havebeenratherabsurdinmyavoidanceofwomen。Ihavenevergivenawomanakissinmylife，exceptyourselfandmymother。\'
Themanoftwoandthirtywiththeexperiencedmindwarmedalloverwithaboy\'singenuousshameashemadetheconfession。
\'What，notone？\'shefaltered。
\'No；notone。\'
\'Howverystrange!\'
\'Yes，thereverseexperiencemaybecommoner。Andyet，tothosewhohaveobservedtheirownsex，asIhave，mycaseisnotremarkable。Menabouttownarewomen\'sfavourites——that\'sthepostulate——andsuperficialpeopledon\'tthinkfarenoughtoseethattheremaybereserved，lonelyexceptions。\'
\'Areyouproudofit，Harry？\'
\'No，indeed。OflateyearsIhavewishedIhadgonemywaysandtrodoutmymeasurelikelighter-heartedmen。IhavethoughtofhowmanyhappyexperiencesImayhavelostthroughnevergoingtowoo。\'
\'Thenwhydidyouholdaloof？\'
\'Icannotsay。Idon\'tthinkitwasmynatureto:circumstancehinderedme，perhaps。Ihaveregretteditforanotherreason。
Thisgreatremissnessofminehashaditseffectuponme。TheolderIhavegrown，themoredistinctlyhaveIperceivedthatitwasabsolutelypreventingmefromlikinganywomanwhowasnotasunpractisedasI；andIgaveuptheexpectationoffindinganineteenth-centuryyoungladyinmyownrawstate。ThenIfoundyou，Elfride，andlfeltforthefirsttimethatmyfastidiousnesswasablessing。Andithelpedtomakemeworthyofyou。Ifeltatoncethat，differingaswedidinotherexperiences，inthismatterIresembledyou。Well，aren\'tyougladtohearit，Elfride？\'
\'Yes，Iam，\'sheansweredinaforcedvoice。\'ButIalwayshadthoughtthatmenmadelotsofengagementsbeforetheymarried——
especiallyiftheydon\'tmarryveryyoung。\'
\'Soallwomenthink，Isuppose——andrightly，indeed，ofthemajorityofbachelors，asIsaidbefore。Butanappreciableminorityofslow-coachmendonot——anditmakesthemveryawkwardwhentheydocometothepoint。However，itdidn\'tmatterinmycase。\'
\'Why？\'sheaskeduneasily。
\'Becauseyouknowevenlessoflove-makingandmatrimonialprearrangementthanI，andsoyoucan\'tdrawinvidiouscomparisonsifIdomyengagingimproperly。\'
\'Ithinkyoudoitbeautifully!\'
\'Thankyou，dear。But，\'continuedKnightlaughingly，\'youropinionisnotthatofanexpert，whichaloneisofvalue。\'
Hadsheanswered，\'Yes，itis，\'halfasstronglyasshefeltit，Knightmighthavebeenalittleastonished。
\'Ifyouhadeverbeenengagedtobemarriedbefore，\'hewenton，\'Iexpectyouropinionofmyaddresseswouldbedifferent。Butthen，Ishouldnot——\'
\'Shouldnotwhat，Harry？\'
\'Oh，IwasmerelygoingtosaythatinthatcaseIshouldneverhavegivenmyselfthepleasureofproposingtoyou，sinceyourfreedomfromthatexperiencewasyourattraction，darling。\'
\'Youaresevereonwomen，areyounot？\'
\'No，Ithinknot。Ihadarighttopleasemytaste，andthatwasforuntriedlips。Othermenthanthoseofmysortacquirethetasteastheygetolder——butdon\'tfindanElfride——\'
\'Whathorridsoundisthatwehearwhenwepitchforward？\'
\'Onlythescrew——don\'tfindanElfrideasIdid。TothinkthatI
shouldhavediscoveredsuchanunseenflowerdownthereintheWest——towhomamanisasmuchasamultitudetosomewomen，andatripdowntheEnglishChannellikeavoyageroundtheworld!\'
\'Andwouldyou，\'shesaid，andhervoicewastremulous，\'havegivenupalady——ifyouhadbecomeengagedtoher——andthenfoundshehadhadONEkissbeforeyours——andwouldyouhave——goneawayandlefther？\'
\'Onekiss，——no，hardlyforthat。\'
\'Two？\'
