第16章

TheAlpinelitterissometimeslikeacushionedboxmadefastbetweenthemiddlesoftwolongpoles，andsometimesitisachairwithabacktoitandasupportforthefeet。Itiscarriedbyrelaysofstrongporters。 Themotioniseasierthanthatofanyotherconveyance。 Wemetafewmenandagreatmanyladiesinlitters； itseemedtomethatmostoftheladieslookedpaleandnauseated；theirgeneralaspectgavemetheideathattheywerepatientlyenduringahorriblesuffering。 Asarule，theylookedattheirlaps，andleftthescenerytotakecareofitself。 ButthemostfrightenedcreatureIsaw，wasaledhorsethatovertookus。Poorfellow，hehadbeenbornandrearedinthegrassylevelsoftheKanderstegvalleyandhadneverseenanythinglikethishideousplacebefore。 Everyfewstepshewouldstopshort，glancewildlyoutfromthedizzyheight，andthenspreadhisrednostrilswideandpantasviolentlyasifhehadbeenrunningarace； andallthewhilehequakedfromheadtoheelaswithapalsy。Hewasahandsomefellow，andhemadeafinestatuesquepictureofterror，butitwaspitifultoseehimsufferso。 Thisdreadfulpathhashaditstragedy。Baedeker，withhiscustomaryoverterseness，beginsandendsthetalethus: \"Thedescentonhorsebackshouldbeavoided。 In1861aComtessed\'Herlincourtfellfromhersaddleovertheprecipiceandwaskilledonthespot。\" Welookedovertheprecipicethere，andsawthemonumentwhichcommemoratestheevent。Itstandsinthebottomofthegorge，inaplacewhichhasbeenhollowedoutoftherocktoprotectitfromthetorrentandthestorms。 Ouroldguideneverspokebutwhenspokento，andthenlimitedhimselftoasyllableortwo，butwhenweaskedhimaboutthistragedyheshowedastronginterestinthematter。HesaidtheCountesswasverypretty，andveryyoung——hardlyoutofhergirlhood，infact。 Shewasnewlymarried，andwasonherbridaltour。 Theyounghusbandwasridingalittleinadvance；oneguidewasleadingthehusband\'shorse，anotherwasleadingthebride\'s。 Theoldmancontinued: \"Theguidethatwasleadingthehusband\'shorsehappenedtoglanceback，andtherewasthatpooryoungthingsittingupstaringoutovertheprecipice；andherfacebegantobenddownwardalittle，andsheputuphertwohandsslowlyandmetit——so，——andputthemflatagainsthereyes——so——andthenshesankoutofthesaddle，withasharpshriek，andonecaughtonlytheflashofadress，anditwasallover。\" Thenafterapause: \"Ah，yes，thatguidesawthesethings——yes，hesawthemall。 Hesawthemall，justasIhavetoldyou。\" Afteranotherpause: \"Ah，yes，hesawthemall。MyGod，thatwasME。 Iwasthatguide!\" Thishadbeentheoneeventoftheoldman\'slife；soonemaybesurehehadforgottennodetailconnectedwithit。 Welistenedtoallhehadtosayaboutwhatwasdoneandwhathappenedandwhatwassaidafterthesorrowfuloccurrence，andapainfulstoryitwas。 Whenwehadwounddowntowardthevalleyuntilwewereaboutonthelastspiralofthecorkscrew，Harris\'shatblewoverthelastremainingbitofprecipice——asmallcliffahundredorhundredandfiftyfeethigh——andsaileddowntowardasteepslantcomposedofroughchipsandfragmentswhichtheweatherhadflakedawayfromtheprecipices。 Wewentleisurelydownthere，expectingtofinditwithoutanytrouble，butwehadmadeamistake，astothat。 Wehuntedduringacoupleofhours——notbecausetheoldstrawhatwasvaluable，butoutofcuriositytofindouthowsuchathingcouldmanagetoconcealitselfinopengroundwheretherewasnothingleftforittohidebehind。 Whenoneisreadinginbed，andlayshispaper-knifedown，hecannotfinditagainifitissmallerthanasaber； thathatwasasstubbornasanypaper-knifecouldhavebeen，andwefinallyhadtogiveitup；butwefoundafragmentthathadoncebelongedtoanopera-glass，andbydiggingaroundandturningovertherockswegraduallycollectedallthelensesandthecylindersandthevariousoddsandendsthatgotomakingupacompleteopera-glass。 Weafterwardhadthethingreconstructed，andtheownercanhavehisadventurouslost-propertybysubmittingproofsandpayingcostsofrehabilitation。Wehadhopesoffindingtheownerthere，distributedaroundamongsttherocks，foritwouldhavemadeanelegantparagraph； butweweredisappointed。