第14章

Itisaninsolencetowardthemajorityofthepurchasers，foritisaveryfrankandimpudentwayofsaying，\'Getthetranslationsmadeyourselfifyouwantthem，thisbookisnotwrittenfortheignorantclasses。\'TherearemenwhoknowaforeignlanguagesowellandhaveuseditsolongintheirdailylifethattheyseemtodischargewholevolleysofitintotheirEnglishwritingsunconsciously，andsotheyomittotranslate，asmuchashalfthetime。 Thatisagreatcrueltytonineoutoftenoftheman\'sreaders。Whatistheexcuseforthis?ThewriterwouldsayheonlyusestheforeignlanguagewherethedelicacyofhispointcannotbeconveyedinEnglish。 Verywell，thenhewriteshisbestthingsforthetenthman，andheoughttowarnthenineothernottobuyhisbook。 However，theexcuseheoffersisatleastanexcuse； butthereisanothersetofmenwhoarelikeYOU； theyknowaWORDhereandthere，ofaforeignlanguage，orafewbeggarlylittlethree-wordphrases，filchedfromthebackoftheDictionary，andthesearecontinuallypepperingintotheirliterature，withapretenseofknowingthatlanguage——whatexcusecantheyoffer?Theforeignwordsandphraseswhichtheyusehavetheirexactequivalentsinanoblerlanguage——English；yettheythinkthey\'adorntheirpage\'whentheysaySTRASSEforstreet，andBAHNHOFforrailway-station，andsoon——flauntingtheseflutteringragsofpovertyinthereader\'sfaceandimagininghewillbeassenoughtotakethemforthesignofuntoldrichesheldinreserve。Iwillletyour\'learning\'remaininyourreport；youhaveasmuchright，Isuppose，to\'adornyourpage\'withZuluandChineseandChoctawrubbishasothersofyoursorthavetoadorntheirswithinsolentoddsandendssmouchedfromhalfadozenlearnedtongueswhoseA-BABStheydon\'tevenknow。\" Whenthemusingspiderstepsuponthered-hotshovel，hefirstexhibitsawildsurprise，thenheshrivelsup。 SimilarwastheeffectoftheseblisteringwordsuponthetranquilandunsuspectingAgent。Icanbedreadfullyroughonapersonwhenthemoodtakesme。 CHAPTERXXXI [Alp-scalingbyCarriage] Wenowpreparedforaconsiderablewalk——fromLucernetoInterlaken，overtheBru\"nigPass。ButatthelastmomenttheweatherwassogoodthatIchangedmymindandhiredafour-horsecarriage。Itwasahugevehicle，roomy，aseasyinitsmotionasapalanquin，andexceedinglycomfortable。 Wegotawayprettyearlyinthemorning，afterahotbreakfast，andwentbowlingoverahard，smoothroad，throughthesummerlovelinessofSwitzerland，withnearanddistantlakesandmountainsbeforeandaboutusfortheentertainmentoftheeye，andthemusicofmultitudinousbirdstocharmtheear。Sometimestherewasonlythewidthoftheroadbetweentheimposingprecipicesontherightandtheclearcoolwaterontheleftwithitsshoalsofuncatchablefishskimmingaboutthroughthebarsofsunandshadow； andsometimes，inplaceoftheprecipices，thegrassylandstretchedaway，inanapparentlyendlessupwardslant，andwasdottedeverywherewithsnuglittlechalets，thepeculiarlycaptivatingcottageofSwitzerland。 Theordinarychaletturnsabroad，honestgableendtotheroad，anditsampleroofhoversoverthehomeinaprotecting，caressingway，projectingitsshelteringeavesfaroutward。Thequaintwindowsarefilledwithlittlepanes，andgarnishedwithwhitemuslincurtains，andbrightenedwithboxesofbloomingflowers。 Acrossthefrontofthehouse，andupthespreadingeavesandalongthefancifulrailingsoftheshallowporch，areelaboratecarvings——wreaths，fruits，arabesques，versesfromScripture，names，dates，etc。Thebuildingiswhollyofwood，reddishbrownintint，averypleasingcolor。Itgenerallyhasvinesclimbingoverit。 Setsuchahouseagainstthefreshgreenofthehillside，anditlookseversocozyandinvitingandpicturesque，andisadecidedlygracefuladditiontothelandscape。 Onedoesnotfindoutwhataholdthechalethastakenuponhim，untilhepresentlycomesuponanewhouse—— ahousewhichisapingthetownfashionsofGermanyandFrance，aprim，hideous，straight-up-and-downthing，plasteredalloverontheoutsidetolooklikestone，andaltogethersostiff，andformal，andugly，andforbidding，andsooutoftunewiththegraciouslandscape，andsodeafanddumbanddeadtothepoetryofitssurroundings，thatitsuggestsanundertakeratapicnic，acorpseatawedding，apuritaninParadise。 InthecourseofthemorningwepassedthespotwherePontiusPilateissaidtohavethrownhimselfintothelake。 ThelegendgoesthataftertheCrucifixionhisconsciencetroubledhim，andhefledfromJerusalemandwanderedabouttheearth，wearyoflifeandapreytotorturesofthemind。Eventually，hehidhimselfaway，ontheheightsofMountPilatus，anddweltaloneamongthecloudsandcragsforyears；butrestandpeacewerestilldeniedhim，sohefinallyputanendtohismiserybydrowninghimself。 