awomanmayinjureanotherwithoutintending。Hemaydeceiveher；hehasbetrayedme。Herextraordinarybeautyterrifiesme。Itenchantedme；andhowmuchmoreaman?\"
Josephsaidhethoughtthiswasallfancy；andasforhisadvertisements，itwastooearlyyettopronounceontheireffect。
Theverydayafterthisconversationhebouncedintoherroomingreatdudgeon。\"There，madam!theadvertisements_have_producedaneffect；andnotapleasantone。Here\'sadetectiveontous。HeisfeelinghiswaywithKarl。Iknewthemaninamoment；callshimselfPoikilusinprint，andSmithtotalkto；butheisAaronatthebottomofitall，andcanspeakseverallanguages。Confoundtheirimpudence!puttingadetectiveonto_us，_whenitistheythatarekeepingdark。\"
\"Whodoyouthinkhassenthim?\"askedIna，intently。
\"Thepartyinterested，Isuppose。\"
\"Interestedinwhat?\"
\"Why，inthemoneyyouwon；forhewasdrawingKarlaboutthat。\"
\"Then_he_senttheman!\"AndInabegantopantandchangecolor。
\"Well，nowyouputittome，Ithinkso。Cometolookatit，itiscertain。Whoelse_could_itbe?Hereisabraceofsweeps。Theywouldn\'tbetheworseforagoodkicking。Yousaytheword，andSmithshallhaveone，atallevents。\"
\"Alas!myfriend，\"saidIna，\"foronceyouareslow。What!amessengercomesheredirectfrom_him；_andarewesodullwecanlearnnothingfromhimwhocomestoquestionus?Letmethink。\"
Sheleanedherforeheadonherwhitehand，andherfaceseemedslowlytofillwithintellectualpower。
\"Thatman，\"saidsheatlast，\"istheonlylinkbetweenhimandme。I
mustspeaktohim。\"
Thenshethoughtagain。
\"No，notyet。Hemustbedetainedinthehouse。Lettersmaycometohim，andtheirpostmarksmaygiveussomeclew。\"
\"I\'llrecommendthehousetohim。\"
\"Oh，thatisnotnecessary。Hewilllodgehereofhisownaccord。Doesheknowyou?\"
\"Ithinknot。\"
\"Donotgivehimtheleastsuspicionthatyouknowheisadetective。\"
\"Allright，Iwon\'t。\"
\"Ifhesoundsyouaboutthemoney，saynobodyknowsmuchaboutit，exceptMademoiselleKlosking。Ifyoucangetthemattersofar，comeandtellme。Butbe_you_veryreserved，foryouarenotclear。\"
Ashmeadreceivedtheseinstructionsmeekly，andwentintothe_salle\'amanger_andordereddinner。Smithwasthere，andhadevidentlygotsomeinformationfromKarl，forheopenedaneasyconversationwithAshmead，anditendedintheirdiningtogether。
Smithplayedtheopen-handedcountrymantothelife——stoodchampagne。
Ashmeadchattered，andseemedquiteoffhisguard。Smithapproachedthesubjectcautiously。\"Gamblehereasmuchasever?\"
\"Allday，someofthem。\"
\"Ladiesandall?\"
\"Why，theladiesaretheworst。\"
\"No；aretheynow?Ah，thatremindsme。Iheardtherewasaladyinthisveryhousewonapoto\'money。\"
\"Itistrue。Iamheragent。\"
\"Isupposeshelostitallnextday?\"
\"Well，notall，forshegaveathousandpoundstothepoor。\"
\"Thedressmakerscollaredtherest?\"
\"Icannotsay。Ihavenothingtodoexceptwithhertheatricalbusiness。
Shewillmakemorebythatthansheevermadeatplay。\"
\"What，isshetip-top?\"
\"ThemostrisingsingerinEurope。\"
\"Ishouldliketoseeher。\"
\"Thatyoucaneasilydo。Shesingstonight。I\'llpassyouin。\"
\"Youareagoodfellow。Haveabitofsupperwithmeafterward。Bottleoffizz。\"
