第12章

MynameisLykins。I\'moneoftheteachersofthehighschool——SanFrancisco。AssoonasIheardtheSanFranciscopostmastershipwasvacant，Imadeupmymindtogetit——andhereIam。\" \"Yes，\"saidRiley，slowly，\"asyouhaveremarked…… Mr。Lykins……hereyouare。Andhaveyougotit?\" \"Well，notexactlyGOTit，butthenextthingtoit。 I\'vebroughtapetition，signedbytheSuperintendentofPublicInstruction，andalltheteachers，andbymorethantwohundredotherpeople。NowIwantyou，ifyou\'llbesogood，togoaroundwithmetothePacificdelegation，forIwanttorushthisthingthroughandgetalonghome。\" \"Ifthematterissopressing，youwillpreferthatwevisitthedelegationtonight，\"saidRiley，inavoicewhichhadnothingmockinginit——toanunaccustomedear。 \"Oh，tonight，byallmeans!Ihaven\'tgotanytimetofoolaround。IwanttheirpromisebeforeIgotobed—— Iain\'tthetalkingkind，I\'mtheDOINGkind!\" \"Yes……you\'vecometotherightplaceforthat。 Whendidyouarrive?\" \"Justanhourago。\" \"Whenareyouintendingtoleave?\" \"ForNewYorktomorrowevening——forSanFrancisconextmorning。\" \"Justso……Whatareyougoingtodotomorrow?\" \"DO!Why，I\'vegottogotothePresidentwiththepetitionandthedelegation，andgettheappointment，haven\'tI?\" \"Yes……verytrue……thatiscorrect。Andthenwhat?\" \"ExecutivesessionoftheSenateat2P。M——gottogettheappointmentconfirmed——Ireckonyou\'llgrantthat?\" \"Yes……yes，\"saidRiley，meditatively，\"youarerightagain。ThenyoutakethetrainforNewYorkintheevening，andthesteamerforSanFrancisconextmorning?\" \"That\'sit——that\'sthewayImapitout!\" Rileyconsideredawhile，andthensaid: \"Youcouldn\'tstay……aday……well，saytwodayslonger?\" \"Blessyoursoul，no!It\'snotmystyle。Iain\'tamantogofoolingaround——I\'mamanthatDOESthings，Itellyou。\" Thestormwasraging，thethicksnowblowingingusts。 Rileystoodsilent，apparentlydeepinareverie，duringaminuteormore，thenhelookedupandsaid: \"HaveyoueverheardaboutthatmanwhoputupatGadsby\'s，once?……ButIseeyouhaven\'t。\" HebackedMr。Lykinsagainstanironfence，buttonholedhim，fastenedhimwithhiseye，liketheAncientMariner，andproceededtounfoldhisnarrativeasplacidlyandpeacefullyasifwewereallstretchedcomfortablyinablossomysummermeadowinsteadofbeingpersecutedbyawintrymidnighttempest: \"Iwilltellyouaboutthatman。ItwasinJackson\'stime。 Gadsby\'swastheprincipalhotel，then。Well，thismanarrivedfromTennesseeaboutnineo\'clock，onemorning，withablackcoachmanandasplendidfour-horsecarriageandanelegantdog，whichhewasevidentlyfondofandproudof； hedroveupbeforeGadsby\'s，andtheclerkandthelandlordandeverybodyrushedouttotakechargeofhim，buthesaid，\'Nevermind，\'andjumpedoutandtoldthecoachmantowait——saidhehadn\'ttimetotakeanythingtoeat，heonlyhadalittleclaimagainstthegovernmenttocollect，wouldrunacrosstheway，totheTreasury，andfetchthemoney，andthengetrightalongbacktoTennessee，forhewasinconsiderableofahurry。 \"Well，abouteleveno\'clockthatnighthecamebackandorderedabedandtoldthemtoputthehorsesup——saidhewouldcollecttheclaiminthemorning。 ThiswasinJanuary，youunderstand——January，1834—— the3dofJanuary——Wednesday。 \"Well，onthe5thofFebruary，hesoldthefinecarriage，andboughtacheapsecond-handone——saiditwouldanswerjustaswelltotakethemoneyhomein，andhedidn\'tcareforstyle。 \"Onthe11thofAugusthesoldapairofthefinehorses—— saidhe\'doftenthoughtapairwasbetterthanfour，togoovertheroughmountainroadswithwhereabodyhadtobecarefulabouthisdriving——andtherewasn\'tsomuchofhisclaimbuthecouldlugthemoneyhomewithapaireasyenough。 \"Onthe13thofDecemberhesoldanotherhorse——saidtwowarn\'tnecessarytodragthatoldlightvehiclewith——infact，onecouldsnatchitalongfasterthanwasabsolutelynecessary，nowthatitwasgoodsolidwinterweatherandtheroadsinsplendidcondition。 \"Onthe17thofFebruary，1835，hesoldtheoldcarriageandboughtacheapsecond-handbuggy——saidabuggywasjustthetricktoskimalongmushy，slushyearlyspringroadswith，andhehadalwayswantedtotryabuggyonthosemountainroads，anyway。 \"Onthe1stAugusthesoldthebuggyandboughttheremainsofanoldsulky——saidhejustwantedtoseethosegreenTennesseansstareandgawkwhentheysawhimcomea-rippingalonginasulky——didn\'tbelievethey\'deverheardofasulkyintheirlives。 \"Well，onthe29thofAugusthesoldhiscoloredcoachman——saidhedidn\'tneedacoachmanforasulky—— wouldn\'tberoomenoughfortwoinitanyway——and，besides，itwasn\'teverydaythatProvidencesentamanafoolwhowaswillingtopayninehundreddollarsforsuchathird-ratenegroasthat——beenwantingtogetridofthecreatureforyears，butdidn\'tliketoTHROWhimaway。 \"Eighteenmonthslater——thatistosay，onthe15thofFebruary，1837——hesoldthesulkyandboughtasaddle——saidhorseback-ridingwaswhatthedoctorhadalwaysrecommendedHIMtotake，anddog\'difhewantedtoriskHISneckgoingoverthosemountainroadsonwheelsinthedeadofwinter，notifheknewhimself。 \"Onthe9thofAprilhesoldthesaddle——saidhewasn\'tgoingtoriskHISlifewithanyperishablesaddle-girththateverwasmade，overarainy，miryAprilroad，whilehecouldridebarebackandknowandfeelhewassafe——alwaysHADdespisedtorideonasaddle，anyway。 \"Onthe24thofAprilhesoldhishorse——said\'I\'mjustfifty-seventoday，haleandhearty——itwouldbeaPRETTY howdy-doformetobewastingsuchatripasthatandsuchweatherasthis，onahorse，whenthereain\'tanythingintheworldsosplendidasatramponfootthroughthefreshspringwoodsandoverthecheerymountains，toamanthatISaman——andIcanmakemydogcarrymyclaiminalittlebundle，anyway，whenit\'scollected。 SotomorrowI\'llbeupbrightandearly，makemylittleoldcollection，andmoseyofftoTennessee，onmyownhindlegs，witharousinggood-bytoGadsby\'s。\' \"Onthe22dofJunehesoldhisdog——said\'Dernadog，anyway，whereyou\'rejuststartingoffonarattlingbullypleasuretrampthroughthesummerwoodsandhills——perfectnuisance——chasesthesquirrels，barksateverything，goesa-caperingandsplatteringaroundinthefords—— mancan\'tgetanychancetoreflectandenjoynature—— andI\'dablamedsightruthercarrytheclaimmyself，it\'samightysightsafer；adog\'smightyuncertaininafinancialway——alwaysnoticedit——well，GOOD-by，boys——lastcall——I\'moffforTennesseewithagoodlegandagayheart，earlyinthemorning。\'\" Therewasapauseandasilence——exceptthenoiseofthewindandthepeltingsnow。Mr。Lykinssaid，impatiently: \"Well?\" Rileysaid: \"Well，——thatwasthirtyyearsago。\" \"Verywell，verywell——whatofit?\" \"I\'mgreatfriendswiththatoldpatriarch。Hecomeseveryeveningtotellmegood-by。Isawhimanhourago—— he\'soffforTennesseeearlytomorrowmorning——asusual； saidhecalculatedtogethisclaimthroughandbeoffbeforenight-owlslikemehaveturnedoutofbed。 Thetearswereinhiseyes，hewassogladhewasgoingtoseehisoldTennesseeandhisfriendsoncemore。\" Anothersilentpause。Thestrangerbrokeit: \"Isthatall?\" \"Thatisall。\" \"Well，fortheTIMEofnight，andtheKINDofnight，itseemstomethestorywasfulllongenough。Butwhat\'sitallFOR?\" \"Oh，nothinginparticular。\" \"Well，where\'sthepointofit?\" \"Oh，thereisn\'tanyparticularpointtoit。