Presentlywepassedtheplacewhereamanofbetterodorwasborn。Thiswasthechildren\'sfriend，SantaClaus，orSt。Nicholas。Therearesomeunaccountablereputationsintheworld。Thissaint\'sisaninstance。Hehasrankedforagesasthepeculiarfriendofchildren，yetitappearshewasnotmuchofafriendtohisown。 Hehadtenofthem，andwhenfiftyyearsoldheleftthem，andsoughtoutasdismalarefugefromtheworldaspossible，andbecameahermitinorderthathemightreflectuponpiousthemeswithoutbeingdisturbedbythejoyousandothernoisesfromthenursery，doubtless。 JudgingbyPilateandSt。Nicholas，thereexistsnorulefortheconstructionofhermits；theyseemmadeoutofallkindsofmaterial。ButPilateattendedtothematterofexpiatinghissinwhilehewasalive，whereasSt。Nicholaswillprobablyhavetogoonclimbingdownsootychimneys，Christmaseve，forever，andconferringkindnessonotherpeople\'schildren，tomakeupfordesertinghisown。 Hisbonesarekeptinachurchinavillage(Sachseln) whichwevisited，andarenaturallyheldingreatreverence。 Hisportraitiscommoninthefarmhousesoftheregion，butisbelievedbymanytobebutanindifferentlikeness。 Duringhishermitlife，accordingtolegend，hepartookofthebreadandwineofthecommuniononceamonth，butalltherestofthemonthhefasted。 Aconstantmarvelwithus，aswespedalongthebasesofthesteepmountainsonthisjourney，was，notthatavalanchesoccur，butthattheyarenotoccurringallthetime。Onedoesnotunderstandwhyrocksandlandslidesdonotplungedownthesedeclivitiesdaily。Alandslipoccurredthreequartersofacenturyago，ontheroutefromArthtoBrunnen，whichwasaformidablething。 Amassofconglomeratetwomileslong，athousandfeetbroad，andahundredfeetthick，brokeawayfromacliffthreethousandfeethighandhurleditselfintothevalleybelow，buryingfourvillagesandfivehundredpeople，asinagrave。 Wehadsuchabeautifulday，andsuchendlesspicturesoflimpidlakes，andgreenhillsandvalleys，andmajesticmountains，andmilkycataractsdancingdownthesteepsandgleaminginthesun，thatwecouldnothelpfeelingsweettowardalltheworld；sowetriedtodrinkallthemilk，andeatallthegrapesandapricotsandberries，andbuyallthebouquetsofwildflowerswhichthelittlepeasantboysandgirlsofferedforsale； butwehadtoretirefromthiscontract，foritwastooheavy。 Atshortdistances——andtheywereentirelytooshort——allalongtheroad，weregroupsofneatandcomelychildren，withtheirwaresnicelyandtemptinglysetforthinthegrassundertheshadetrees，andassoonasweapproachedtheyswarmedintotheroad，holdingouttheirbasketsandmilkbottles，andranbesidethecarriage，barefootandbareheaded，andimportunedustobuy。 Theyseldomdesistedearly，butcontinuedtorunandinsist——besidethewagonwhiletheycould，andbehindituntiltheylostbreath。Thentheyturnedandchasedareturningcarriagebacktotheirtrading-postagain。 Afterseveralhoursofthis，withoutanyintermission，itbecomesalmostannoying。Idonotknowwhatweshouldhavedonewithoutthereturningcarriagestodrawoffthepursuit。However，therewereplentyofthese，loadedwithdustytouristsandpiledhighwithluggage。 Indeed，fromLucernetoInterlakenwehadthespectacle，amongotherscenery，ofanunbrokenprocessionoffruit-peddlersandtouristscarriages。 Ourtalkwasmostlyanticipatoryofwhatweshouldseeonthedown-gradeoftheBru\"nig，byandby，afterweshouldpassthesummit。AllourfriendsinLucernehadsaidthattolookdownuponMeiringen，andtherushingblue-grayriverAar，andthebroadlevelgreenvalley； andacrossatthemightyAlpineprecipicesthatrisestraightuptothecloudsoutofthatvalley；andupatthemicroscopicchaletspercheduponthedizzyeavesofthoseprecipicesandwinkingdimlyandfitfullythroughthedriftingveilofvapor；andstillupandup，atthesuperbOltschibackandtheotherbeautifulcascadesthatleapfromthoseruggedheights，robedinpowderyspray，ruffledwithfoam，andgirdledwithrainbows——tolookuponthesethings，theysay，wastolookuponthelastpossibilityofthesublimeandtheenchanting。Therefore，asIsay，wetalkedmainlyofthesecomingwonders；ifwewereconsciousofanyimpatience，itwastogetthereinfavorableseason； ifwefeltanyanxiety，itwasthatthedaymightremainperfect，andenableustoseethosemarvelsattheirbest。 AsweapproachedtheKaiserstuhl，apartoftheharnessgaveway。 Wewereindistressforamoment，butonlyamoment。 Itwasthefore-and-aftgearthatwasbroken——thethingthatleadsaftfromtheforwardpartofthehorseandismadefasttothethingthatpullsthewagon。