Still，wewerefarfrombeingdisheartened，fortherewasaconsiderableareawhichwehadnotthoroughlysearched；weweresatisfiedhewasthere，somewhere，soweresolvedtowaitoveradayatLeukandcomebackandgethim。 Thenwesatdowntopolishofftheperspirationandarrangeaboutwhatwewoulddowithhimwhenwegothim。 HarriswasforcontributinghimtotheBritishMuseum； butIwasformailinghimtohiswidow。ThatisthedifferencebetweenHarrisandme:Harrisisallfordisplay，Iamallforthesimpleright，eventhoughIlosemoneybyit。 Harrisarguedinfavorofhispropositionagainstmine，Iarguedinfavorofmineandagainsthis。Thediscussionwarmedintoadispute；thedisputewarmedintoaquarrel。 Ifinallysaid，verydecidedly: \"Mymindismadeup。Hegoestothewidow。\" Harrisansweredsharply: \"AndMYmindismadeup。HegoestotheMuseum。\" Isaid，calmly: \"Themuseummaywhistlewhenitgetshim。\" Harrisretorted: \"Thewidowmaysaveherselfthetroubleofwhistling，forIwillseethatshenevergetshim。\" Aftersomeangrybandyingofepithets，Isaid: \"Itseemstomethatyouaretakingonagoodmanyairsabouttheseremains。Idon\'tquiteseewhatYOU\'VEgottosayaboutthem?\" \"I?I\'vegotALLtosayaboutthem。They\'dneverhavebeenthoughtofifIhadn\'tfoundtheiropera-glass。Thecorpsebelongstome，andI\'lldoasIpleasewithhim。\" IwasleaderoftheExpedition，andalldiscoveriesachievedbyitnaturallybelongedtome。Iwasentitledtotheseremains，andcouldhaveenforcedmyright； butratherthanhavebadbloodaboutthematter，Isaidwewouldtossupforthem。Ithrewheadsandwon，butitwasabarrenvictory，foralthoughwespentallthenextdaysearching，weneverfoundabone。Icannotimaginewhatcouldeverhavebecomeofthatfellow。 ThetowninthevalleyiscalledLeukorLeukerbad。 Wepointedourcoursetowardit，downaverdantslopewhichwasadornedwithfringedgentiansandotherflowers，andpresentlyenteredthenarrowalleysoftheoutskirtsandwadedtowardthemiddleofthetownthroughliquid\"fertilizer。\"Theyoughttoeitherpavethatvillageororganizeaferry。 Harris\'sbodywassimplyachamois-pasture；hispersonwaspopulouswiththelittlehungrypests；hisskin，whenhestripped，wassplotchedlikeascarlet-feverpatient\'s； so，whenwewereabouttoenteroneoftheLeukerbadinns，andhenoticeditssign，\"ChamoisHotel，\"herefusedtostopthere。Hesaidthechamoiswasplentifulenough，withouthuntinguphotelswheretheymadeaspecialtyofit。 Iwasindifferent，forthechamoisisacreaturethatwillneitherbitemenorabidewithme；buttocalmHarris，wewenttotheHo^teldesAlpes。 Atthetabled\'ho^te，wehadthis，foranincident。 Averygraveman——infacthisgravityamountedtosolemnity，andalmosttoausterity——satoppositeusandhewas\"tight，\"butdoinghisbesttoappearsober。HetookupaCORKEDbottleofwine，tilteditoverhisglassawhile，thensetitoutoftheway，withacontentedlook，andwentonwithhisdinner。 Presentlyheputhisglasstohismouth，andofcoursefounditempty。Helookedpuzzled，andglancedfurtivelyandsuspiciouslyoutofthecornerofhiseyeatabenignantandunconsciousoldladywhosatathisright。 Shookhishead，asmuchastosay，\"No，shecouldn\'thavedoneit。\"Hetiltedthecorkedbottleoverhisglassagain，meantimesearchingaroundwithhiswateryeyetoseeifanybodywaswatchinghim。Heateafewmouthfuls，raisedhisglasstohislips，andofcourseitwasstillempty。Hebentaninjuredandaccusingside-glanceuponthatunconsciousoldlady，whichwasastudytosee。 Shewentoneatingandgavenosign。Hetookuphisglassandhisbottle，withawiseprivatenodofhishead，andsetthemgravelyontheleft-handsideofhisplate—— pouredhimselfanotherimaginarydrink——wenttoworkwithhisknifeandforkoncemore——presentlyliftedhisglasswithgoodconfidence，andfounditempty，asusual。 Thiswasalmostapetrifyingsurprise。Hestraightenedhimselfupinhischairanddeliberatelyandsorrowfullyinspectedthebusyoldladiesathiselbows，firstoneandthentheother。Atlasthesoftlypushedhisplateaway，sethisglassdirectlyinfrontofhim，heldontoitwithhislefthand，andproceededtopourwithhisright。 Thistimeheobservedthatnothingcame。