Only，ifyouarenotinTOOmuchofahurrytorushofftoSanFranciscowiththatpost-officeappointment，Mr。Lykins，I\'dadviseyouto\'PUTUPATGADSBY\'S\'foraspell，andtakeiteasy。 Good-by。GODblessyou!\" Sosaying，Rileyblandlyturnedonhisheelandlefttheastonishedschool-teacherstandingthere，amusingandmotionlesssnowimageshininginthebroadglowofthestreet-lamp。 Henevergotthatpost-office。 TogobacktoLucerneanditsfishers，Iconcluded，afteraboutninehours\'waiting，thatthemanwhoproposestotarrytillheseessomethinghookoneofthosewell-fedandexperiencedfisheswillfinditwisdomto\"putupatGadsby\'s\"andtakeiteasy。Itislikelythatafishhasnotbeencaughtonthatlakepierforfortyyears； butnomatter，thepatientfisherwatcheshiscorkthereallthedaylong，justthesame，andseemstoenjoyit。 Onemayseethefisher-loafersjustasthickandcontentedandhappyandpatientallalongtheSeineatParis，buttraditionsaysthattheonlythingevercaughtthereinmoderntimesisathingtheydon\'tfishforatall——therecentdogandthetranslatedcat。 CHAPTERXXVII [ISpareanAwfulBore] ClosebytheLionofLucerneiswhattheycallthe\"GlacierGarden\"——anditistheonlyoneintheworld。 Itisonhighground。Fourorfiveyearsago，someworkmenwhowerediggingfoundationsforahousecameuponthisinterestingrelicofalong-departedage。 Scientificmenperceivedinitaconfirmationoftheirtheoriesconcerningtheglacialperiod；sothroughtheirpersuasionsthelittletractofgroundwasboughtandpermanentlyprotectedagainstbeingbuiltupon。 Thesoilwasremoved，andtherelaytheraspedandgutteredtrackwhichtheancientglacierhadmadeasitmovedalonguponitsslowandtediousjourney。Thistrackwasperforatedbyhugepot-shapedholesinthebed-rock，formedbythefuriouswashing-aroundinthemofbouldersbytheturbulenttorrentwhichflowsbeneathallglaciers。 Thesehugeroundbouldersstillremainintheholes； theyandthewallsoftheholesarewornsmoothbythelong-continuedchafingwhichtheygaveeachotherinthoseolddays。Ittookamightyforcetochurnthesebiglumpsofstonearoundinthatvigorousway。 Theneighboringcountryhadaverydifferentshape，atthattime——thevalleyshaverisenupandbecomehills，since，andthehillshavebecomevalleys。Thebouldersdiscoveredinthepotshadtraveledagreatdistance，forthereisnorocklikethemnearerthanthedistantRhoneGlacier。 ForsomedayswewerecontenttoenjoylookingatthebluelakeLucerneandatthepiled-upmassesofsnow-mountainsthatborderitallaround——anenticingspectacle，thislast，forthereisastrangeandfascinatingbeautyandcharmaboutamajesticsnow-peakwiththesunblazinguponitorthemoonlightsoftlyenrichingit——butfinallyweconcludedtotryabitofexcursioningaroundonasteamboat，andadashonfootattheRigi。Verywell，wehadadelightfultriptoFluelen，onabreezy，sunnyday。 Everybodysatontheupperdeck，onbenches，underanawning； everybodytalked，laughed，andexclaimedatthewonderscenery； intruth，atriponthatlakeisalmosttheperfectionofpleasuring。Themountainswereanever-ceasingmarvel。 Sometimestheyrosestraightupoutofthelake，andtoweredaloftandovershadowedourpygmysteamerwiththeirprodigiousbulkinthemostimpressiveway。 Notsnow-cladmountains，these，yettheyclimbedhighenoughtowardtheskytomeetthecloudsandveiltheirforeheadsinthem。Theywerenotbarrenandrepulsive，butclothedingreen，andrestfulandpleasanttotheeye。 Andtheyweresoalmoststraight-up-and-down，sometimes，thatonecouldnotimagineamanbeingabletokeephisfootinguponsuchasurface，yettherearepaths，andtheSwisspeoplegoupanddownthemeveryday。 