InAmericathiswouldhavebeenaheavyleathernstrap；but，alloverthecontinentitisnothingbutapieceofropethesizeofyourlittlefinger——clothes-lineiswhatitis。 Cabsuseit，privatecarriages，freight-cartsandwagons，allsortsofvehicleshaveit。InMunichIafterwardsawitusedonalongwagonladenwithfifty-fourhalf-barrelsofbeer；IhadbeforenoticedthatthecabsinHeidelbergusedit——notnewrope，butropethathadbeeninusesinceAbraham\'stime——andIhadfeltnervous，sometimes，behinditwhenthecabwastearingdownahill。ButI hadlongbeenaccustomedtoitnow，andhadevenbecomeafraidoftheleatherstrapwhichbelongedinitsplace。 Ourdrivergotafreshpieceofclothes-lineoutofhislockerandrepairedthebreakintwominutes。 SomuchforoneEuropeanfashion。Everycountryhasitsownways。Itmayinterestthereadertoknowhowthey\"puthorsesto\"onthecontinent。Themanstandsupthehorsesoneachsideofthethingthatprojectsfromthefrontendofthewagon，andthenthrowsthetangledmessofgearforwardthrougharing，andhaulsitaft，andpassestheotherthingthroughtheotherringandhaulsitaftontheothersideoftheotherhorse，oppositetothefirstone，aftercrossingthemandbringingthelooseendback，andthenbucklestheotherthingunderneaththehorse，andtakesanotherthingandwrapsitaroundthethingIspokeofbefore，andputsanotherthingovereachhorse\'shead，withbroadflapperstoittokeepthedustoutofhiseyes，andputstheironthinginhismouthforhimtogrithisteethon，uphill，andbringstheendsofthesethingsaftoverhisback，afterbucklinganotheronearoundunderhisnecktoholdhisheadup，andhitchinganotherthingonathingthatgoesoverhisshoulderstokeephisheadupwhenheisclimbingahill，andthentakestheslackofthethingwhichImentionedawhileago，andfetchesitaftandmakesitfasttothethingthatpullsthewagon，andhandstheotherthingsuptothedrivertosteerwith。 Ineverhavebuckledupahorsemyself，butIdonotthinkwedoitthatway。 Wehadfourveryhandsomehorses，andthedriverwasveryproudofhisturnout。Hewouldbowlalongonareasonabletrot，onthehighway，butwhenheenteredavillagehediditonafuriousrun，andaccompanieditwithafrenzyofceaselesswhip-crackingsthatsoundedlikevolleysofmusketry。 Hetorethroughthenarrowstreetsandaroundthesharpcurveslikeamovingearthquake，showeringhisvolleysashewent，andbeforehimsweptacontinuoustidalwaveofscamperingchildren，ducks，cats，andmothersclaspingbabieswhichtheyhadsnatchedoutofthewayofthecomingdestruction；andasthislivingwavewashedaside，alongthewalls，itselements，beingsafe，forgottheirfearsandturnedtheiradmiringgazeuponthatgallantdrivertillhethunderedaroundthenextcurveandwaslosttosight。 Hewasagreatmantothosevillagers，withhisgaudyclothesandhisterrificways。Wheneverhestoppedtohavehiscattlewateredandfedwithloavesofbread，thevillagersstoodaroundadmiringhimwhileheswaggeredabout，thelittleboysgazedupathisfacewithhumblehomage，andthelandlordbroughtoutfoamingmugsofbeerandconversedproudlywithhimwhilehedrank。 Thenhemountedhisloftybox，swunghisexplosivewhip，andawayhewentagain，likeastorm。IhadnotseenanythinglikethisbeforesinceIwasaboy，andthestageusedtoflourishthevillagewiththedustflyingandthehorntooting。 WhenwereachedthebaseoftheKaiserstuhl，wetooktwomorehorses；wehadtotoilalongwithdifficultyforanhourandahalfortwohours，fortheascentwasnotverygradual，butwhenwepassedthebackboneandapproachedthestation，thedriversurpassedallhispreviouseffortsinthewayofrushandclatter。 Hecouldnothavesixhorsesallthetime，sohemadethemostofhischancewhilehehadit。 UptothispointwehadbeenintheheartoftheWilliamTellregion。Theheroisnotforgotten，byanymeans，orheldindoubtfulveneration。Hiswoodenimage，withhisbowdrawn，abovethedoorsoftaverns，wasafrequentfeatureofthescenery。 AboutnoonwearrivedatthefootoftheBru\"nigPass，andmadeatwo-hourstopatthevillagehotel，anotherofthoseclean，pretty，andthoroughlywell-keptinnswhicharesuchanastonishmenttopeoplewhoareaccustomedtohotelsofadismallydifferentpatterninremotecountry-towns。 Therewasalakehere，inthelapofthegreatmountains，thegreenslopesthatrosetowardthelowercragsweregracedwithscatteredSwisscottagesnestlingamongminiaturefarmsandgardens，andfromoutaleafyambuscadeintheupperheightstumbledabrawlingcataract。 Carriageaftercarriage，ladenwithtouristsandtrunks，arrived，andthequiethotelwassoonpopulous。 Wewereearlyatthetabled\'ho^teandsawthepeopleallcomein。Thereweretwenty-five，perhaps。