\'Well——Icouldhardlysayinventoriallylikethat。Toomuchofthatsortofthingcertainlywouldmakemedislikeawoman。Butletusconfineourattentiontoourselves，notgothinkingofmighthavebeens。\'
SoElfridehadallowedherthoughtsto\'dallywithfalsesurmise，\'
andeveryoneofKnight\'swordsfelluponherlikeaweight。
Afterthistheyweresilentforalongtime，gazingupontheblackmysterioussea，andhearingthestrangevoiceoftherestlesswind。Arockingtoandfroonthewaves，whenthebreezeisnottooviolentandcold，producesasoothingeffectevenuponthemosthighly-wroughtmind。ElfrideslowlysankagainstKnight，andlookingdown，hefoundbyhersoftregularbreathingthatshehadfallenasleep。Notwishingtodisturbher，hecontinuedstill，andtookanintensepleasureinsupportingherwarmyoungformasitroseandfellwithhereverybreath。
Knightfelltodreamingtoo，thoughhecontinuedwideawake。Itwaspleasanttorealizetheimplicittrustsheplacedinhim，andtothinkofthecharminginnocenceofonewhocouldsinktosleepinsosimpleandunceremoniousamanner。Morethanall，themusingunpracticalstudentfelttheimmenseresponsibilityhewastakinguponhimselfbybecomingtheprotectorandguideofsuchatrustingcreature。Thequietslumberofhersoullentaquietnesstohisown。Thenshemoaned，andturnedherselfrestlessly。
Presentlyhermutteringsbecamedistinct:
\'Don\'ttellhim——hewillnotloveme……Ididnotmeananydisgrace——indeedIdidnot，sodon\'ttellHarry。Weweregoingtobemarried——thatwaswhyIranaway……Andhesayshewillnothaveakissedwoman……Andifyoutellhimhewillgoaway，andI
shalldie。Iprayhavemercy——Oh!\'
Elfridestartedupwildly。
Thepreviousmomentamusicalding-donghadspreadintotheairfromtheirrighthand，andawakenedher。
\'Whatisit？\'sheexclaimedinterror。
\'Only\"eightbells，\"\'saidKnightsoothingly。\'Don\'tbefrightened，littlebird，youaresafe。Whathaveyoubeendreamingabout？\'
\'Ican\'ttell，Ican\'ttell!\'shesaidwithashudder。\'Oh，I
don\'tknowwhattodo!\'
\'Stayquietlywithme。Weshallsoonseethedawnnow。Look，themorningstarislovelyoverthere。Thecloudshavecompletelyclearedoffwhilstyouhavebeensleeping。Whathaveyoubeendreamingof？\'
\'Awomaninourparish。\'
\'Don\'tyoulikeher？\'
\'Idon\'t。Shedoesn\'tlikeme。Wherearewe？\'
\'AboutsouthoftheExe。\'
Knightsaidnomoreonthewordsofherdream。TheywatchedtheskytillElfridegrewcalm，andthedawnappeared。Itwasmerewanlightnessfirst。Thenthewindblewinachangedspirit，anddiedawaytoazephyr。Thestardissolvedintotheday。
\'That\'showIshouldliketodie，\'saidElfride，risingfromherseatandleaningoverthebulwarktowatchthestar\'slastexpiringgleam。
\'Asthelinessay，\'Knightreplied——
\'\"Tosetassetsthemorningstar，whichgoesNotdownbehindthedarken\'dwest，norhidesObscuredamongthetempestsofthesky，Butmeltsawayintothelightofheaven。”\'
\'Oh，otherpeoplehavethoughtthesamething，havethey？That\'salwaysthecasewithmyoriginalities——theyareoriginaltonobodybutmyself。\'
\'Notonlythecasewithyours。WhenIwasayounghandatreviewingIusedtofindthatafrightfulpitfall——dilatinguponsubjectsImetwith，whichwerenoveltiestome，andfindingafterwardstheyhadbeenexhaustedbythethinkingworldwhenI
wasinpinafores。\'
\'Thatisdelightful。WheneverIfindyouhavedoneafoolishthingIamglad，becauseitseemstobringyoualittlenearertome，whohavedonemany。\'AndElfridethoughtagainofherenemyasleepunderthedecktheytrod。