Sometimesoneofthesemonsterprecipiceshadtheslightinclinationofthehugeship-housesindockyards—— thenhighaloft，towardthesky，ittookalittlestrongerinclination，likethatofamansardroof——andperchedonthisdizzymansardone\'seyedetectedlittlethingslikemartinboxes，andpresentlyperceivedthatthesewerethedwellingsofpeasants——anairyplaceforahome，truly。Andsupposeapeasantshouldwalkinhissleep，orhischildshouldfalloutofthefrontyard?——thefriendswouldhaveatediouslongjourneydownoutofthosecloud-heightsbeforetheyfoundtheremains。 Andyetthosefar-awayhomeslookedeversoseductive，theyweresoremotefromthetroubledworld，theydozedinsuchanatmosphereofpeaceanddreams——surelynoonewhohaslearnedtoliveuptherewouldeverwanttoliveonameanerlevel。 Wesweptthroughtheprettiestlittlecurvingarmsofthelake，amongthesecolossalgreenwalls，enjoyingnewdelights，always，asthestatelypanoramaunfoldeditselfbeforeusandrerolledandhiditselfbehindus；andnowandthenwehadthethrillingsurpriseofburstingsuddenlyuponatremendouswhitemasslikethedistantanddominatingJungfrau，orsomekindredgiant，loomingheadandshouldersaboveatumbledwasteoflesserAlps。 Once，whileIwashungrilytakinginoneofthesesurprises，anddoingmybesttogetallIpossiblycouldofitwhileitshouldlast，Iwasinterruptedbyayoungandcare-freevoice: \"You\'reanAmerican，Ithink——so\'mI。\" Hewasabouteighteen，orpossiblynineteen；slenderandofmediumheight；open，frank，happyface；arestlessbutindependenteye；asnubnose，whichhadtheairofdrawingbackwithadecentreservefromthesilkynew-bornmustachebelowituntilitshouldbeintroduced； alooselyhungjaw，calculatedtoworkeasilyinthesockets。 Heworealow-crowned，narrow-brimmedstrawhat，withabroadblueribbonarounditwhichhadawhiteanchorembroideredonitinfront；nobbyshort-tailedcoat，pantaloons，vest，alltrimandneatandupwiththefashion；red-stripedstockings，verylow-quarterpatent-leathershoes，tiedwithblackribbon；blueribbonaroundhisneck，wide-opencollar；tinydiamondstuds； wrinklelesskids；projectingcuffs，fastenedwithlargeoxidizedsilversleeve-buttons，bearingthedeviceofadog\'sface——Englishpug。Hecarriesaslimcane，surmountedwithanEnglishpug\'sheadwithredglasseyes。 UnderhisarmhecarriedaGermangrammar——Otto\'s。Hishairwasshort，straight，andsmooth，andpresentlywhenheturnedhisheadamoment，Isawthatitwasnicelypartedbehind。 Hetookacigaretteoutofadaintybox，stuckitintoameerschaumholderwhichhecarriedinamoroccocase，andreachedformycigar。Whilehewaslighting，Isaid: \"Yes——IamanAmerican。\" \"Iknewit——Icanalwaystellthem。Whatshipdidyoucomeoverin?\" \"HOLSATIA。\" \"WecameintheBATAVIA——Cunard，youknow。Whatkindofpassagedidyouhave?\" \"Tolerablyrough。\" \"Sodidwe。Captainsaidhe\'dhardlyeverseenitrougher。 Whereareyoufrom?\" \"NewEngland。\" \"So\'mI。I\'mfromNewBloomfield。Anybodywithyou?\" \"Yes——afriend。\" \"Ourwholefamily\'salong。It\'sawfulslow，goingaroundalone——don\'tyouthinkso?\" \"Ratherslow。\" \"Everbeenoverherebefore?\" \"Yes。\" \"Ihaven\'t。Myfirsttrip。Butwe\'vebeenallaround——Parisandeverywhere。I\'mtoenterHarvardnextyear。 StudyingGermanallthetime，now。Can\'tentertillI knowGerman。IknowconsiderableFrench——IgetalongprettywellinParis，oranywherewheretheyspeakFrench。 Whathotelareyoustoppingat?\" \"Schweitzerhof。\" \"No!isthatso?Ineverseeyouinthereception-room。 Igotothereception-roomagooddealofthetime，becausethere\'ssomanyAmericansthere。Imakelotsofacquaintances。IknowanAmericanassoonasIseehim——andsoIspeaktohimandmakehisacquaintance。 