Theywereofvariousnationalities，butweweretheonlyAmericans。 NexttomesatanEnglishbride，andnexttohersathernewhusband，whomshecalled\"Neddy，\"thoughhewasbigenoughandstalwartenoughtobeentitledtohisfullname。 Theyhadaprettylittlelovers\'quarreloverwhatwinetheyshouldhave。Neddywasforobeyingtheguide-bookandtakingthewineofthecountry；butthebridesaid: \"What，thatnahstystuff!\" \"Itisn\'tnahsty，pet，it\'squitegood。\" \"ItISnahsty。\" \"No，itISN\'Tnahsty。\" \"It\'sOfulnahsty，Neddy，andIshahn\'tdrinkit。\" Thenthequestionwas，whatshemusthave。Shesaidheknewverywellthatsheneverdrankanythingbutchampagne。 Sheadded: \"Youknowverywellpapaalwayshaschampagneonhistable，andI\'vealwaysbeenusedtoit。\" Neddymadeaplayfulpretenseofbeingdistressedabouttheexpense，andthisamusedhersomuchthatshenearlyexhaustedherselfwithlaughter——andthispleasedHIM somuchthatherepeatedhisjestacoupleoftimes，andaddednewandkillingvarietiestoit。Whenthebridefinallyrecovered，shegaveNeddyalove-boxonthearmwithherfan，andsaidwitharchseverity: \"Well，youwouldHAVEme——nothingelsewoulddo—— soyou\'llhavetomakethebestofabadbargain。 DOorderthechampagne，I\'mOfuldry。\" Sowithamockgroanwhichmadeherlaughagain，Neddyorderedthechampagne。 Thefactthatthisyoungwomanhadnevermoistenedtheselvedgeedgeofhersoulwithalessplebeiantipplethanchampagne，hadamarkedandsubduingeffectonHarris。Hebelievedshebelongedtotheroyalfamily。 ButIhadmydoubts。 Weheardtwoorthreedifferentlanguagesspokenbypeopleatthetableandguessedoutthenationalitiesofmostofthegueststooursatisfaction，butwefailedwithanelderlygentlemanandhiswifeandayounggirlwhosatoppositeus，andwithagentlemanofaboutthirty-fivewhosatthreeseatsbeyondHarris。 Wedidnothearanyofthesespeak。Butfinallythelast-namedgentlemanleftwhilewewerenotnoticing，butwelookedupashereachedthefarendofthetable。 Hestoppedthereamoment，andmadehistoiletwithapocketcomb。SohewasaGerman；orelsehehadlivedinGermanhotelslongenoughtocatchthefashion。 Whentheelderlycoupleandtheyounggirlrosetoleave，theybowedrespectfullytous。SotheywereGermans，too。 Thisnationalcustomisworthsixoftheotherone，forexport。 AfterdinnerwetalkedwithseveralEnglishmen，andtheyinflamedourdesiretoahotterdegreethanever，toseethesightsofMeiringenfromtheheightsoftheBru\"nigPass。Theysaidtheviewwasmarvelous，andthatonewhohadseenitoncecouldneverforgetit。 Theyalsospokeoftheromanticnatureoftheroadoverthepass，andhowinoneplaceithadbeencutthroughaflankofthesolidrock，insuchawaythatthemountainoverhungthetouristashepassedby；andtheyfurthermoresaidthatthesharpturnsintheroadandtheabruptnessofthedescentwouldaffordusathrillingexperience，forweshouldgodowninaflyinggallopandseemtobespinningaroundtheringsofawhirlwind，likeadropofwhiskeydescendingthespiralsofacorkscrew。 Igotalltheinformationoutofthesegentlementhatwecouldneed；andthen，tomakeeverythingcomplete，Iaskedthemifabodycouldgetholdofalittlefruitandmilkhereandthere，incaseofnecessity。Theythrewuptheirhandsinspeechlessintimationthattheroadwassimplypavedwithrefreshment-peddlers。Wewereimpatienttogetaway，now，andtherestofourtwo-hourstopratherdragged。 Butfinallythesettimearrivedandwebegantheascent。 Indeeditwasawonderfulroad。Itwassmooth，andcompact，andclean，andthesidenexttheprecipiceswasguardedallalongbydressedstonepostsaboutthreefeethigh，placedatshortdistancesapart。TheroadcouldnothavebeenbetterbuiltifNapoleontheFirsthadbuiltit。 HeseemstohavebeentheintroducerofthesortofroadswhichEuropenowuses。AllliteraturewhichdescribeslifeasitexistedinEngland，France，andGermanyuptothecloseofthelastcentury，isfilledwithpicturesofcoachesandcarriageswallowingthroughthesethreecountriesinmudandslushhalf-wheeldeep；butafterNapoleonhadflounderedthroughaconqueredkingdomhegenerallyarrangedthingssothattherestoftheworldcouldfollowdry-shod。 Wewentonclimbing，higherandhigher，andcurvinghitherandthither，intheshadeofnoblewoods，andwitharichvarietyandprofusionofwildflowersallaboutus； andglimpsesofroundedgrassybackbonesbelowusoccupiedbytrimchaletsandnibblingsheep，andotherglimpsesoffarloweraltitudes，wheredistancediminishedthechaletstotoysandobliteratedthesheepaltogether； andeverynowandthensomeerminedmonarchoftheAlpsswungmagnificentlyintoviewforamoment，thendriftedpastaninterveningspuranddisappearedagain。 