Therewouldbefightsinthestreetperhaps，andabundanceofribbons，flags，andbadges，ofthetwocolours。Onecrowdwouldsing，\"KeeptheRedFlagFlying，\"andtheother，\"TheWearingoftheGreen。”Butwhenthelastefforthadbeenmadeandthelastmomentcome，whentwocrowdswerewaitinginthedarkoutsidethepublicbuildingtohearthedeclarationofthepoll，thenbothsidesalikewouldsaythatitwasnowfordemocracytodoexactlywhatitchose。Englandherself，liftingherheadinawfullonelinessandliberty，mustspeakandpronouncejudgment。
Yetthismightnotbeexactlytrue。Englandherself，liftingherheadinawfullonelinessandliberty，mightreallywishMr。Asquithtobepaleblue。ThedemocracyofEnglandintheabstract，ifithadbeenallowedtomakeupapolicyforitself，mighthavedesiredhimtobeblackwithpinkspots。Itmightevenhavelikedhimasheisnow。Butahugeapparatusofwealth，power，andprintedmatterhasmadeitpracticallyimpossibleforthemtobringhometheseotherproposals，eveniftheywouldreallypreferthem。Nocandidateswillstandinthespottedinterest；forcandidatescommonlyhavetoproducemoneyeitherfromtheirownpocketsorthepasty\'s；andinsuchcirclesspotsarenotworn。NomaninthesocialpositionofaCabinetMinister，perhaps，willcommithimselftothepale-bluetheoryofMr。Asquith；thereforeitcannotbeaGovernmentmeasure，thereforeitcannotpass。
Nearlyallthegreatnewspapers，bothpompousandfrivolous，willdeclaredogmaticallydayafterday，untileveryonehalfbelievesit，thatredandgreenaretheonlytwocoloursinthepaint-box。THEOBSERVERwillsay:\"NoonewhoknowsthesolidframeworkofpoliticsortheemphaticfirstprinciplesofanImperialpeoplecansupposeforamomentthatthereisanypossiblecompromisetobemadeinsuchamatter；wemusteitherfulfilourmanifestracialdestinyandcrowntheedificeofageswiththeaugustfigureofaGreenPremier，orwemustabandonourheritage，breakourpromisetotheEmpire，flingourselvesintofinalanarchy，andallowtheflaminganddemoniacimageofaRedPremiertohoveroverourdissolutionandourdoom。”TheDAILYMAILwouldsay:
\"Thereisnohalfwayhouseinthismatter；itmustbegreenorred。WewishtoseeeveryhonestEnglishmanonecolourortheother。”AndthensomefunnymaninthepopularPresswouldstarthesentencewithapun，andsaythattheDAILYMAILlikeditsreaderstobegreenanditspapertoberead。Butnoonewouldevendaretowhisperthatthereissuchathingasyellow。
Forthepurposesofpurelogicitisclearertoarguewithsillyexamplesthanwithsensibleones:becausesillyexamplesaresimple。ButIcouldgivemanygraveandconcretecasesofthekindofthingtowhichIrefer。
InthelaterpartoftheBoerWarbothpartiesperpetuallyinsistedineveryspeechandpamphletthatannexationwasinevitableandthatitwasonlyaquestionwhetherLiberalsorToriesshoulddoit。Itwasnotinevitableintheleast；itwouldhavebeenperfectlyeasytomakepeacewiththeBoersasChristiannationscommonlymakepeacewiththeirconqueredenemies。PersonallyIthinkthatitwouldhavebeenbetterforusinthemostselfishsense，betterforourpocketandprestige，ifwehadnevereffectedtheannexationatall；butthatisamatterofopinion。
Whatisplainisthatitwasnotinevitable；itwasnot，aswassaid，theonlypossiblecourse；therewereplentyofothercourses；therewereplentyofothercoloursinthebox。Again，inthediscussionaboutSocialism，itisrepeatedlyrubbedintothepublicmindthatwemustchoosebetweenSocialismandsomehorriblethingthattheycallIndividualism。Idon\'tknowwhatitmeans，butitseemstomeanthatanybodywhohappenstopulloutaplumistoadoptthemoralphilosophyoftheyoungHorner——andsaywhatagoodboyheisforhelpinghimself。
ItiscalmlyassumedthattheonlytwopossibletypesofsocietyareaCollectivisttypeofsocietyandthepresentsocietythatexistsatthismomentandisratherlikeananimatedmuck-heap。ItisquiteunnecessarytosaythatIshouldpreferSocialismtothepresentstateofthings。I