Thesetwomightbecomparedtoacoupleofspiders，eachtakingtheotherforafly。SmithwasenchantedwithIna\'ssinging，orpretended。Ashmeadwasdelightedwithhim，orpretended。
\"Introducemetoher，\"saidSmith。
\"Idarenotdothat。Youarenotprofessional，areyou?\"
\"No，butyoucansayIam，foralark。\"
Ashmeadsaidheshouldliketo；butitwouldnotdo，unlesshewasverywary。
\"Oh，I\'mfly，\"saidtheother。\"Shewon\'tgetanythingoutofme。I\'vebeenbehindthescenesoftenenough。\"
ThenAshmeadsaidhewouldgoandaskherifhemightpresentaLondonmanagertoher。
Hesoonbroughtbacktheanswer。\"Sheistootiredto-night:butI
pressedher，andshesaysshewillbecharmedifyouwillbreakfastwithherto-morrowateleven。\"Hedidnotsaythathewastobewithherathalf-pasttenforspecialinstructions。Theywereverysimple。\"Myfriend，\"saidshe，\"Imeantotellthismansomethingwhichhewillthinkithisdutytotelegraphorwriteto_him_immediately。ItwasforthisI
wouldnothavethemantosupper，beingafterpost-time。Thismorningheshalleitherwriteortelegraph，andthen，ifyouareascleverinthisasyouareinsomethings，youwillwatchhim，andfindouttheaddresshesendsto。\"
Ashmeadlistenedveryattentively，andfellintoabrownstudy。
\"Madam，\"saidheatlast，\"thisisafirst-ratecombination。YoumakehimcommunicatewithEngland，andIwilldotherest。Ifhetelegraphs，I\'llbeathisheels。Ifhegoestothepost，Iknowaway。Ifhepostsinthehouse，hemakesittooeasy。\"
AtelevenAshmeadintroducedhisfriend\"Sharpus，managerofDruryLaneTheater，\"andwatchedthefencingmatchwithsomeanxiety，Inabeinglittleversedinguile。Butshehadtactandself-possession；andshewasnotanangel，afterall，butawomanwhosewitsweresharpenedbyloveandsuffering。
Sharpus，aliasSmith，playedhisassumedcharactertoperfection。HegavetheKloskingmanyincidentsofbusinessandprofessionalanecdotes，andwasexcellentcompany。TheKloskingwasgracious，andmore_bonneenfant_
thanAshmeadhadeverseenher。Itwasafinematchbetweenherandthedetective。Atlasthemadehisapproaches。
\"AndIhearwearetocongratulateyouonsuccessat_rougeetnoir_aswellasopera。Isittruethatyoubrokethebank?\"
\"Perfectly，\"wasthefrankreply。
\"Andwonamillion?\"
\"Moreorless，\"saidtheKlosking，withanopensmile。
\"Ihopeitwasagoodlump，forourcountrymenleavehundredsofthousandshereeveryseason。\"
\"Itwasfourthousandninehundredpounds，sir。\"
\"Phew!Well，Iwishithadbeendouble。Youarenotsocloseasourfriendhere，madam。\"
\"No，sir；andshallItellyouwhy?\"
\"Ifyoulike，madam，\"saidSmith，withassumedindifference。
\"Mr。Ashmeadisamodelagent；heneverallowshimselftoseeanybody\'sinterestsbutmine。Nowthetruthis，anotherpersonhasaninterestinmyfamouswinnings。Agentlemanhanded25poundstoMr。Ashmeadtoplaywith。Hedidnotdoso；butIcameinandjoined25poundsofmyowntothat25pounds，andwonanenormoussum。Ofcourse，ifthegentlemanchoosestobechivalrousandabandonhisclaim，hecan；butthatisnotthewayoftheworld，youknow。Ifeelsurehewillcometomeforhissharesomeday；andthesoonerthebetter，formoneyburnsthepocket。\"
Sharpus，aliasSmith，saidthiswasreallyacuriousstory。\"Nowsuppose，\"saidhe，\"somefinedayaletterwastocomeaskingyoutoremitthatgentlemanhishalf，whatshouldyoudo?\"
\"Ishoulddecline；itmightbean_escroc。_No。Mr。Ashmeadhereknowsthegentleman。Doyounot?\"