Itwasanintoxicatingtripaltogether；theexceedingsenseofsatisfactionthatfollowsagooddinneraddedlargelytotheenjoyment；thehavingsomethingespecialtolookforwardtoandmuseabout，liketheapproachinggrandeursofMeiringen，sharpenedthezest。Smokingwasneversogoodbefore，solidcomfortwasneversolider； welaybackagainstthethickcushionssilent，meditative，steepedinfelicity。 Irubbedmyeyes，openedthem，andstarted。IhadbeendreamingIwasatsea，anditwasathrillingsurprisetowakeupandfindlandallaroundme。Ittookmeacouplesecondsto\"cometo，\"asyoumaysay；thenItookinthesituation。 Thehorsesweredrinkingatatroughintheedgeofatown，thedriverwastakingbeer，Harriswassnoringatmyside，thecourier，withfoldedarmsandbowedhead，wassleepingonthebox，twodozenbarefootedandbareheadedchildrenweregatheredaboutthecarriage，withtheirhandscrossedbehind，gazingupwithseriousandinnocentadmirationatthedozingtouristsbakingthereinthesun。 Severalsmallgirlsheldnight-cappedbabiesnearlyasbigasthemselvesintheirarms，andeventhesefatbabiesseemedtotakeasortofsluggishinterestinus。 Wehadsleptanhourandahalfandmissedallthescenery! Ididnotneedanybodytotellmethat。IfIhadbeenagirl，Icouldhavecursedforvexation。Asitwas，Iwokeuptheagentandgavehimapieceofmymind。 Insteadofbeinghumiliated，heonlyupbraidedmeforbeingsowantinginvigilance。HesaidhehadexpectedtoimprovehismindbycomingtoEurope，butamanmighttraveltotheendsoftheearthwithmeandneverseeanything，forI wasmanifestlyendowedwiththeverygeniusofillluck。 Heeventriedtogetupsomeemotionaboutthatpoorcourier，whonevergotachancetoseeanything，onaccountofmyheedlessness。ButwhenIthoughtIhadborneaboutenoughofthiskindoftalk，IthreatenedtomakeHarristrampbacktothesummitandmakeareportonthatscenery，andthissuggestionspikedhisbattery。 WedrovesullenlythroughBrienz，deadtotheseductionsofitsbewilderingarrayofSwisscarvingsandtheclamorousHOO-hooingofitscuckooclocks，andhadnotentirelyrecoveredourspiritswhenwerattledacrossabridgeovertherushingblueriverandenteredtheprettytownofInterlaken。Itwasjustaboutsunset，andwehadmadethetripfromLucerneintenhours。 CHAPTERXXXII [TheJungfrau，theBride，andthePiano] WelocatedourselvesattheJungfrauHotel，oneofthosehugeestablishmentswhichtheneedsofmoderntravelhavecreatedineveryattractivespotonthecontinent。 Therewasagreatgatheringatdinner，and，asusual，oneheardallsortsoflanguages。 Thetabled\'ho^tewasservedbywaitressesdressedinthequaintandcomelycostumeoftheSwisspeasants。 Thisconsistsofasimplegrosdelaine，trimmedwithashesofroses，withoverskirtofscarebleuventresaintgris，cutbiasontheoff-side，withfacingsofpetitpolonaiseandnarrowinsertionsofpa^tedefoiegrasbackstitchedtothemiseensce`neintheformofajeud\'esprit。Itgivestothewearerasingularlypiquantandalluringaspect。 Oneofthesewaitresses，awomanofforty，hadside-whiskersreachinghalf-waydownherjaws。 Theyweretwofingersbroad，darkincolor，prettythick，andthehairswereaninchlong。Oneseesmanywomenonthecontinentwithquiteconspicuousmustaches，butthiswastheonlywomanIsawwhohadreachedthedignityofwhiskers。 Afterdinnertheguestsofbothsexesdistributedthemselvesaboutthefrontporchesandtheornamentalgroundsbelongingtothehotel，toenjoythecoolair；but，asthetwilightdeepenedtowarddarkness，theygatheredthemselvestogetherinthatsaddestandsolemnestandmostconstrainedofallplaces，thegreatblankdrawing-roomwhichisthechieffeatureofallcontinentalsummerhotels。Theretheygroupedthemselvesabout，incouplesandthrees，andmumbledinbatedvoices，andlookedtimidandhomelessandforlorn。 Therewasasmallpianointhisroom，aclattery，wheezy，asthmaticthing，certainlytheveryworstmiscarriageinthewayofapianothattheworldhasseen。Inturn，fiveorsixdejectedandhomesickladiesapproacheditdoubtingly，gaveitasingleinquiringthump，andretiredwiththelockjaw。Butthebossofthatinstrumentwastocome，nevertheless；andfrommyowncountry——fromArkansaw。 Shewasabrand-newbride，innocent，girlish，happyinherselfandhergraveandworshipingstriplingofahusband；shewasabouteighteen，justoutofschool，freefromaffections，unconsciousofthatpassionlessmultitudearoundher； andtheveryfirsttimeshesmotethatoldwreckonerecognizedthatithadmetitsdestiny。Herstriplingbroughtanarmfulofagedsheet-musicfromtheirroom—— forthisbridewent\"heeled，\"asyoumightsay——andbenthimselflovinglyoverandgotreadytoturnthepages。 