shouldpreferanarchismtothepresentstateofthings。ButitissimplynotthefactthatCollectivismistheonlyotherschemeforamoreequalorder。ACollectivisthasaperfectrighttothinkittheonlysoundscheme；butitisnottheonlyplausibleorpossiblescheme。Wemighthavepeasantproprietorship；wemighthavethecompromiseofHenryGeorge；
wemighthaveanumberoftinycommunes；wemighthaveco-operation；wemighthaveAnarchistCommunism；wemighthaveahundredthings。Iamnotsayingthatanyoftheseareright，thoughIcannotimaginethatanyofthemcouldbeworsethanthepresentsocialmadhouse，withitstop-heavyrichanditstorturedpoor；butIsaythatitisanevidenceofthestiffandnarrowalternativeofferedtothecivicmind，thatthecivicmindisnot，generallyspeaking，consciousoftheseotherpossibilities。Thecivicmindisnotfreeoralertenoughtofeelhowmuchithastheworldbeforeit。
ThereareatleasttensolutionsoftheEducationquestion，andnooneknowswhichEnglishmenreallywant。ForEnglishmenareonlyallowedtovoteaboutthetwowhichareatthatmomentofferedbythePremierandtheLeaderoftheOpposition。Therearetensolutionsofthedrinkquestion；andnooneknowswhichthedemocracywants；forthedemocracyisonlyallowedtofightaboutoneLicensingBillatatime。
Sothatthesituationcomestothis:Thedemocracyhasarighttoanswerquestions，butithasnorighttoaskthem。Itisstillthepoliticalaristocracythatasksthequestions。Andweshallnotbeunreasonablycynicalifwesupposethatthepoliticalaristocracywillalwaysberathercarefulwhatquestionsitasks。Andifthedangerouscomfortandself-flatteryofmodernEnglandcontinuesmuchlongertherewillbelessdemocraticvalueinanEnglishelectionthaninaRomansaturnaliaofslaves。Forthepowerfulclasswillchoosetwocoursesofaction，bothofthemsafeforitself，andthengivethedemocracythegratificationoftakingonecourseortheother。Thelordwilltaketwothingssomuchalikethathewouldnotmindchoosingfromthemblindfold——andthenforagreatjesthewillallowtheslavestochoose。
THEMADOFFICIAL
Goingmadistheslowestanddullestbusinessintheworld。Ihaveverynearlydoneitmorethanonceinmyboyhood，andsohavenearlyallmyfriends，bornunderthegeneraldoomofmortals，butespeciallyofmoderns；Imeanthedoomthatmakesamancomealmosttotheendofthinkingbeforehecomestothefirstchanceofliving。
Buttheprocessofgoingmadisdull，forthesimplereasonthatamandoesnotknowthatitisgoingon。Routineandliteralismandacertaindry-throatedearnestnessandmentalthirst，thesearetheveryatmosphereofmorbidity。Ifoncethemancouldbecomeconsciousofhismadness，hewouldceasetobeman。HestudiescertaintextsinDanielorcryptogramsinShakespearethroughmonstrouslymagnifyingspectacles，whichareonhisnosenightandday。Ifoncehecouldtakeoffthespectacleshewouldsmashthem。HededucesallhisfantasiesabouttheSixthSealortheAnglo-SaxonRacefromoneunexaminedandinvisiblefirstprinciple。
Ifhecouldonceseethefirstprinciple，hewouldseethatitisnotthere。
Thisslowandawfulself-hypnotismoferrorisaprocessthatcanoccurnotonlywithindividuals，butalsowithwholesocieties。Itishardtopickoutandprove；thatiswhyitishardtocure。Butthismentaldegenerationmaybebroughttoonetest，whichItrulybelievetobearealtest。Anationisnotgoingmadwhenitdoe\'sextravagantthings，solongasitdoestheminanextravagantspirit。CrusadersnotcuttingtheirbeardstilltheyfoundJerusalem，JacobinscallingeachotherHarmodiusandEpaminondaswhentheirnameswereJacquesandJules，thesearewildthings，buttheyweredoneinwildspiritsatawildmoment。