Iliketobealwaysmakingacquaintances——don\'tyou?\" \"Lord，yes!\" \"Youseeitbreaksupatriplikethis，firstrate。 Inevergotboredonatriplikethis，ifIcanmakeacquaintancesandhavesomebodytotalkto。 ButIthinkatriplikethiswouldbeanawfulbore，ifabodycouldn\'tfindanybodytogetacquaintedwithandtalktoonatriplikethis。I\'mfondoftalking，ain\'tyou? \"Passionately。\" \"Haveyoufeltbored，onthistrip?\" \"Notallthetime，partofit。\" \"That\'sit!——youseeyououghttogoaroundandgetacquainted，andtalk。That\'smyway。That\'sthewayIalwaysdo——I justgo\'round，\'round，\'roundandtalk，talk，talk——I nevergetbored。YoubeenuptheRigiyet?\" \"No。\" \"Going?\" \"Ithinkso。\" \"Whathotelyougoingtostopat?\" \"Idon\'tknow。Istheremorethanone?\" \"Three。YoustopattheSchreiber——you\'llfinditfullofAmericans。Whatshipdidyousayyoucameoverin?\" \"CITYOFANTWERP。\" \"German，Iguess。YougoingtoGeneva?\" \"Yes。\" \"Whathotelyougoingtostopat?\" \"Hoteldel\'\'EcudeG\'en`eve。\" \"Don\'tyoudoit!NoAmericansthere!Youstopatoneofthosebighotelsoverthebridge——they\'repackedfullofAmericans。\" \"ButIwanttopracticemyArabic。\" \"Goodgracious，doyouspeakArabic?\" \"Yes——wellenoughtogetalong。\" \"Why，hangit，youwon\'tgetalonginGeneva——THEYdon\'tspeakArabic，theyspeakFrench。Whathotelareyoustoppingathere?\" \"HotelPension-Beaurivage。\" \"Sho，yououghttostopattheSchweitzerhof。Didn\'tyouknowtheSchweitzerhofwasthebesthotelinSwitzerland?—— lookatyourBaedeker。\" \"Yes，Iknow——butIhadanideatherewarn\'tanyAmericansthere。\" \"NoAmericans!Why，blessyoursoul，it\'sjustalivewiththem!I\'minthegreatreception-roommostallthetime。 Imakelotsofacquaintancesthere。NotasmanyasIdidatfirst，becausenowonlythenewonesstopinthere—— theothersgorightalongthrough。Whereareyoufrom?\" \"Arkansaw。\" \"Isthatso?I\'mfromNewEngland——NewBloomfield\'smytownwhenI\'mathome。I\'mhavingamightygoodtimetoday，ain\'tyou?\" \"Divine。\" \"That\'swhatIcallit。Ilikethisknockingaround，looseandeasy，andmakingacquaintancesandtalking。 IknowanAmerican，soonasIseehim；soIgoandspeaktohimandmakehisacquaintance。Iain\'teverbored，onatriplikethis，ifIcanmakenewacquaintancesandtalk。 I\'mawfulfondoftalkingwhenIcangetholdoftherightkindofaperson，ain\'tyou?\" \"Ipreferittoanyotherdissipation。\" \"That\'smynotion，too。Nowsomepeopleliketotakeabookandsitdownandread，andread，andread，ormoonaroundyawpingatthelakeorthesemountainsandthings，butthatain\'tmyway；no，sir，iftheylikeit，let\'emdoit，Idon\'tobject；butasforme，talking\'swhat_I_like。 YoubeenuptheRigi?\" \"Yes。\" \"Whathoteldidyoustopat?\" \"Schreiber。\" \"That\'stheplace!——Istoppedtheretoo。FULLofAmericans，WASN\'Tit?Italwaysis——alwaysis。That\'swhattheysay。 Everybodysaysthat。Whatshipdidyoucomeoverin?\" \"VILLEDEPARIS。\" \"French，Ireckon。Whatkindofapassagedid……excusemeaminute，there\'ssomeAmericansIhaven\'tseenbefore。\" Andawayhewent。Hewentuninjured，too——Ihadthemurderousimpulsetoharpoonhiminthebackwithmyalpenstock，butasIraisedtheweaponthedispositionleftme； IfoundIhadn\'tthehearttokillhim，hewassuchajoyous，innocent，good-naturednumbskull。 HalfanhourlaterIwassittingonabenchinspecting，withstronginterest，anoblemonolithwhichwewereskimmingby——amonolithnotshapedbyman，butbyNature\'sfreegreathand——amassypyramidalrockeightyfeethigh，devisedbyNaturetenmillionyearsagoagainstthedaywhenamanworthyofitshouldneeditforhismonument。 