Thebridefetchedaswoopwithherfingersfromoneendofthekeyboardtotheother，justtogetherbearings，asitwere，andyoucouldseethecongregationsettheirteethwiththeagonyofit。Then，withoutanymorepreliminaries，sheturnedonallthehorrorsofthe\"BattleofPrague，\" thatvenerableshivaree，andwadedchin-deepinthebloodoftheslain。Shemadeafairandhonorableaverageoftwofalsenotesineveryfive，buthersoulwasinarmsandsheneverstoppedtocorrect。Theaudiencestooditwithprettyfairgritforawhile，butwhenthecannonadewaxedhotterandfiercer，andthediscordaveragerosetofourinfive，theprocessionbegantomove。 Afewstragglersheldtheirgroundtenminuteslonger，butwhenthegirlbegantowringthetrueinwardnessoutofthe\"criesofthewounded，\"theystrucktheircolorsandretiredinakindofpanic。 Thereneverwasacompletervictory；Iwastheonlynon-combatantleftonthefield。Iwouldnothavedesertedmycountrywomananyhow，butindeedIhadnodesiresinthatdirection。Noneofuslikemediocrity，butweallreverenceperfection。Thisgirl\'smusicwasperfectioninitsway；itwastheworstmusicthathadeverbeenachievedonourplanetbyamerehumanbeing。 Imovedupclose，andneverlostastrain。Whenshegotthrough，Iaskedhertoplayitagain。Shediditwithapleasedalacrityandaheightenedenthusiasm。 ShemadeitALLdiscords，thistime。Shegotanamountofanguishintothecriesofthewoundedthatshedanewlightonhumansuffering。Shewasonthewar-pathalltheevening。Allthetime，crowdsofpeoplegatheredontheporchesandpressedtheirnosesagainstthewindowstolookandmarvel，butthebravestneverventuredin。 Thebridewentoffsatisfiedandhappywithheryoungfellow，whenherappetitewasfinallygorged，andthetouristsswarmedinagain。 WhatachangehascomeoverSwitzerland，andinfactallEurope，duringthiscentury!SeventyoreightyyearsagoNapoleonwastheonlymaninEuropewhocouldreallybecalledatraveler；hewastheonlymanwhohaddevotedhisattentiontoitandtakenapowerfulinterestinit； hewastheonlymanwhohadtraveledextensively； butnoweverybodygoeseverywhere；andSwitzerland，andmanyotherregionswhichwereunvisitedandunknownremotenessesahundredyearsago，areinourdaysabuzzinghiveofrestlessstrangerseverysummer。 ButIdigress。 Inthemorning，whenwelookedoutofourwindows，wesawawonderfulsight。Acrossthevalley，andapparentlyquiteneighborlyandcloseathand，thegiantformoftheJungfraurosecoldandwhiteintotheclearsky，beyondagatewayinthenearerhighlands。 Itremindedme，somehow，ofoneofthosecolossalbillowswhichswellssuddenlyupbesideone\'sship，atsea，sometimes，withitscrestandshoulderssnowywhite，andtherestofitsnobleproportionsstreakeddownwardwithcreamyfoam。 Itookoutmysketch-bookandmadealittlepictureoftheJungfrau，merelytogettheshape。[Figure9] Idonotregardthisasoneofmyfinishedworks，infactI donotrankitamongmyWorksatall；itisonlyastudy； itishardlymorethanwhatonemightcallasketch。 Otherartistshavedonemethegracetoadmireit；butI amsevereinmyjudgmentsofmyownpictures，andthisonedoesnotmoveme。 ItwashardtobelievethatthatloftywoodedrampartontheleftwhichsoovertopstheJungfrauwasnotactuallythehigherofthetwo，butitwasnot，ofcourse。 Itisonlytwoorthreethousandfeethigh，andofcoursehasnosnowuponitinsummer，whereastheJungfrauisnotmuchshorteroffourteenthousandfeethighandthereforethatlowestvergeofsnowonherside，whichseemsnearlydowntothevalleylevel，isreallyaboutseventhousandfeethigherupintheairthanthesummitofthatwoodedrampart。 Itisthedistancethatmakesthedeception。Thewoodedheightisbutfourorfivemilesremovedfromus，buttheJungfrauisfourorfivetimesthatdistanceaway。 Walkingdownthestreetofshops，inthefore-noon，I wasattractedbyalargepicture，carved，frameandall，fromasingleblockofchocolate-coloredwood。 Therearepeoplewhoknoweverything。SomeofthesehadtoldusthatcontinentalshopkeepersalwaysraisetheirpricesonEnglishandAmericans。Manypeoplehadtoldusitwasexpensivetobuythingsthroughacourier，whereasIhadsupposeditwasjustthereverse。 WhenIsawthispicture，IconjecturedthatitwasworthmorethanthefriendIproposedtobuyitforwouldliketopay，butstillitwasworthwhiletoinquire； soItoldthecouriertostepinandasktheprice，asifhewanteditforhimself；ItoldhimnottospeakinEnglish，andaboveallnottorevealthefactthathewasacourier。 ThenImovedonafewyards，andwaited。 Thecouriercamepresentlyandreportedtheprice。 Isaidtomyself，\"Itisahundredfrancstoomuch，\" andsodismissedthematterfrommymind。