Butwheneverweseethingsdonewildly，buttakentamely，thentheStateisgrowinginsane。Forinstance，Ihaveagunlicense。ForallIknow，thiswouldlogicallyallowmetofireofffiftynineenormousfield-gunsdayandnightinmybackgarden。Ishouldnotbesurprisedatamandoingit；foritwouldbegreatfun。ButIshouldbesurprisedattheneighboursputtingupwithit，andregardingitasanordinarythingmerelybecauseitmighthappentofulfiltheletterofmylicense。
Or，again，Ihaveadoglicense；andImayhavetheright(forallI
know)toturntenthousandwilddogslooseinBuckinghamshire。Ishouldnotbesurprisedifthelawwerelikethat；becauseinmodernEnglandthereispracticallynolawtobesurprisedat。Ishouldnotbesurprisedevenatthemanwhodidit；foracertainkindofman，ifhelivedlongundertheEnglishlandlordsystem，mightdoanything。ButI
shouldbesurprisedatthepeoplewhoconsentedtostandit。Ishould，inotherwords，thinktheworldalittlemadiftheincident，werereceivedinsilence。
Nowthingseverybitaswildasthisarebeingreceivedinsilenceeveryday。Allstrokessliponthesmoothnessofapolishedwall。Ailblowsfallsoundlessonthesoftnessofapaddedcell。Formadnessisapassiveaswellasanactivestate:itisaparalysis，arefusalofthenervestorespondtothenormalstimuli，aswellasanunnaturalstimulation。Therearecommonwealths，plainlytobedistinguishedhereandthereinhistory，whichpassfromprosperitytosqualor，orfromglorytoinsignificance，orfromfreedomtoslavery，notonlyinsilence，butwithserenity。Thefacestillsmileswhilethelimbs，literallyandloathsomely，aredroppingfromthebody。Thesearepeoplesthathavelostthepowerofastonishmentattheirownactions。Whentheygivebirthtoafantasticfashionorafoolishlaw，theydonotstartorstareatthemonstertheyhavebroughtforth。Theyhavegrownusedtotheirownunreason；chaosistheircosmos；andthewhirlwindisthebreathoftheirnostrils。Thesenationsarereallyindangerofgoingofftheirheadsenmasse；ofbecomingonevastvisionofimbecility，withtopplingcitiesandcrazycountry-sides，alldottedwithindustriouslunatics。
OneofthesecountriesismodernEngland。
Nowhereisanactualinstance，asmalleaseofhowoursocialconsciencereallyworks:tameinspirit，wildinresult，blankinrealisation；athingwithoutthelightofmindinit。Itakethisparagraphfromadailypaper:-\"AtEpping，yesterday，ThomasWoolbourne，aLambournelabourer，andhiswifeweresummonedforneglectingtheirfivechildren。
Dr。AlpinsaidhewasinvitedbytheinspectoroftheN。S。P。C。C。tovisitdefendants\'cottage。Boththecottageandthechildrenweredirty。
Thechildrenlookedexceedinglywellinhealth，buttheconditionswouldbeseriousincaseofillness。Defendantswerestatedtobesober。Themanwasdischarged。Thewoman，whosaidshewashamperedbythecottagehavingnowatersupplyandthatshewasill，wassentencedtosixweeks\'
imprisonment。Thesentencecausedsurprise，andthewomanwasremovedcrying，\'Lordsaveme!\'\"
IknownonameforthisbutChinese。ItcallsupthementalpictureofsomearchaicandchangelessEasternCourt，inwhichmenwithdriedfacesandstiffceremonialcostumesperformsomeatrociouscrueltytotheaccompanimentofformalproverbsandsentencesofwhichtheverymeaninghasbeenforgotten。Inbothcasestheonlythinginthewholefarragothatcanbecalledrealisthewrong。IfweapplythelightesttouchofreasontothewholeEppingprosecutionitdissolvesintonothing。
Iherechallengeanypersoninhisfivewitstotellmewhatthatwomanwassenttoprisonfor。Eitheritwasforbeingpoor，oritwasforbeingill。Nobodycouldsuggest，nobodywillsuggest，nobody，asamatteroffact，didsuggest，thatshehadcommittedanyothercrime。ThedoctorwascalledinbyaSocietyforthePreventionofCrueltytoChildren。Wasthiswomanguiltyofcrueltytochildren？Notintheleast。Didthedoctorsayshewasguiltyofcrueltytochildren？