\"I\'llsweartohimanywhere。\"
\"ThentoreceivehismoneyhemustfacetheeyeofAshmead。Ha!ha!\"
Thedetectiveturnedtheconversation，andnevercamebacktothesubject；butshortlyhepleadedanengagement，andtookhisleave。
Ashmeadlingeredbehind，butInahurriedhimoff，withanemphaticcommandnottoleavethismanoutofhissightamoment。
Heviolatedthisorder，forinfiveminutesheranbacktotellher，inanagitatedwhisper，thatSmithwas，atthatmoment，writingaletterinthe_salle\'amanger。_
\"Oh，praydon\'tcomehere!\"criedIna，indespair。\"Donotlosesightofhimforamoment。\"
\"Givemethatlettertopost，then，\"saidAshmead，andsnatchedoneupInahaddirectedovernight。
Hewenttothehoteldoor，andlightedacigar；outcameSmithwithaletterinhisveryhand。Ashmeadpeeredwithallhiseyes；butSmithheldtheletterverticallyinhishandandtheaddressinward。Theletterwassealed。
Ashmeadwatchedhim，andsawhewasgoingtotheGeneralPost。Heknewashortercut，ran，andtookit，andlayinwait。AsSmithapproachedthebox，letterinhand，hebustledupinafurioushurry，andpostedhisownlettersoastostopSmith\'shandattheveryaperturebeforehecouldinserthisletter。Hesaw，apologized，anddrewback。Smithlaughed，andsaid，\"Allright，oldman。Thatistoyoursweetheart，oryouwouldn\'tbeinsuchahurry。\"
\"No；itwastomygrandmother，\"saidAshmead。
\"Goon，\"saidSmith，andpokedtheribsofJoseph。Theywenthomejocular；butthedetectivewasnosooneroutofthewaythanAshmeadstoleuptoInaKlosking，andputhisfingertohislips；forKarlwasclearingaway，andinnohurry。
Theysatontenter-hooksandthoughtheneverwouldgo。Hedidgoatlast，andthentheKloskingandAshmeadcametogetherliketwomagnets。
\"Well?\"
\"Allright!Lettertopost。Sawaddressquiteplain——EdwardSeverne，Esq。\"
\"Yes。\"
\"VizardCourt。\"
\"Ah!\"
\"Taddington——Barfordshire——England。\"
Ina，whowasstandingallonfire，nowsatdownandinterlacedherhands。
\"Vizard!\"saidshe，gloomily。
\"Yes；VizardCourt，\"saidAshmead，triumphantly；\"thatmeansheisalargelandedproprietor，andyouwilleasilyfindhimifheisthereinamonth。\"
\"Hewillbethere，\"saidIna。\"Sheisverybeautiful。Sheisdark，too，andheloveschange。Oh，iftoallIhavesufferedheadds_that_——\"
\"Thenyouwillforgivehim_that，\"_saidAshmead，shakinghishead。
\"Never。Lookatme，JosephAshmead。\"
Helookedatherwithsomeawe，forsheseemedtransformed，andherDanisheyegleamedstrangely。
\"Youwhohaveseenmytormentsandmyfidelity，markwhatIsay:Ifheisfalsetomewithanotherwoman，Ishallkillhim——orelseIshallhatehim。\"
Shetookherdeskandwrote，atAshmead\'sdictation，\"VizardCourt，Taddington，Barfordshire。\"
CHAPTERXIX。
THEnextmorningVizardcarriedLordUxmoorawaytoamagistrates\'
meeting，andlefttheroadcleartoSeverne；butZoegavehimnoopportunityuntiljustbeforeluncheon，andthensheputonherbonnetandcamedownstairs；butFannywaswithher。
Severne，whowasseatedpatientlyinhisbedroomwiththedoorajar，cameouttojointhem，feelingsureFannywouldopenlysidewithhim，orslipawayandgivehimhisopportunity。