Allupthecoast，prominencessingledthemselvesoutfromrecesses。Thenarosyskyspreadovertheeasternseaandbehindthelowlineofland，flingingitsliveryindashesuponthethinairycloudsinthatdirection。Everyprojectiononthelandseemednowsomanyfingersanxioustocatchalittleoftheliquidlightthrownsoprodigallyoverthesky，andafterafantastictimeoflustrousyellowsintheeast，thehigherelevationsalongtheshorewerefloodedwiththesamehues。ThebluffandbarecontoursofStartPointcaughtthebrightest，earliestglowofall，andsoalsodidthesidesofitswhitelighthouse，percheduponashelfinitsprecipitousfrontlikeamediaevalsaintinaniche。TheirloftyneighbourBoltHeadontheleftremainedasyetungilded，andretaineditsgray。
Thenupcamethesun，asitwereinjerks，justtoseawardoftheeasternmostpointofland，flingingoutaJacob\'s-ladderpathoflightfromitselftoElfrideandKnight，andcoatingthemwithraysinafewminutes。Theinferiordignitariesoftheshore——
FrowardPoint，BerryHead，andPrawle——allhadacquiredtheirshareoftheilluminationerethis，andatlengththeverysmallestprotuberanceofwave，cliff，orinlet，eventotheinnermostrecessesofthelovelyvalleyoftheDart，haditsportion；andsunlight，nowthecommonpossessionofall，ceasedtobethewonderfulandcovetedthingithadbeenashorthalfhourbefore。
Afterbreakfast，Plymoutharoseintoview，andgrewdistinctertotheirnearingvision，theBreakwaterappearinglikeastreakofphosphoriclightuponthesurfaceofthesea。ElfridelookedfurtivelyaroundforMrs。Jethway，butcoulddiscernnoshapelikehers。Afterwards，inthebustleoflanding，shelookedagainwiththesameresult，bywhichtimethewomanhadprobablyglideduponthequayunobserved。Expandingwithasenseofrelief，ElfridewaitedwhilstKnightlookedtotheirluggage，andthensawherfatherapproachingthroughthecrowd，twirlinghiswalking-sticktocatchtheirattention。Elbowingtheirwaytohimtheyallenteredthetown，whichsmiledassunnyasmileuponElfrideasithaddonebetweenoneandtwoyearsearlier，whenshehadentereditatpreciselythesamehourasthebride-electofStephenSmith。
ChapterXXX
\'VassaluntoLove。\'
ElfrideclungclosertoKnightasdaysucceededday。Whateverelsemightadmitofquestion，therecouldbenodisputethattheallegiancesheborehimabsorbedherwholesoulandexistence。A
greaterthanStephenhadarisen，andshehadleftalltofollowhim。
Theunreservedgirlwasnevercharyoflettingherloverdiscoverhowmuchsheadmiredhim。Sheneveronceheldanideainoppositiontoanyoneofhis，orinsistedonanypointwithhim，orshowedanyindependence，orheldherownonanysubject。Hislightestwhimsherespectedandobeyedaslaw，andif，expressingheropiniononamatter，hetookupthesubjectanddifferedfromher，sheinstantlythrewdownherownopinionaswronganduntenable。Evenherambiguitiesandespiegleriewerebutmediaofthesamemanifestation；actedcharades，embodyingthewordsofherprototype，thetenderandsusceptibledaughter-in-lawofNaomi:
\'Letmefindfavourinthysight，mylord；forthatthouhastcomfortedme，andforthatthouhastspokenfriendlyuntothinehandmaid。\'
Shewassyringingtheplantsonewetdayinthegreenhouse。
Knightwassittingunderagreatpassion-flowerobservingthescene。Sometimeshelookedoutattherainfromthesky，andthenatElfride\'sinnerrainoflargerdrops，whichfellfromtreesandshrubs，afterhavingpreviouslyhungfromthetwigslikesmallsilverfruit。