Heturnedthebottleclearupsidedown；stillnothingissuedfromit； aplaintivelookcameintohisface，andhesaid，asiftohimself，\"\'IC!THEY\'VEGOTITALL!\"Thenhesetthebottledown，resignedly，andtooktherestofhisdinnerdry。 Itwasatthattabled\'ho^te，too，thatIhadunderinspectionthelargestladyIhaveeverseeninprivatelife。 Shewasoversevenfeethigh，andmagnificentlyproportioned。 Whathadfirstcalledmyattentiontoher，wasmysteppingonanoutlyingflangeofherfoot，andhearing，fromuptowardtheceiling，adeep\"Pardon，m\'sieu，butyouencroach!\" Thatwaswhenwewerecomingthroughthehall，andtheplacewasdim，andIcouldseeheronlyvaguely。Thethingwhichcalledmyattentiontoherthesecondtimewas，thatatatablebeyondoursweretwoveryprettygirls，andthisgreatladycameinandsatdownbetweenthemandmeandblottedoutmyview。Shehadahandsomeface，andshewasveryfinelyformed——perfectedformed，Ishouldsay。Butshemadeeverybodyaroundherlooktrivialandcommonplace。Ladiesnearherlookedlikechildren，andthemenaboutherlookedmean。Theylookedlikefailures； andtheylookedasiftheyfeltso，too。Shesatwithherbacktous。Ineversawsuchabackinmylife。 Iwouldhavesolikedtoseethemoonriseoverit。 Thewholecongregationwaited，underonepretextoranother，tillshefinishedherdinnerandwentout；theywantedtoseeheratfullaltitude，andtheyfounditworthtarryingfor。 Shefilledone\'sideaofwhatanempressoughttobe，whensheroseupinherunapproachablegrandeurandmovedsuperblyoutofthatplace。 WewerenotatLeukintimetoseeheratherheaviestweight。 Shehadsufferedfromcorpulenceandhadcometheretogetridofherextrafleshinthebaths。Fiveweeksofsoaking—— fiveuninterruptedhoursofiteveryday——hadaccomplishedherpurposeandreducedhertotherightproportions。 Thosebathsremovefat，andalsoskin-diseases。Thepatientsremaininthegreattanksforhoursatatime。 Adozengentlemenandladiesoccupyatanktogether，andamusethemselveswithrompingsandvariousgames。 Theyhavefloatingdesksandtables，andtheyreadorlunchorplaychessinwaterthatisbreast-deep。Thetouristcanstepinandviewthisnovelspectacleifhechooses。 There\'sapoor-box，andhewillhavetocontribute。 Thereareseveralofthesebigbathing-houses，andyoucanalwaystellwhenyouarenearoneofthembytherompingnoisesandshoutsoflaughterthatproceedfromit。 Thewaterisrunningwater，andchangesallthetime，elseapatientwitharingwormmighttakethebathwithonlyapartialsuccess，since，whilehewasriddinghimselfoftheringworm，hemightcatchtheitch。 Thenextmorningwewanderedbackupthegreenvalley，leisurely，withthecurvingwallsofthosebareandstupendousprecipicesrisingintothecloudsbeforeus。 Ihadneverseenaclean，bareprecipicestretchingupfivethousandfeetabovemebefore，andInevershallexpecttoseeanotherone。Theyexist，perhaps，butnotinplaceswhereonecaneasilygetclosetothem。 Thispileofstoneispeculiar。Fromitsbasetothesoaringtopsofitsmightytowers，allitslinesandallitsdetailsvaguelysuggesthumanarchitecture。 Therearerudimentarybow-windows，cornices，chimneys，demarcationsofstories，etc。Onecouldsitandstareupthereandstudythefeaturesandexquisitegracesofthisgrandstructure，bitbybit，anddayafterday，andneverwearyhisinterest。Thetermination，towardthetown，observedinprofile，istheperfectionofshape。 Itcomesdownoutofthecloudsinasuccessionofrounded，colossal，terracelikeprojections——astairwayforthegods； atitsheadspringseveralloftystorm-scarredtowers，oneafteranother，withfaintfilmsofvaporcurlingalwaysaboutthemlikespectralbanners。Iftherewereakingwhoserealmsincludedthewholeworld，herewouldbetheplacemeetandproperforsuchamonarch。Hewouldonlyneedtohollowitoutandputintheelectriclight。 Hecouldgiveaudiencetoanationatatimeunderitsroof。 Oursearchforthoseremainshavingfailed，weinspectedwithaglassthedimanddistanttrackofanold-timeavalanchethatoncesweptdownfromsomepine-grownsummitsbehindthetownandsweptawaythehousesandburiedthepeople； thenwestruckdowntheroadthatleadstowardtheRhone，toseethefamousLadders。