Thetimecameatlast，andnowthisgrandremembrancerbearsSchiller\'snameinhugelettersuponitsface。 Curiouslyenough，thisrockwasnotdegradedordefiledinanyway。Itissaidthattwoyearsagoastrangerlethimselfdownfromthetopofitwithropesandpulleys，andpaintedalloverit，inbluelettersbiggerthanthoseinSchiller\'sname，thesewords: \"TrySozodont；\"\"BuySunStovePolish；\"\"Helmbold\'sBuchu；\" \"TryBenzalinefortheBlood。\" HewascapturedanditturnedoutthathewasanAmerican。 Uponhistrialthejudgesaidtohim: \"YouarefromalandwhereanyinsolentthatwantstoisprivilegedtoprofaneandinsultNature，and，throughher，Nature\'sGod，ifbysodoinghecanputasordidpennyinhispocket。Butherethecaseisdifferent。Becauseyouareaforeignerandignorant，Iwillmakeyoursentencelight； ifyouwereanativeIwoulddealstrenuouslywithyou。 Hearandobey:——YouwillimmediatelyremoveeverytraceofyouroffensiveworkfromtheSchillermonument；youpayafineoftenthousandfrancs；youwillsuffertwoyears\' imprisonmentathardlabor；youwillthenbehorsewhipped，tarredandfeathered，deprivedofyourears，riddenonarailtotheconfinesofthecanton，andbanishedforever。 Theseverestpenaltiesareomittedinyourcase——notasagracetoyou，buttothatgreatrepublicwhichhadthemisfortunetogiveyoubirth。\" Thesteamer\'sbencheswererangedbacktobackacrossthedeck。Mybackhairwasminglinginnocentlywiththebackhairofacoupleofladies。PresentlytheywereaddressedbysomeoneandIoverheardthisconversation: \"YouareAmericans，Ithink?So\'mI。\" \"Yes——weareAmericans。\" \"Iknewit——Icanalwaystellthem。Whatshipdidyoucomeoverin?\" \"CITYOFCHESTER。\" \"Oh，yes——Inmanline。WecameintheBATAVIA——Cunardyouknow。Whatkindofapassagedidyouhave?\" \"Prettyfair。\" \"Thatwasluck。Wehaditawfulrough。Captainsaidhe\'dhardlyseenitrougher。Whereareyoufrom?\" \"NewJersey。\" \"So\'mI。No——Ididn\'tmeanthat；I\'mfromNewEngland。 NewBloomfield\'smyplace。Theseyourchildren?——belongtobothofyou?\" \"Onlytooneofus；theyaremine；myfriendisnotmarried。\" \"Single，Ireckon?So\'mI。Areyoutwoladiestravelingalone?\" \"No——myhusbandiswithus。\" \"Ourwholefamily\'salong。It\'sawfulslow，goingaroundalone——don\'tyouthinkso?\" \"Isupposeitmustbe。\" \"Hi，there\'sMountPilatuscominginsightagain。 NamedafterPontiusPilate，youknow，thatshottheappleoffofWilliamTell\'shead。Guide-booktellsallaboutit，theysay。Ididn\'treadit——anAmericantoldme。Idon\'treadwhenI\'mknockingaroundlikethis，havingagoodtime。 DidyoueverseethechapelwhereWilliamTellusedtopreach?\" \"Ididnotknowheeverpreachedthere。\" \"Oh，yes，hedid。ThatAmericantoldmeso。Hedon\'tevershutuphisguide-book。Heknowsmoreaboutthislakethanthefishesinit。Besides，theyCALLit\'Tell\'sChapel\'——youknowthatyourself。Youeverbeenoverherebefore?\" \"Yes。\" \"Ihaven\'t。It\'smyfirsttrip。Butwe\'vebeenallaround——Parisandeverywhere。I\'mtoenterHarvardnextyear。 StudyingGermanallthetimenow。Can\'tentertillI knowGerman。Thisbook\'sOtto\'sgrammar。It\'samightygoodbooktogettheICHHABEGEHABTHABEN\'soutof。 ButIdon\'treallystudywhenI\'mknockingaroundthisway。 Ifthenotiontakesme，IjustrunovermylittleoldICHHAVEGEHABT，DUHASTGEHABT，ERHATGEHABT，WIRHABENGEHABT，IHRHABENGEHABT，SIEHABENGEHABT—— kindof\'Now-I-lay-me-down-to-sleep\'fashion，youknow，andafterthat，maybeIdon\'tbuckletoitforthreedays。 It\'sawfulunderminingtotheintellect，Germanis； youwanttotakeitinsmalldoses，orfirstyouknowyourbrainsallruntogether，andyoufeelthemsloshingaroundinyourheadsameassomuchdrawnbutter。 