\'Imustgiveyousomethingtomakeyouthinkofmeduringthisautumnatyourchambers，\'shewassaying。\'Whatshallitbe？
Portraitsdomoreharmthangood，byselectingtheworstexpressionofwhichyourfaceiscapable。Hairisunlucky。Andyoudon\'tlikejewellery。\'
\'Somethingwhichshallbringbacktomymindthemanysceneswehaveenactedinthisconservatory。IseewhatIshouldprizeverymuch。Thatdwarfmyrtletreeinthepot，whichyouhavebeensocarefullytending。\'
Elfridelookedthoughtfullyatthemyrtle。
\'Icancarryitcomfortablyinmyhatbox，\'saidKnight。\'AndI
willputitinmywindow，andso，itbeingalwaysbeforemyeyes，Ishallthinkofyoucontinually。\'
ItsohappenedthatthemyrtlewhichKnighthadsingledouthadapeculiarbeginningandhistory。IthadoriginallybeenatwigworninStephenSmith\'sbutton-hole，andhehadtakenitthence，stuckitintothepot，andtoldherthatifitgrew，shewastotakecareofit，andkeepitinremembranceofhimwhenhewasfaraway。
Shelookedwistfullyattheplant，andasenseoffairnesstoSmith\'smemorycausedherapangofregretthatKnightshouldhaveaskedforthatveryone。Itseemedexceedingacommonheartlessnesstoletitgo。
\'Istherenotanythingyoulikebetter？\'shesaidsadly。\'Thatisonlyanordinarymyrtle。\'
\'No:Iamfondofmyrtle。\'Seeingthatshedidnottakekindlytotheidea，hesaidagain，\'Whydoyouobjecttomyhavingthat？\'
\'Ohno——Idon\'tobjectprecisely——itwasafeeling——Ah，here\'sanothercuttinglatelystruck，andjustassmall——ofabetterkind，andwithprettierleaves——myrtusmicrophylla。\'
\'Thatwilldonicely。Letitbeputinmyroom，thatImaynotforgetit。Whatromanceattachestotheother？\'
\'Itwasagifttome。\'
Thesubjectthendropped。Knightthoughtnomoreofthemattertill，onenteringhisbedroomintheevening，hefoundthesecondmyrtleplaceduponhisdressing-tableashehaddirected。Hestoodforamomentadmiringthefreshappearanceoftheleavesbycandlelight，andthenhethoughtofthetransactionoftheday。
Maleloversaswellasfemalecanbespoiltbytoomuchkindness，andElfride\'suniformsubmissivenesshadgivenKnightaratherexactingmanneratcrises，attachedtoherashewas。\'WhyshouldshehaverefusedtheoneIfirstchose？\'henowaskedhimself。
Evensuchslightoppositionasshehadshownthenwasexceptionalenoughtomakeitselfnoticeable。Hewasnotvexedwithherintheleast:themerevariationofherwayto-dayfromherusualwayskepthimmusingonthesubject，becauseitperplexedhim。
\'Itwasagift\'——thosewereherwords。Admittingittobeagift，hethoughtshecouldhardlyvalueamerefriendmorethanshevaluedhimasalover，andgivingtheplantintohischargewouldhavemadenodifference。\'Except，indeed，itwasthegiftofalover，\'hemurmured。
\'IwonderifElfridehaseverhadaloverbefore？\'hesaidaloud，asanewidea，quite。Thisandcompanionthoughtswereenoughtooccupyhimcompletelytillhefellasleep——ratherlaterthanusual。
Thenextday，whentheywereagainalone，hesaidtoherrathersuddenly——
\'Doyoulovememoreorless，Elfie，forwhatItoldyouonboardthesteamer？\'
\'Youtoldmesomanythings，\'shereturned，liftinghereyestohisandsmiling。
\'Imeantheconfessionyoucoaxedoutofme——thatIhadneverbeeninthepositionofloverbefore。\'
\'Itisasatisfaction，Isuppose，tobethefirstinyourheart，\'
shesaidtohim，withanattempttocontinuehersmiling。
\'Iamgoingtoaskyouaquestionnow，\'saidKnight，somewhatawkwardly。\'Ionlyaskitinawhimsicalway，youknow:notwithgreatseriousness，Elfride。Youmaythinkitodd，perhaps。\'