Theseperilousthingsarebuiltagainsttheperpendicularfaceofaclifftwoorthreehundredfeethigh。Thepeasants，ofbothsexes，wereclimbingupanddownthem，withheavyloadsontheirbacks。IorderedHarristomaketheascent，soI couldputthethrillandhorrorofitinmybook，andheaccomplishedthefeatsuccessfully，thoughasubagent，forthreefrancs，whichIpaid。ItmakesmeshudderyetwhenIthinkofwhatIfeltwhenIwasclingingtherebetweenheavenandearthinthepersonofthatproxy。 Attimestheworldswamaroundme，andIcouldhardlykeepfromlettinggo，sodizzyingwastheappallingdanger。 Manyapersonwouldhavegivenupanddescended，butIstucktomytask，andwouldnotyielduntilIhadaccomplishedit。 Ifeltajustprideinmyexploit，butIwouldnothaverepeateditforthewealthoftheworld。Ishallbreakmyneckyetwithsomesuchfoolhardyperformance，forwarningsneverseemtohaveanylastingeffectonme。 WhenthepeopleofthehotelfoundthatIhadbeenclimbingthosecrazyLadders，itmademeanobjectofconsiderableattention。 Nextmorning，early，wedrovetotheRhonevalleyandtookthetrainforVisp。Thereweshoulderedourknapsacksandthings，andsetoutonfoot，inatremendousrain，upthewindinggorge，towardZermatt。Hourafterhourwesloppedalong，bytheroaringtorrent，andundernobleLesserAlpswhichwereclothedinrichvelvetygreenallthewayupandhadlittleatomySwisshomesperchedupongrassybenchesalongtheirmist-dimmedheights。 Theraincontinuedtopourandthetorrenttoboom，andwecontinuedtoenjoyboth。Attheonespotwherethistorrenttosseditswhitemanehighest，andthunderedloudest，andlashedthebigbouldersfiercest，thecantonhaddoneitselfthehonortobuildtheflimsiestwoodenbridgethatexistsintheworld。Whilewewerewalkingoverit，alongwithapartyofhorsemen，Inoticedthateventhelargerraindropsmadeitshake。IcalledHarris\'sattentiontoit，andhenoticedit，too。ItseemedtomethatifIownedanelephantthatwasakeepsake，andIthoughtagooddealofhim，IwouldthinktwicebeforeIwouldridehimoverthatbridge。 WeclimbeduptothevillageofSt。Nicholas，abouthalfpastfourintheafternoon，wadedankle-deepthroughthefertilizer-juice，andstoppedatanewandnicehotelclosebythelittlechurch。Westrippedandwenttobed，andsentourclothesdowntobebaked。Andthehordeofsoakedtouristsdidthesame。Thatchaosofclothinggotmixedinthekitchen，andtherewereconsequences。 IdidnotgetbackthesamedrawersIsentdown，whenourthingscameupatsix-fifteen；Igotapaironanewplan。 Theyweremerelyapairofwhiteruffle-cuffedabsurdities，hitchedtogetheratthetopwithanarrowband，andtheydidnotcomequitedowntomyknees。Theywereprettyenough，buttheymademefeelliketwopeople，anddisconnectedatthat。Themanmusthavebeenanidiotthatgothimselfuplikethat，toroughitintheSwissmountains。 Theshirttheybroughtmewasshorterthanthedrawers，andhadn\'tanysleevestoit——atleastithadn\'tanythingmorethanwhatMr。Darwinwouldcall\"rudimentary\"sleeves； thesehad\"edging\"aroundthem，butthebosomwasridiculouslyplain。Theknitsilkundershirttheybroughtmewasonanewplan，andwasreallyasensiblething； itopenedbehind，andhadpocketsinittoputyourshoulder-bladesin；buttheydidnotseemtofitmine，andsoIfounditasortofuncomfortablegarment。 Theygavemybobtailcoattosomebodyelse，andsentmeanulstersuitableforagiraffe。Ihadtotiemycollaron，becausetherewasnobuttonbehindonthatfoolishlittleshirtwhichIdescribedawhileago。 WhenIwasdressedfordinneratsix-thirty，Iwastoolooseinsomeplacesandtootightinothers，andaltogetherI feltslovenlyandill-conditioned。However，thepeopleatthetabled\'ho^tewerenobetteroffthanIwas； theyhadeverybody\'sclothesbuttheirownon。Alongstrangerrecognizedhisulsterassoonashesawthetailofitfollowingmein，butnobodyclaimedmyshirtormydrawers，thoughIdescribedthemaswellasIwasable。 IgavethemtothechambermaidthatnightwhenIwenttobed，andsheprobablyfoundtheowner，formyownthingswereonachairoutsidemydoorinthemorning。 TherewasalovableEnglishclergymanwhodidnotgettothetabled\'ho^teatall。