ButFrenchisdifferent；FRENCHain\'tanything。Iain\'tanymoreafraidofFrenchthanatramp\'safraidofpie；IcanrattleoffmylittleJ\'AI，TUAS，ILA，andtherestofit，justaseasyasa-b-c。IgetalongprettywellinParis，oranywherewheretheyspeakFrench。Whathotelareyoustoppingat?\" \"TheSchweitzerhof。\" \"No!isthatso?Ineverseeyouinthebigreception-room。 Igointhereagooddealofthetime，becausethere\'ssomanyAmericansthere。Imakelotsofacquaintances。 YoubeenuptheRigiyet?\" \"No。\" \"Going?\" \"Wethinkofit。\" \"Whathotelyougoingtostopat?\" \"Idon\'tknow。\" \"Well，thenyoustopattheSchreiber——it\'sfullofAmericans。 Whatshipdidyoucomeoverin?\" \"CITYOFCHESTER。\" \"Oh，yes，IrememberIaskedyouthatbefore。ButI alwaysaskeverybodywhatshiptheycameoverin，andsosometimesIforgetandaskagain。YougoingtoGeneva?\" \"Yes。\" \"Whathotelyougoingtostopat?\" \"Weexpecttostopinapension。\" \"Idon\'thardlybelieveyou\'lllikethat；there\'sveryfewAmericansinthepensions。Whathotelareyoustoppingathere?\" \"TheSchweitzerhof。\" \"Oh，yes。Iaskedyouthatbefore，too。ButIalwaysaskeverybodywhathotelthey\'restoppingat，andsoI\'vegotmyheadallmixedupwithhotels。Butitmakestalk，andIlovetotalk。Itrefreshesmeupso——don\'tityou——onatriplikethis?\" \"Yes——sometimes。\" \"Well，itdoesme，too。AslongasI\'mtalkingIneverfeelbored——ain\'tthatthewaywithyou?\" \"Yes——generally。Butthereareexceptiontotherule。\" \"Oh，ofcourse。_I_don\'tcaretotalktoeverybody，MYSELF。 Ifapersonstartsintojabber-jabber-jabberaboutscenery，andhistory，andpictures，andallsortsoftiresomethings，Igetthefan-todsmightysoon。Isay\'Well，Imustbegoingnow——hopeI\'llseeyouagain\'——andthenItakeawalk。Whereyoufrom?\" \"NewJersey。\" \"Why，botheritall，IaskedyouTHATbefore，too。 HaveyouseentheLionofLucerne?\" \"Notyet。\" \"NorI，either。ButthemanwhotoldmeaboutMountPilatussaysit\'soneofthethingstosee。 It\'stwenty-eightfeetlong。Itdon\'tseemreasonable，buthesaidso，anyway。Hesawityesterday；saiditwasdying，then，soIreckonit\'sdeadbythistime。 Butthatain\'tanymatter，ofcoursethey\'llstuffit。 Didyousaythechildrenareyours——orHERS?\" \"Mine。\" \"Oh，soyoudid。Areyougoingupthe……no，Iaskedyouthat。Whatship……no，Iaskedyouthat，too。 Whathotelareyou……no，youtoldmethat。 Letmesee……um……Oh，whatkindofvoy……no，we\'vebeenoverthatground，too。Um……um……well，Ibelievethatisall。BONJOUR——Iamverygladtohavemadeyouracquaintance，ladies。GUTENTAG。\" CHAPTERXXVIII [TheJodelandItsNativeWilds] TheRigi-KulmisanimposingAlpinemass，sixthousandfeethigh，whichstandsbyitself，andcommandsamightyprospectofbluelakes，greenvalleys，andsnowymountains—— acompactandmagnificentpicturethreehundredmilesincircumference。Theascentismadebyrail，orhorseback，oronfoot，asonemayprefer。Iandmyagentpanopliedourselvesinwalking-costume，onebrightmorning，andstarteddownthelakeonthesteamboat；wegotashoreatthevillageofWa\"ggis；three-quartersofanhourdistantfromLucerne。Thisvillageisatthefootofthemountain。 Weweresoontrampingleisurelyuptheleafymule-path，andthenthetalkbegantoflow，asusual。Itwastwelveo\'clocknoon，andabreezy，cloudlessday； theascentwasgradual，andtheglimpses，fromunderthecurtainingboughs，ofbluewater，andtinysailboats，andbeetlingcliffs，wereascharmingasglimpsesofdreamland。 Allthecircumstanceswereperfect——andtheanticipations，too，forweshouldsoonbeenjoying，forthefirsttime，thatwonderfulspectacle，anAlpinesunrise——theobjectofourjourney。