Elfridetrieddesperatelytokeepthecolourinherface。Shecouldnot，thoughdistressedtothinkthatgettingpaleshowedconsciousnessofdeeperguiltthanmerelygettingred。
\'Ohno——Ishallnotthinkthat，\'shesaid，becauseobligedtosaysomethingtofillthepausewhichfollowedherquestioner\'sremark。
\'Itisthis:haveyoueverhadalover？Iamalmostsureyouhavenot；but，haveyou？\'
\'Not，asitwere，alover；Imean，notworthmentioning，Harry，\'
shefaltered。
Knight，overstrainedinsentimentasheknewthefeelingtobe，feltsomesicknessofheart。
\'Still，hewasalover？\'
\'Well，asortoflover，Isuppose，\'sherespondedtardily。
\'Aman，Imean，youknow。\'
\'Yes；butonlyamereperson，and——\'
\'Buttrulyyourlover？\'
\'Yes；alovercertainly——hewasthat。Yes，hemighthavebeencalledmylover。\'
Knightsaidnothingtothisforaminuteormore，andkeptsilenttimewithhisfingertothetickoftheoldlibraryclock，inwhichroomthecolloquywasgoingon。
\'Youdon\'tmind，Harry，doyou？\'shesaidanxiously，nestlingclosetohim，andwatchinghisface。
\'Ofcourse，Idon\'tseriouslymind。Inreason，amancannotobjecttosuchatrifle。Ionlythoughtyouhadn\'t——thatwasall。\'
However，oneraywasabstractedfromthegloryaboutherhead。
Butafterwards，whenKnightwaswanderingbyhimselfoverthebareandbreezyhills，andmeditatingonthesubject，thatraysuddenlyreturned。Forshemighthavehadalover，andneverhavecaredintheleastforhim。Shemighthaveusedthewordimproperly，andmeant\'admirer\'allthetime。Ofcourseshehadbeenadmired；andonemanmighthavemadehisadmirationmoreprominentthanthatoftherest——averynaturalcase。
Theyweresittingononeofthegardenseatswhenhefoundoccasiontoputthesuppositiontothetest。\'Didyoulovethatloveroradmirerofyourseversolittle，Elfie？\'
Shemurmuredreluctantly，\'Yes，IthinkIdid。\'
Knightfeltthesamefainttouchofmisery。\'Onlyaverylittle？\'
hesaid。
\'Iamnotsurehowmuch。\'
\'Butyouaresure，darling，youlovedhimalittle？\'
\'IthinkIamsureIlovedhimalittle。\'
\'Andnotagreatdeal，Elfie？\'
\'Mylovewasnotsupportedbyreverenceforhispowers。\'
\'But，Elfride，didyoulovehimdeeply？\'saidKnightrestlessly。
\'Idon\'texactlyknowhowdeepyoumeanbydeeply。\'
\'That\'snonsense。\'
\'Youmisapprehend；andyouhaveletgomyhand!\'shecried，hereyesfillingwithtears。\'Harry，don\'tbeseverewithme，anddon\'tquestionme。IdidnotlovehimasIdoyou。AndcoulditbedeeplyifIdidnotthinkhimclevererthanmyself？ForIdidnot。Yougrievemesomuch——youcan\'tthink。\'
\'Iwillnotsayanotherwordaboutit。\'
\'Andyouwillnotthinkaboutit，either，willyou？IknowyouthinkofweaknessesinmeafterIamoutofyoursight；andnotknowingwhattheyare，Icannotcombatthem。Ialmostwishyouwereofagrossernature，Harry；intruthIdo!Orrather，IwishIcouldhavetheadvantagessuchanatureinyouwouldaffordme，andyethaveyouasyouare。\'
\'Whatadvantageswouldtheybe？\'
\'Lessanxiety，andmoresecurity。Ordinarymenarenotsodelicateintheirtastesasyou；andwheretheloverorhusbandisnotfastidious，andrefined，andofadeepnature，thingsseemtogoonbetter，Ifancy——asfarasIhavebeenabletoobservetheworld。\'
\'Yes；Isupposeitisright。Shallownesshasthisadvantage，thatyoucan\'tbedrownedthere。\'
\'ButIthinkI\'llhaveyouasyouare；yes，Iwill!\'shesaidwinsomely。\'Thepracticalhusbandsandwiveswhotakethingsphilosophicallyareveryhumdrum，aretheynot？Yes，itwouldkillmequite。Youpleasemebestasyouare。\'