Hisbreecheshadturnedupmissing，andwithoutanyequivalent。 Hesaidhewasnotmoreparticularthanotherpeople，buthehadnoticedthataclergymanatdinnerwithoutanybreecheswasalmostsuretoexciteremark。 [TheFiendishFunofAlp-climbing] WedidnotoversleepatSt。Nicholas。Thechurch-bellbegantoringatfour-thirtyinthemorning，andfromthelengthoftimeitcontinuedtoringIjudgedthatittakestheSwisssinneragoodwhiletogettheinvitationthroughhishead。Mostchurch-bellsintheworldareofpoorquality，andhaveaharshandraspingsoundwhichupsetsthetemperandproducesmuchsin，buttheSt。Nicholasbellisagooddealtheworstonethathasbeencontrivedyet，andispeculiarlymaddeninginitsoperation。Still，itmayhaveitsrightanditsexcusetoexist，forthecommunityispoorandnoteverycitizencanaffordaclock，perhaps；buttherecannotbeanyexcuseforourchurch-bellsathome，fortheirisnofamilyinAmericawithoutaclock，andconsequentlythereisnofairpretextfortheusualSundaymedleyofdreadfulsoundsthatissuesfromoursteeples。ThereismuchmoreprofanityinAmericaonSundaythanisallintheothersixdaysoftheweekputtogether，anditisofamorebitterandmalignantcharacterthantheweek-dayprofanity，too。 Itisproducedbythecracked-potclangorofthecheapchurch-bells。 Webuildourchurchesalmostwithoutregardtocost； werearanedificewhichisanadornmenttothetown，andwegildit，andfrescoit，andmortgageit，anddoeverythingwecanthinkoftoperfectit，andthenspoilitallbyputtingabellonitwhichafflictseverybodywhohearsit，givingsometheheadache，othersSt。Vitus\'sdance，andtheresttheblindstaggers。 AnAmericanvillageatteno\'clockonasummerSundayisthequietestandpeacefulestandholiestthinginnature； butitisaprettydifferentthinghalfanhourlater。 Mr。Poe\'spoemofthe\"Bells\"standsincompletetothisday； butitiswellenoughthatitisso，forthepublicreciteror\"reader\"whogoesaroundtryingtoimitatethesoundsofthevarioussortsofbellswithhisvoicewouldfindhimself\"upastump\"whenhegottothechurch-bell—— asJosephAddisonwouldsay。Thechurchisalwaystryingtogetotherpeopletoreform；itmightnotbeabadideatoreformitselfalittle，bywayofexample。Itisstillclingingtooneortwothingswhichwereusefulonce，butwhicharenotusefulnow，neitheraretheyornamental。 Oneisthebell-ringingtoremindaclock-cakedtownthatitischurch-time，andanotheristhereadingfromthepulpitofatediouslistof\"notices\"whicheverybodywhoisinterestedhasalreadyreadinthenewspaper。 Theclergymanevenreadsthehymnthrough——arelicofanancienttimewhenhymn-booksarescarceandcostly； buteverybodyhasahymn-book，now，andsothepublicreadingisnolongernecessary。Itisnotmerelyunnecessary，itisgenerallypainful；fortheaverageclergymancouldnotfireintohiscongregationwithashotgunandhitaworsereaderthanhimself，unlesstheweaponscatteredshamefully。 Iamnotmeaningtobeflippantandirreverent，Iamonlymeaningtobetruthful。Theaverageclergyman，inallcountriesandofalldenominations，isaverybadreader。 OnewouldthinkhewouldatleastlearnhowtoreadtheLord\'sPrayer，byandby，butitisnotso。Heracesthroughitasifhethoughtthequickerhegotitin，thesooneritwouldbeanswered。Apersonwhodoesnotappreciatetheexceedingvalueofpauses，anddoesnotknowhowtomeasuretheirdurationjudiciously，cannotrenderthegrandsimplicityanddignityofacompositionlikethateffectively。 Wetookatolerablyearlybreakfast，andtrampedofftowardZermattthroughthereekinglanesofthevillage，gladtogetawayfromthatbell。Byandbywehadafinespectacleonourright。Itwasthewall-likebuttendofahugeglacier，whichlookeddownonusfromanAlpineheightwhichwaswellupinthebluesky。Itwasanastonishingamountoficetobecompactedtogetherinonemass。 Weciphereduponitanddecidedthatitwasnotlessthanseveralhundredfeetfromthebaseofthewallofsolidicetothetopofit——Harrisbelieveditwasreallytwicethat。WejudgedthatifSt。Paul\'s，St。