But，astheyoungladiesstoodonthebroadflightofstepsatthehalldoor，anantiquefiguredrewnigh——anoldlady，theshapeofanegg，soshortandstoutwasshe。Onherheadsheworeablacksilkbonnetconstructedmanyyearsago，withadrolldesign，viz。，tokeepoffsun，rain，andwind；itwaslikeanironcoalscuttle，slightlyshortened；yethaveIseensomeveryprettyfacesveryprettilyframedinsuchabonnet。
Shehadanoldblacksilkgownthatonlyreachedtoherankle，andoveritascarletcloakofsuperfinecloth，fineasanycolonelorqueen\'soutridereverwore，andlookingsplendid，thoughshehaduseditfortyyears，atoddtimes。Thisdamehadescapedthevillageill，rheumatics，andcouldtoddlealongwithoutastaffatagreat，andindeedafearful，pace；for，owingtoherbuild，sheyawedsofromsidetosideateverystepthat，tothemwhoknewhernot，acapsizeappearedinevitable。
\"Mrs。Judge，Ideclare，\"criedZoe。
\"Ay，MissHannahJudgeitis。Yoursarvant，ma\'am；\"andshedroppedtwocourtesies，oneforeachlady。
Mrs。JudgewasHarrington\'soldnurse。Zoeoftenpaidavisittohercottage，butshenevercametoVizardCourtexceptonHarrington\'sbirthday，whentheservantsentertainedalltheoldpensionersandretainersatsupper。Hersuddenappearance，therefore，andingalacostume，astonishedZoe。Probablyherfacebetrayedthis，fortheoldladybegan，\"Youwondertoseemehere，now，doan\'tye?\"
\"Well，Mrs。Judge，\"saidZoe，diplomatically，\"nobodyhasabetterrighttocome。\"
\"Youbeverygood，miss。Idon\'tdoubtmywelcomenohow。\"
\"But，\"saidZoe，playfully，\"youseldomdousthehonor；soI_am_alittlesurprised。WhatcanIdoforyou?\"
\"Youdoesenoughforme，miss，youandyoungsquire。Ibain\'tcometoasknofavors。Iain\'toneo\'thatsort。I\'lltellyewhyIbecome。\'Tistowarnyoualluphere。\"
\"Thisisalarming，\"saidZoetoFanny。
\"Thatisasmaybe，\"saidMrs。Judge；\"forwarned，forearmed，theby-wordsayeth。Thereisayoung\'omana-prowlingaboutthishereparishasdon\'tbelongto_hus。\"_
\"La，\"saidFanny，\"mustn\'twevisityourparishifwewerenotbornthere?\"
\"Don\'tyoutakemeupbeforeIbedown，miss，\"saidtheoldnurse，alittleseverely。\"\'Tain\'tforthelikesofyouIspeak，whichyouarealady，andvisitstheCourtbypermissionofsquire；butwhatIobjectstois——hinterlopers。\"Shepausedtoseetheeffectofsobigaword，andthenresumed，graciously，\"Yousee，mostofourhillscomesfromthatthereHillstoke。Ifthere\'sapoacher，orathief，heisHillstoke；theyharborsthegypsiesasravagethewholecountry，mostly；andnowtheyhaveletloosethishereyoung\'omanontous。SheisaPOLLPRY:goesaboutthetowna-sarching:priesintotheirhousenandtheirvittels，andtheirverybeds。OldMarkshavegotamuck-heapathisdoorforhisgarden，yeknow。Well，miss，shesticksherparasoleintothishere，andturnsitabout，asifshewasagoingtospreadit:saysshe，\'Imustknowthede-com-po-si-tionofthis\'ere，asyoukeepsunderthenosesofyouryoungfolk。\'Well，Iseedheragoingherrounds，andthefolkhadtoldmeherways；soIdidsetmedowntomyknittingandwaitforher，andwhenshecametomeIofferedheraseat；soshesatdown，andsaysshe\'Thisistheonecleanhouseinthevillage，\'saysshe:\'youmighteatyourdinneroffthefloor，letalonethechairsandtables。\'\'Youareverygood，miss，\'saysI。Saysshe，\'Iwonderwhetherupstairsisasniceasthis?\'\'Well，\'saysI，\'themaskeepitdownstairskeepsithup；Idon\'tdropcleanlinessonthestairs，youmaybesure。