ButintheafternoonIwaspassingthatplacewithHarris，andthepictureattractedmeagain。Westeppedin，toseehowmuchhigherbrokenGermanwouldraisetheprice。 Theshopwomannamedafigurejustahundredfrancslowerthanthecourierhadnamed。Thiswasapleasantsurprise。 IsaidIwouldtakeit。AfterIhadgivendirectionsastowhereitwastobeshipped，theshipped，theshopwomansaid，appealingly: \"Ifyourplease，donotletyourcourierknowyouboughtit。\" Thiswasanunexpectedremark。Isaid: \"WhatmakesyouthinkIhaveacourier?\" \"Ah，thatisverysimple；hetoldmehimself。\" \"Hewasverythoughtful。Buttellme——whydidyouchargehimmorethanyouarechargingme?\" \"Thatisverysimple，also:Idonothavetopayyouapercentage。\" \"Oh，Ibegintosee。Youwouldhavehadtopaythecourierapercentage。\" \"Undoubtedly。Thecourieralwayshashispercentage。 Inthiscaseitwouldhavebeenahundredfrancs。\" \"Thenthetradesmandoesnotpayapartofit—— thepurchaserpaysallofit?\" \"Thereareoccasionswhenthetradesmanandthecourieragreeuponapricewhichistwiceorthricethevalueofthearticle，thenthetwodivide，andbothgetapercentage。\" \"Isee。Butitseemstomethatthepurchaserdoesallthepaying，eventhen。\" \"Oh，tobesure!Itgoeswithoutsaying。\" \"ButIhaveboughtthispicturemyself；thereforewhyshouldn\'tthecourierknowit?\" Thewomanexclaimed，indistress: \"Ah，indeeditwouldtakeallmylittleprofit!Hewouldcomeanddemandhishundredfrancs，andIshouldhavetopay。\" \"Hehasnotdonethebuying。Youcouldrefuse。\" \"Icouldnotdaretorefuse。Hewouldneverbringtravelershereagain。Morethanthat，hewoulddenouncemetotheothercouriers，theywoulddivertcustomfromme，andmybusinesswouldbeinjured。\" Iwentawayinathoughtfulframeofmind。Ibegantoseewhyacouriercouldaffordtoworkforfifty-fivedollarsamonthandhisfares。AmonthortwolaterIwasabletounderstandwhyacourierdidnothavetopayanyboardandlodging，andwhymyhotelbillswerealwayslargerwhenIhadhimwithmethanwhenIlefthimbehind，somewhere，forafewdays。 Anotherthingwasalsoexplained，now，apparently。 InonetownIhadtakenthecouriertothebanktodothetranslatingwhenIdrewsomemoney。Ihadsatinthereading-roomtillthetransactionwasfinished。 Thenaclerkhadbroughtthemoneytomeinperson，andhadbeenexceedinglypolite，evengoingsofarastoprecedemetothedoorandholdingitopenformeandbowmeoutasifIhadbeenadistinguishedpersonage。 Itwasanewexperience。ExchangehadbeeninmyfavoreversinceIhadbeeninEurope，butjustthatonetime。 Igotsimplythefaceofmydraft，andnoextrafrancs，whereasIhadexpectedtogetquiteanumberofthem。 ThiswasthefirsttimeIhadeverusedthecourieratthebank。Ihadsuspectedsomethingthen，andaslongasheremainedwithmeafterwardImanagedbankmattersbymyself。 Still，ifIfeltthatIcouldaffordthetax，Iwouldnevertravelwithoutacourier，foragoodcourierisaconveniencewhosevaluecannotbeestimatedindollarsandcents。Withouthim，travelisabitterharassment，apurgatoryoflittleexasperatingannoyances，aceaselessandpitilesspunishment——Imeantoanirasciblemanwhohasnobusinesscapacityandisconfusedbydetails。 Withoutacourier，travelhasn\'tarayofpleasureinit，anywhere；butwithhimitisacontinuousandunruffleddelight。Heisalwaysathand，neverhastobesentfor；ifyourbellisnotansweredpromptly——anditseldomis——youhaveonlytoopenthedoorandspeak，thecourierwillhear，andhewillhavetheorderattendedtoorraiseaninsurrection。Youtellhimwhatdayyouwillstart，andwhitheryouaregoing——leavealltheresttohim。Youneednotinquireabouttrains，orfares，orcarchanges，orhotels，oranythingelse。 Atthepropertimehewillputyouinacaboranomnibus，anddriveyoutothetrainortheboat；hehaspackedyourluggageandtransferredit，hehaspaidallthebills。 Otherpeoplehaveprecededyouhalfanhourtoscrambleforimpossibleplacesandlosetheirtempers，butyoucantakeyourtime；thecourierhassecuredyourseatsforyou，andyoucanoccupythematyourleisure。 Atthestation，thecrowdmashoneanothertopulpintheefforttogettheweigher\'sattentiontotheirtrunks； theydisputehotlywiththesetyrants，whoarecoolandindifferent；theygettheirbaggagebillets，atlast，andthenhaveanothersqueezeandanotherrageoverthedishearteningbusinessoftryingtogetthemrecordedandpaidfor，andstillanotherovertheequallydishearteningbusinessoftryingtogetnearenoughtotheticketofficetobuyaticket；andnow，withtheirtempersgonetothedogs，theymuststandpennedupandpackedtogether，ladenwithwrapsandsatchelsandshawl-straps，withthewearywifeandbabies，inthewaiting-room，tillthedoorsarethrownopen——andthenallhandsmakeagrandfinalrushtothetrain，finditfull，andhavetostandontheplatformandfretuntilsomemorecarsareputon。 