Peter\'s，theGreatPyramid，theStrasburgCathedralandtheCapitolinWashingtonwereclusteredagainstthatwall，amansittingonitsupperedgecouldnothanghishatonthetopofanyoneofthemwithoutreachingdownthreeorfourhundredfeet——athingwhich，ofcourse，nomancoulddo。 Tome，thatmightyglacierwasverybeautiful。Ididnotimaginethatanybodycouldfindfaultwithit；butI wasmistaken。Harrishadbeensnarlingforseveraldays。 HewasarabidProtestant，andhewasalwayssaying: \"IntheProtestantcantonsyouneverseesuchpovertyanddirtandsqualorasyoudointhisCatholicone； youneverseethelanesandalleysflowingwithfoulness； youneverseesuchwretchedlittlestiesofhouses； youneverseeaninvertedtinturnipontopofachurchforadome；andasforachurch-bell，why，youneverhearachurch-bellatall。\" Allthismorninghehadbeenfindingfault，straightalong。 Firstitwaswiththemud。Hesaid，\"Itain\'tmuddyinaProtestantcantonwhenitrains。\"Thenitwaswiththedogs: \"Theydon\'thavethoselop-eareddogsinaProtestantcanton。\" Thenitwaswiththeroads:\"Theydon\'tleavetheroadstomakethemselvesinaProtestantcanton，thepeoplemakethem——andtheymakearoadthatISaroad，too。\"Nextitwasthegoats:\"YouneverseeagoatsheddingtearsinaProtestantcanton——agoat，there，isoneofthecheerfulestobjectsinnature。\"Nextitwasthechamois: \"YouneverseeaProtestantchamoisactlikeoneofthese—— theytakeabiteortwoandgo；butthesefellowscampwithyouandstay。\"Thenitwastheguide-boards:\"InaProtestantcantonyoucouldn\'tgetlostifyouwantedto，butyouneverseeaguide-boardinaCatholiccanton。\" Next，\"Youneverseeanyflower-boxesinthewindows，here——neveranythingbutnowandthenacat——atorpidone； butyoutakeaProtestantcanton:windowsperfectlylovelywithflowers——andasforcats，there\'sjustacresofthem。 Thesefolksinthiscantonleavearoadtomakeitself，andthenfineyouthreefrancsifyou\'trot\'overit—— asifahorsecouldtrotoversuchasarcasmofaroad。\" Nextaboutthegoiter:\"THEYtalkaboutgoiter!——Ihaven\'tseenagoiterinthiswholecantonthatIcouldn\'tputinahat。\" Hehadgrowledateverything，butIjudgeditwouldpuzzlehimtofindanythingthematterwiththismajesticglacier。 Iintimatedasmuch；buthewasready，andsaidwithsurlydiscontent:\"YououghttoseethemintheProtestantcantons。\" Thisirritatedme。ButIconcealedthefeeling，andasked: \"Whatisthematterwiththisone?\" \"Matter?Why，itain\'tinanykindofcondition。 Theynevertakeanycareofaglacierhere。Themorainehasbeenspillinggravelaroundit，andgotitalldirty。\" \"Why，man，THEYcan\'thelpthat。\" \"THEY?You\'reright。Thatis，theyWON\'T。Theycouldiftheywantedto。YouneverseeaspeckofdirtonaProtestantglacier。LookattheRhoneglacier。 Itisfifteenmileslong，andsevenhundredfeetthink。 IfthiswasaProtestantglacieryouwouldn\'tseeitlookinglikethis，Icantellyou。\" \"Thatisnonsense。Whatwouldtheydowithit?\" \"Theywouldwhitewashit。Theyalwaysdo。\" Ididnotbelieveawordofthis，butratherthanhavetroubleIletitgo；foritisawasteofbreathtoarguewithabigot。IevendoubtediftheRhoneglacierWAS inaProtestantcanton；butIdidnotknow，soIcouldnotmakeanythingbycontradictingamanwhowouldprobablyputmedownatoncewithmanufacturedevidence。 AboutninemilesfromSt。NicholaswecrossedabridgeovertheragingtorrentoftheVisp，andcametoalogstripofflimsyfencingwhichwaspretendingtosecurepeoplefromtumblingoveraperpendicularwallfortyfeethighandintotheriver。Threechildrenwereapproaching； oneofthem，alittlegirl，abouteightyearsold，wasrunning；whenprettyclosetousshestumbledandfell，andherfeetshotundertherailofthefenceandforamomentprojectedoverthestream。Itgaveusasharpshock，forwethoughtshewasgone，sure，forthegroundslantedsteeply，andtosaveherselfseemedasheerimpossibility； butshemanagedtoscrambleup，andranbyuslaughing。 Wewentforwardandexaminedtheplaceandsawthelongtrackswhichherfeethadmadeinthedirtwhentheydartedovertheverge。Ifshehadfinishedhertripshewouldhavestrucksomebigrocksintheedgeofthewater，andthenthetorrentwouldhavesnatchedherdownstreamamongthehalf-coveredbouldersandshewouldhavebeenpoundedtopulpintwominutes。