\'\'Isupposenot，\'saysshe，\'butIshouldliketosee。\'ThatwaswhatIwasa-waitingfor，youknow，soIsaidtoher，\'Curiositydobreedcuriosity，\'saysI。\'AforeyousarchesthisherehousefromtoptobottomIshouldliketoseethewarrant。\'\'Whatwarrant?\'saysshe。\'I\'venowarrant。Don\'ttakemeforanenemy，\'saysshe。\'I\'myourbestfriend，\'saysshe。\'I\'mthenewdoctor。\'ItoldherIhadheardawhisperofthattoo；butwehadgotaparishdoctoralready，andonewasenough。\'Notwhenhenevercomesanighyou，\'saysshe，\'andletsyougohalfwaytomeetyourdiseases。\'\'I
don\'tknowforthat，\'saysI，andindeedIhaan\'tanotionwhatshemeant，formypart；butsaysI，\'Idon\'twantnowomenfolktocomeherea-doctoringo\'me，that\'ssartin。\'Soshesaid，\'Butsupposeyouwereveryill，andthehe-doctorthreemilesoff，andfiftyotherstovisitaforeyou?\'\'Thatisnoodds，\'saysI；\'Iwouldnotbedoctoredbyawoman。\'Thenshesaystome，saysshe，\'Nowyoulookmeintheface。\'\'I
candothat，\'saysI；\'you，oranybodyelse。I\'manhonestwoman，_I_
am；\'soIupandlookedherinthefaceasboldasbrass。\'Then，\'saysshe，\'amItounderstandthat，ifyouwastobeillto-morrow，youwouldratherdiethanbedoctoredbyawoman?\'Shethoughttodaantme，yousee，soIsays，\'Well，Idon\'tknowasIoodn\'t。\'Youdolaugh，miss。
Well，thatiswhatshedid。\'Allright，\'saysshe。\'Makehasteanddie，mygoodsoul，\'saysshe，\'for，whileyoulive，you\'llbeahobelisktoreform。\'Soshewentoff，butImadetothedoor，andcalledafterherI
shoulddiewhenGodpleased，andIhadseenagoodmanyyoungfolklaidout，thatlookedasliketomakeoldbonesasevershedoes——chalk-faced——skinny——to-a-d!AndIcalledafterhershewasnolady。Nomoresheain\'t，tocomeintomyownhouseandcalladecentwoman\'ahobelisk!\'Oh!oh!WhichInever_was，_noteveninmygiddydays，butdidworkhardinmyyouth，andamrespectformyoldage。\"
\"Yes，nurse，yes；whodoubtsit?\"
\"Andnursedyoungsquire，and，Lordblessyourheart，awasapoorpunychildwhenItookhimtomybreast，andinsixmonthsthefinest，chubbiestboyinalltheparish；andhisdry-nurseforyearsarter，andalwaysathisheelsa-keepinghimoutofthestableandtheponds，andconsortingwiththevillageboys；andaproperresolutechildhewas，andhardtomanage:andmyownmanthatisgone，andmyson\'that\'snotsocleverassome，\'*Ialwaysdonejusticebythemboth，andarteralltobecalledahobelisk——oh!oh!oh!\"
*Paraphraseforthenounsubstantive\"idiot。\"ItisalsoaspecimenoftheGreekfigure\"litotes。\"
ThenbeholdthegentleZoewithherarmroundnurse\'sneck，andherhandkerchieftonurse\'seyes，murmuring，\"There——there——don\'tcry，nurse；
everybodyesteemsyou，andthatladydidnotmeantoaffrontyou；shedidnotsay\'obelisk；\'shesaid\'obstacle。\'Thatonlymeansthatyoustandinthewayofherimprovements；therewasnotmuchharminthat，youknow。
And，nurse，pleasegivethatladyherway，toobligeme；foritisbymybrother\'sinvitationsheishere。\"
\"Yedoan\'tsayso!What，doesheholdwithfemaleshe-doctoresses?\"
\"Hewishesto_try_one。Shehashisauthority。\"
\"Yedoan\'tsayso!\"
\"IndeedIdo。\"
\"Con——sarnthewench!whycouldn\'tshesaysso，\'steado\'hargefying?\"
\"Sheisastranger，andmeanswell；soshedidnotthinkitnecessary。
Youmusttakemywordforit。\"
\"La，miss，I\'lltakeyour\'nbeforehers，you_may_besure，\"saidMrs。