Theyareinaconditiontokillsomebodybythistime。 Meantime，youhavebeensittinginyourcar，smoking，andobservingallthismiseryintheextremestcomfort。 Onthejourneytheguardispoliteandwatchful——won\'tallowanybodytogetintoyourcompartment——tellsthemyouarejustrecoveringfromthesmall-poxanddonotliketobedisturbed。Forthecourierhasmadeeverythingrightwiththeguard。Atway-stationsthecouriercomestoyourcompartmenttoseeifyouwantaglassofwater，oranewspaper，oranything；ateating-stationshesendsluncheonouttoyou，whiletheotherpeoplescrambleandworryinthedining-rooms。Ifanythingbreaksaboutthecaryouarein，andastation-masterproposestopackyouandyouragentintoacompartmentwithstrangers，thecourierrevealstohimconfidentiallythatyouareaFrenchdukeborndeafanddumb，andtheofficialcomesandmakesaffablesignsthathehasorderedachoicecartobeaddedtothetrainforyou。 Atcustom-housesthemultitudefiletediouslythrough，hotandirritated，andlookonwhiletheofficersburrowintothetrunksandmakeamessofeverything； butyouhandyourkeystothecourierandsitstill。 Perhapsyouarriveatyourdestinationinarain-stormattenatnight——yougenerallydo。Themultitudespendhalfanhourverifyingtheirbaggageandgettingittransferredtotheomnibuses；butthecourierputsyouintoavehiclewithoutamoment\'slossoftime，andwhenyoureachyourhotelyoufindyourroomshavebeensecuredtwoorthreedaysinadvance，everythingisready，youcangoatoncetobed。Someofthoseotherpeoplewillhavetodriftaroundtotwoorthreehotels，intherain，beforetheyfindaccommodations。 Ihavenotsetdownhalfofthevirtuesthatarevestedinagoodcourier，butIthinkIhavesetdownasufficiencyofthemtoshowthatanirritablemanwhocanaffordoneanddoesnotemployhimisnotawiseeconomist。MycourierwastheworstoneinEurope，yethewasagooddealbetterthannoneatall。 Itcouldnotpayhimtobeabetteronethanhewas，becauseIcouldnotaffordtobuythingsthroughhim。 Hewasagoodenoughcourierforthesmallamounthegotoutofhisservice。Yes，totravelwithacourierisbliss，totravelwithoutoneisthereverse。 Ihavehaddealingswithsomeverybadcouriers；butIhavealsohaddealingswithonewhomightfairlybecalledperfection。 HewasayoungPolander，namedJosephN。Verey。Hespokeeightlanguages，andseemedtobeequallyathomeinallofthem；hewasshrewd，prompt，posted，andpunctual； hewasfertileinresources，andsingularlygiftedinthematterofovercomingdifficulties；henotonlyknewhowtodoeverythinginhisline，butheknewthebestwaysandthequickest；hewashandywithchildrenandinvalids； allhisemployerneededtodowastotakelifeeasyandleaveeverythingtothecourier。Hisaddressis，careofMessrs。Gay&Son，Strand，London；hewasformerlyaconductorofGay\'stouristparties。Excellentcouriersaresomewhatrare；ifthereaderisabouttotravel，hewillfindittohisadvantagetomakeanoteofthisone。 CHAPTERXXXIII [WeClimbFar——byBuggy] ThebeautifulGiesbachFallisnearInterlaken，ontheothersideofthelakeofBrienz，andisilluminatedeverynightwiththosegorgeoustheatricalfireswhosenameIcannotcalljustatthismoment。Thiswassaidtobeaspectaclewhichthetouristoughtbynomeanstomiss。Iwasstronglytempted，butIcouldnotgotherewithpropriety，becauseonegoesinaboat。 ThetaskwhichIhadsetmyselfwastowalkoverEuropeonfoot，notskimoveritinaboat。Ihadmadeatacitcontractwithmyself；itwasmydutytoabidebyit。 Iwaswillingtomakeboattripsforpleasure，butIcouldnotconscientiouslymaketheminthewayofbusiness。 Itcostmesomethingofapangtolosethatfinesight，butIliveddownthedesire，andgainedinmyself-respectthroughthetriumph。Ihadafinerandagrandersight，however，whereIwas。ThiswasthemightydomeoftheJungfrausoftlyoutlinedagainsttheskyandfaintlysilveredbythestarlight。Therewassomethingsubduingintheinfluenceofthatsilentandsolemnandawfulpresence；oneseemedtomeettheimmutable，theindestructible，theeternal，facetoface，andtofeelthetrivialandfleetingnatureofhisownexistencethemoresharplybythecontrast。 Onehadthesenseofbeingunderthebroodingcontemplationofaspirit，notaninertmassofrocksandice——aspiritwhichhadlookeddown，throughtheslowdriftoftheages，uponamillionvanishedracesofmen，andjudgedthem； andwouldjudgeamillionmore——andstillbethere，watching，unchangedandunchangeable，afteralllifeshouldbegoneandtheearthhavebecomeavacantdesolation。