Wehadcomeexceedinglynearwitnessingherdeath。 AndnowHarris\'scontrarynatureandinbornselfishnesswerestrikingmanifested。Hehasnospiritofself-denial。 Hebeganstraightoff，andcontinuedforanhour，toexpresshisgratitudethatthechildwasnotdestroyed。 Ineversawsuchaman。Thatwasthekindofpersonhewas； justsoHEwasgratified，henevercaredanythingaboutanybodyelse。Ihadnoticedthattraitinhim，overandoveragain。Often，ofcourse，itwasmereheedlessness，merewantofreflection。Doubtlessthismayhavebeenthecaseinmostinstances，butitwasnotthelesshardtobaronthataccount——andafterall，itsbottom，itsgroundwork，wasselfishness。Thereisnoavoidingthatconclusion。Intheinstanceunderconsideration，Ididthinktheindecencyofrunningoninthatwaymightoccurtohim；butno，thechildwassavedandhewasglad，thatwassufficient——hecarednotastrawforMYfeelings，ormylossofsuchaliteraryplum，snatchedfrommyverymouthattheinstantitwasreadytodropintoit。 Hisselfishnesswassufficienttoplacehisowngratificationinbeingsparedsufferingclearbeforeallconcernforme，hisfriend。Apparently，hedidnotoncereflectuponthevaluabledetailswhichwouldhavefallenlikeawindfalltome:fishingthechildout——witnessingthesurpriseofthefamilyandthestirthethingwouldhavemadeamongthepeasants——thenaSwissfuneral——thentheroadsidemonument，tobepaidforbyusandhaveournamesmentionedinit。 AndweshouldhavegoneintoBaedekerandbeenimmortal。 Iwassilent。Iwastoomuchhurttocomplain。Ifhecouldactso，andbesoheedlessandsofrivolousatsuchatime，andactuallyseemtogloryinit，afterallIhaddoneforhim，IwouldhavecutmyhandoffbeforeIwouldlethimseethatIwaswounded。 WewereapproachingZermatt；consequently，wewereapproachingtherenownedMatterhorn。Amonthbefore，thismountainhadbeenonlyanametous，butlatterlywehadbeenmovingthroughasteadilythickeningdoublerowofpicturesofit，doneinoil，water，chromo，wood，steel，copper，crayon，andphotography，andsoithadatlengthbecomeashapetous——andaverydistinct，decided，andfamiliarone，too。Wewereexpectingtorecognizethatmountainwheneverorwhereverweshouldrunacrossit。 Wewerenotdeceived。Themonarchwasfarawaywhenwefirstsawhim，buttherewasnosuchthingasmistakinghim。 Hehastherarepeculiarityofstandingbyhimself； heispeculiarlysteep，too，andisalsomostoddlyshaped。 Hetowersintotheskylikeacolossalwedge，withtheupperthirdofitsbladebentalittletotheleft。 Thebroadbaseofthismonsterwedgeisplanteduponagrandglacier-pavedAlpineplatformwhoseelevationistenthousandfeetabovesea-level；asthewedgeitselfissomefivethousandfeethigh，itfollowsthatitsapexisaboutfifteenthousandfeetabovesea-level。 Sothewholebulkofthisstatelypieceofrock，thissky-cleavingmonolith，isabovethelineofeternalsnow。 Yetwhileallitsgiantneighborshavethelookofbeingbuiltofsolidsnow，fromtheirwaistsup，theMatterhornstandsblackandnakedandforbidding，theyearround，ormerelypowderedorstreakedwithwhiteinplaces，foritssidesaresosteepthatthesnowcannotstaythere。 Itsstrangeform，itsaugustisolation，anditsmajesticunkinshipwithitsownkind，makeit——sotospeak——theNapoleonofthemountainworld。\"Grand，gloomy，andpeculiar，\" isaphrasewhichfitsitasaptlyasitfittedthegreatcaptain。 Thinkofamonumentamilehigh，standingonapedestaltwomileshigh!ThisiswhattheMatterhornis——amonument。 Itsoffice，henceforth，foralltime，willbetokeepwatchandwardoverthesecretresting-placeoftheyoungLordDouglas，who，in1865，wasprecipitatedfromthesummitoveraprecipicefourthousandfeethigh，andneverseenagain。Nomaneverhadsuchamonumentasthisbefore； themostimposingoftheworld\'sothermonumentsarebutatomscomparedtoit；andtheywillperish，andtheirplaceswillpassfrommemory，butthiswillremain。[1] 1。TheaccidentwhichcostLordDouglashislife(seeChapterxii)alsocostthelivesofthreeothermen。 Thesethreefellfour-fifthsofamile，andtheirbodieswereafterwardfound，lyingsidebyside，uponaglacier，whencetheywerebornetoZermattandburiedinthechurchyard。 