Judge，withadecidedremnantofhostility。
Andnowaproverbialincidenthappened。MissRhodaGalecameinsight，andwalkedrapidlyintothegroup。
Aftergreetingtheladies，andignoringSeverne，whotookoffhishattoher，withdeeprespect，inthebackground，sheturnedtoMrs。Judge。
\"Well，oldlady，\"saidshecheerfully，\"andhowdoyoudo?\"
Mrs。Judgereplied，infawningaccents，\"Thankyou，miss，Ibewellenoughtogetabout。Iwasa-telling\'emaboutyou——and，tobesure，itisuncommongoodofaladylikeyoutotroublesomuchaboutpoorfolk。\"
\"Don\'tmentionit；itismydutyandmyinclination。Yousee，mygoodwoman，itisnotsoeasytocurediseasesaspeoplethink；thereforeitisapartofmedicinetopreventthem:andtopreventthemyoumustremovethepredisposingcauses，andtofindoutallthosecausesyoumusthaveeyes，andusethem。\"
\"Youareright，miss，\"saidLaJudge，obsequiously。\"Preventionisbetternorcure，andtheysay\'astitchintimesavesnine。\'\"
\"Thatiscapitalgoodsense，Mrs。Judge；andpraytellthevillagersthat，andmakethemasfullof\'thewisdomofnations\'asyouseemtobe，andtheirhousesasclean——ifyoucan。\"
\"I\'lldomybest，miss，\"saidMrs。Judge，obsequiously；\"itistheleastwecanalldoforayoungladylikeyouthatleavesthepompsandvanities，andgiveshermindtobetteringthecondishingofpoorfolk。\"
Havingoncetakenthiscueandentereduponaveinofflattery，shewouldhavebeenextremelyvoluble——forvillagescanviewithcitiesinadulationaswellasindetraction——butshewasinterruptedbyafootmanannouncingluncheon。
ZoehandedMrs。Judgeovertothemanwitharequestthathewouldbekindtoher，andhavehertodinewiththeservants。
Yellowplushsawthegentlefolksaway，andthen，partinghislegs，andputtinghisthumbsintohiswaistcoatpockets，deliveredhimselfthus:
\"Well，oldgirl，amItogiveyoumyharmroundtothekitchen，ordoyouknowthewaybyyourself?\"
\"Youngchap，\"saidMrs。Judge，andturnedaglitteringeye，\"Ididknowthewayaforeyouwasborn，andIshouldknowitalloneifsobeyouwastobehung，orsenttoBotanyBay——tolarnmanners。\"
Havingdeliveredthisshot，sherolledawayinthedirectionofRoastBeef。
ThelittlepartyhadhardlysettledatthetablewhentheywerejoinedbyVizardandUxmoor:bothgentlemenwelcomedMissGalemoreheartilythantheladieshaddone，andbeforeluncheonendedVizardaskedherifherreportwasready。Shesaiditwas。
\"Haveyougotitwithyou?\"
\"Yes。\"
\"Thenpleasehandittome。\"
\"Oh!itisinmyhead。Idon\'twritemuchdown；thatweakensthememory。
Ifyouwouldgivemehalfanhourafterluncheon——\"Shehesitatedalittle。
Zoejealouseda_te\'te-\'a-te\'te，_andparrieditskillfully。\"Oh，\"saidshe，\"butweareallmuchinterested:arenotyou，LordUxmoor?\"
\"IndeedIam，\"saidUxmoor。
\"SoamI，\"saidFanny，whodidn\'tcareabutton。
\"Yes，but，\"saidRhoda，\"truthsarenotalwaysagreeable，andtherearesomethatIdon\'tlike——\"Shehesitatedagain，andthistimeactuallyblushedalittle。
TheacuteMr。Severne，whohadbeenwatchingherslyly，cametoherassistance。
\"Lookhere，oldfellow，\"saidhetoVizard，\"don\'tyouseethatMissGalehasdiscoveredsomespotsinyourparadise?but，outofdelicacy，doesnotwanttopublishthem，buttoconfidethemtoyourownear。Thenyoucanmendthemornot。\"