Therewas(apparently)norealneedforhurry，fortheguide-bookmadethewalking-distancefromWa\"ggistothesummitonlythreehoursandaquarter。 Isay\"apparently，\"becausetheguide-bookhadalreadyfooledusonce——aboutthedistancefromAllerheiligentoOppenau——andforaughtIknewitmightbegettingreadytofoolusagain。Wewereonlycertainastothealtitudes—— wecalculatedtofindoutforourselveshowmanyhoursitisfromthebottomtothetop。Thesummitissixthousandfeetabovethesea，butonlyforty-fivehundredfeetabovethelake。Whenwehadwalkedhalfanhour，wewerefairlyintotheswingandhumoroftheundertaking，soweclearedforaction；thatistosay，wegotaboywhomwemettocarryouralpenstocksandsatchelsandovercoatsandthingsforus；thatleftusfreeforbusiness。 Isupposewemusthavestoppedoftenertostretchoutonthegrassintheshadeandtakeabitofasmokethanthisboywasusedto，forpresentlyheaskedifithadbeenourideatohirehimbythejob，orbytheyear? Wetoldhimhecouldmovealongifhewasinahurry。 Hesaidhewasn\'tinsuchaveryparticularhurry，buthewantedtogettothetopwhilehewasyoung。 Wetoldhimtoclearout，then，andleavethethingsattheuppermosthotelandsayweshouldbealongpresently。 Hesaidhewouldsecureusahotelifhecould，butiftheywereallfullhewouldaskthemtobuildanotheroneandhurryupandgetthepaintandplasterdryagainstwearrived。Stillgentlychaffingus，hepushedahead，upthetrail，andsoondisappeared。Bysixo\'clockwewereprettyhighupintheair，andtheviewoflakeandmountainshadgreatlygrowninbreadthandinterest。 Wehaltedawhileatalittlepublichouse，wherewehadbreadandcheeseandaquartortwooffreshmilk，outontheporch，withthebigpanoramaallbeforeus——andthenmovedonagain。 Tenminutesafterwardwemetahot，red-facedmanplungingdownthemountain，makingmightystrides，swinginghisalpenstockaheadofhim，andtakingagriponthegroundwithitsironpointtosupportthesebigstrides。 Hestopped，fannedhimselfwithhishat，swabbedtheperspirationfromhisfaceandneckwitharedhandkerchief，pantedamomentortwo，andaskedhowfartoWa\"ggis。 Isaidthreehours。Helookedsurprised，andsaid: \"Why，itseemsasifIcouldtossabiscuitintothelakefromhere，it\'ssocloseby。Isthataninn，there?\" Isaiditwas。 \"Well，\"saidhe，\"Ican\'tstandanotherthreehours，I\'vehadenoughtoday；I\'lltakeabedthere。\" Iasked: \"Arewenearlytothetop?\" \"NearlytotheTOP?\"Why，blessyoursoul，youhaven\'treallystarted，yet。\" Isaidwewouldputupattheinn，too。Soweturnedbackandorderedahotsupper，andhadquiteajollyeveningofitwiththisEnglishman。 TheGermanlandladygaveusneatroomsandnicebeds，andwhenIandmyagentturnedin，itwaswiththeresolutiontobeupearlyandmaketheutmostofourfirstAlpinesunrise。 Butofcourseweweredeadtired，andsleptlikepolicemen； sowhenweawokeinthemorningandrantothewindowitwasalreadytoolate，becauseitwashalfpasteleven。 Itwasasharpdisappointment。However，weorderedbreakfastandtoldthelandladytocalltheEnglishman，butshesaidhewasalreadyupandoffatdaybreak——andswearinglikemadaboutsomethingorother。Wecouldnotfindoutwhatthematterwas。Hehadaskedthelandladythealtitudeofherplaceabovethelevelofthelake，andshetoldhimfourteenhundredandninety-fivefeet。 Thatwasallthatwassaid；thenhelosthistemper。 Hesaidthatbetween——foolsandguide-books，amancouldacquireignoranceenoughintwenty-fourhoursinacountrylikethistolasthimayear。Harrisbelievedourboyhadbeenloadinghimupwithmisinformation； andthiswasprobablythecase，forhisepithetdescribedthatboytoadot。 Wegotunderwayabouttheturnofnoon，andpulledoutforthesummitagain，withafreshandvigorousstep。