TheremainsofLordDouglashaveneverbeenfound。 Thesecretofhissepulture，likethatofMoses，mustremainamysteryalways。 AwalkfromSt。NicholastoZermattisawonderfulexperience。 Natureisbuiltonastupendousplaninthatregion。 Onemarchescontinuallybetweenwallsthatarepiledintotheskies，withtheirupperheightsbrokenintoaconfusionofsublimeshapesthatgleamwhiteandcoldagainstthebackgroundofblue；andhereandthereoneseesabigglacierdisplayingitsgrandeursonthetopofaprecipice，oragracefulcascadeleapingandflashingdownthegreendeclivities。Thereisnothingtame，orcheap，ortrivial——itisallmagnificent。Thatshortvalleyisapicture-galleryofanotablekind，foritcontainsnomediocrities；fromendtoendtheCreatorhashungitwithHismasterpieces。 WemadeZermattatthreeintheafternoon，ninehoursoutfromSt。Nicholas。Distance，byguide-book，twelvemiles； bypedometerseventy-two。Wewereintheheartandhomeofthemountain-climbers，now，asallvisiblethingstestified。Thesnow-peaksdidnotholdthemselvesaloof，inaristocraticreserve；theynestledclosearound，inafriendly，sociableway；guides，withtheropesandaxesandotherimplementsoftheirfearfulcallingslungabouttheirpersons，roostedinalonglineuponastonewallinfrontofthehotel，andwaitedforcustomers； sun-burntclimbers，inmountaineeringcostume，andfollowedbytheirguidesandporters，arrivedfromtimetotime，frombreakneckexpeditionsamongthepeaksandglaciersoftheHighAlps；maleandfemaletourists，onmules，filedby，inacontinuousprocession，hotelward-boundfromwildadventureswhichwouldgrowingrandeurverytimetheyweredescribedattheEnglishorAmericanfireside，andatlastoutgrowthepossibleitself。 Wewerenotdreaming；thiswasnotamake-believehomeoftheAlp-climber，createdbyourheatedimaginations； no，forherewasMr。Girdlestonehimself，thefamousEnglishmanwhohuntshiswaytothemostformidableAlpinesummitswithoutaguide。IwasnotequaltoimaginingaGirdlestone；itwasallIcoulddotoevenrealizehim，whilelookingstraightathimatshortrange。IwouldratherfacewholeHydeParksofartillerythantheghastlyformsofdeathwhichhehasfacedamongthepeaksandprecipicesofthemountains。ThereisprobablynopleasureequaltothepleasureofclimbingadangerousAlp；butitisapleasurewhichisconfinedstrictlytopeoplewhocanfindpleasureinit。Ihavenotjumpedtothisconclusion； Ihavetraveledtoitpergravel-train，sotospeak。 Ihavethoughtthethingallout，andamquitesureI amright。Abornclimber\'sappetiteforclimbingishardtosatisfy；whenitcomesuponhimheislikeastarvingmanwithafeastbeforehim；hemayhaveotherbusinessonhand，butitmustwait。Mr。GirdlestonehadhadhisusualsummerholidayintheAlps，andhadspentitinhisusualway，huntingforuniquechancestobreakhisneck；hisvacationwasover，andhisluggagepackedforEngland，butallofasuddenahungerhadcomeuponhimtoclimbthetremendousWeisshornoncemore，forhehadheardofanewandutterlyimpossiblerouteupit。 Hisbaggagewasunpackedatonce，andnowheandafriend，ladenwithknapsacks，ice-axes，coilsofrope，andcanteensofmilk，werejustsettingout。Theywouldspendthenighthighupamongthesnows，somewhere，andgetupattwointhemorningandfinishtheenterprise。 Ihadastrongdesiretogowiththem，butforceditdown—— afeatwhichMr。Girdlestone，withallhisfortitude，couldnotdo。 Evenladiescatchtheclimbingmania，andareunabletothrowitoff。Afamousclimber，ofthatsex，hadattemptedtheWeisshornafewdaysbeforeourarrival，andsheandherguideshadlosttheirwayinasnow-stormhighupamongthepeaksandglaciersandbeenforcedtowanderaroundagoodwhilebeforetheycouldfindawaydown。 Whenthisladyreachedthebottom，shehadbeenonherfeettwenty-threehours! Ourguides，hiredontheGemmi，werealreadyatZermattwhenwereachedthere。Sotherewasnothingtointerferewithourgettingupanadventurewheneverweshouldchoosethetimeandtheobject。IresolvedtodevotemyfirsteveninginZermatttostudyingupthesubjectofAlpineclimbing，bywayofpreparation。