MissGaleturnedhereyesfullonSeverne。\"Youareverykeenatreadingpeople，sir，\"saidshe，dryly。
\"Ofcourseheis，\"saidVizard。\"Hehasgivengreatattentiontoyoursex。Well，ifthatisall，MissGale，prayspeakoutandgratifytheircuriosity。YouandIshallneverquarreloverthetruth。\"
\"I\'mnotsosureofthat，\"saidMissGale。\"However，IsupposeImustriskit。Ineverdogetmyownway；that\'safact。\"
Afterthislittleebullitionofspleen，sheopenedherbudget。\"Firstofall，Ifindthatthesevillagesallbelongtooneperson；sodoesthesoil。Nobodycanbuildcottagesonabettermodel，normakeanyotherimprovement。Youareanabsolutemonarch。ThisisapieceofRussia，notEngland。Theyareallserfs，andyouaretheczar。\"
\"Itistrue，\"saidVizard，\"anditsoundshorrid，butitworksbenignly。
Everysnobwhocangrindthepoordoesgrindthem；butagentlemannever，andhehindersothers。Now，forinstance，anEnglishfarmerisgenerallyatyrant；butmypowerlimitshistyranny。Hemaydischargehislaborer，buthecan\'tdrivehimoutofthevillage，norrobhimofparishrelief，forpoorHodgeis_my_tenant，notasnob\'s。NobodycanbuildabeershopinIslip。Thatistrue。Butiftheycould，theywouldsellbadbeer，givecreditintheardorofcompetition，poisonthevillagers，anddemoralizethem。Believeme，republicaninstitutionsarebeautifulonpaper；buttheywouldnotworkwellinBarfordshirevillages。However，youprofesstogobyexperienceineverything。Thereareopenvillageswithinfivemiles。I\'llgiveyoualist。Visitthem。Youwillfindthatlibertycanbethefatheroftyranny。Pettytradesmenhavecomeinandbuiltcottages，andgroundthepoordownwithrentsunknowninIslip；farmershavebuiltcottages，andturnedtheirlaborersintoslaves。Drunkenness，dissipation，poverty，disaffection，andmisery——thatiswhatyouwillfindintheopenvillages。Now，inIslipyouhaveanomnipotentsquire，andthatisanabominationintheory，amediaevalmonster，ablotonmoderncivilization；butpracticallythepoormonsterisasoftenerofpoverty，anincarnatebufferbetweenthepoorandtyranny，thepoorandmisery。\"
\"I\'llinspecttheopenvillages，andsuspendmyopiniontillthen，\"saidMissGale，heartily；\"but，inthemeantime，youmustadmitthatwherethereisgreatpowerthereisgreatresponsibility。\"
\"Oh，ofcourse。\"
\"Well，then，yourlittleoutlyingprovinceofHillstokeisfullofrheumaticadultsandputty-facedchildren。Thetwophenomenaarisefromonecause——thewater。Nolimeinit，andtoomanyreptiles。Itwasthechildrengavemetheclew。Isuspectedthecherrystonesatfirst:butwhenIcametolookintoit，Ifoundtheyeatjustasmanycherrystonesinthevalley，andareasrosyasapples；but，then，thereiswellwaterinthevalleys。SoIputthisandthattogether，andIexaminedthewatertheydrinkatHillstoke。Sir，itisfullofanimalcula。Someofthesecannotwithstandtheheatofthehumanstomach；butotherscan，forI
triedtheminmudartificiallyheated。[AgigglefromFannyDover。]
Thankstoyourmicroscope，Ihavemadesketchesofseveralamphibiawholiveinthoseboys\'stomachs，andirritatetheirmembranes，andsharetheirscantynourishment，besidesotherinjuries。\"Thereuponsheproducedsomedrawings。
Theywerehandedround，andstruckterroringentlebosoms。\"Oh，gracious!\"criedFanny，\"oneoughttodrinknothingbutchampagne。\"