Notintheleast。Wastheseanyevidenceevenremotelybearingonthesinofcruelty？Notarap。Theworsethatthedoctorcouldworkhimselfuptosayingwasthatthoughthechildrenwere\"exceedingly\"well，theconditionswouldbeseriousincaseofillness。Ifthedoctorwilltellmeanyconditionsthatwouldbecomicincaseofillness，Ishallattachmoreweighttohisargument。
Nowthisistheworsteffectofmodernworry。Themaddoctorhasgonemad。Heisliterallyandpracticallymad；andstillheisquiteliterallyandpracticallyadoctor。Theonlyquestionistheoldone，Quisdocebitipsumdoctorem？Nowcrueltytochildrenisanutterlyunnaturalthing；instinctivelyaccursedofearthandheaven。Butneglectofchildrenisanaturalthing；likeneglectofanyotherduty，itisameredifferenceofdegreethatdividesextendingarmsandlegsincalisthenicsandextendingthemontherack。Itisameredifferenceofdegreethatseparatesanyoperationfromanytorture。Thethumb-screwcaneasilybecalledManicure。BeingpulledaboutbywildhorsescaneasilybecalledMassage。Themodernproblemisnotsomuchwhatpeoplewillendureaswhattheywillnotendure。ButIfearIinterrupt……
Theboilingoilisboiling；andtheTenthMandarinisalreadyrecitingthe\"SeventeenSeriousPrinciplesandtheFifty-threeVirtuesoftheSacredEmperor。”
THEENCHANTEDMAN
WhenIarrivedtoseetheperformanceoftheBuckinghamshirePlayers，whoactedMissGertrudeRobins\'sPOTLUCKatNaphillashorttimeago，itisthedistressing，ifscarcelysurprising，truththatIenteredverylate。
Thiswouldhavematteredlittle，Ihope，toanyone，butthatlatecomershadtobeforcedintofrontseats。ForarealpopularEnglishaudiencealwaysinsistsoncrowdinginthebackpartofthehall；and(asIhavefoundinmanyanelection)willendurethemostunendurabletauntsratherthancomeforward。TheEnglishareamodestpeople；thatiswhytheyareentirelyruledandrunbythefewofthemthathappentobeimmodest。Intheatricalaffairsthefactisstrangelynotable；andinmostplayhouseswefindtheboredpeopleinfrontandtheeagerpeoplebehind。
AsfarastheperformancewentIwasquitethereverseofaboredperson；
butImayhavebeenaboringperson，especiallyasIwasthusrequiredtositintheseatsofthescornful。Itwillbeahappydayinthedramaticworldwhenallladieshavetotakeofftheirhatsandallcriticshavetotakeofftheirheads。Thepeoplebehindwillhaveachancethen。Andasithappens，inthiscase，Ihadnotsomuchtakenoffmyheadaslostit。
Ihadlostitontheroad；onthatstrangejourneythatwasthecauseofmycominginlate。Ihaveatroubledrecollectionofhavingseenaverygoodplayandmadeaverybadspeech；Ihaveacloudyrecollectionoftalkingtoallsortsofnicepeopleafterwards，buttalkingtothemjerkilyandwithhalfahead，asamantalkswhenhehasoneeyeonaclock。
AndthetruthisthatIhadoneeyeonanancientandtimelessclock，hunguselesslyinheaven；whoseverynamehaspassedintoafigureforsuchbemusedfolly。Inthetruesenseofanancientphrase，Iwasmoonstruck。Alunarlandscapeasceneofwintermoonlighthadinexplicablygotinbetweenmeandallotherscenes。IfanyonehadaskedmeIcouldnothavesaidwhatitwas；Icannotsaynow。Nothinghadoccurredtome；exceptthebreakdownofahiredmotorontheridgeofahill。Itwasnotanadventure；itwasavision。
Ihadstartedinwintrytwilightfrommyowndoor；andhiredasmallcarthatfounditswayacrossthehillstowardsNaphill。ButasnightblackenedandfrostbrightenedandhardeneditIfoundthewayincreasinglydifficult；especiallyasthewaywasanincessantascent。
Wheneverwetoppedaroadlikeastaircaseitwasonlytoturnintoayetsteeperroadlikealadder。
Atlast，whenIbegantofancythatIwasspirallyclimbingtheTowerofBabelinadream，Iwasbroughttofactbyalarmingnoises，stoppage，andthedriversayingthat\"itcouldn\'tbedone。”IgotoutofthecarandsuddenlyforgotthatIhadeverbeeninit。
FromtheedgeofthatabruptsteepIsawsomethingindescribable，whichI
amnowgoingtodescribe。WhenMr。JosephChamberlaindeliveredhisgreatpatrioticspeechontheinferiorityofEnglandtotheDutchpartsofSouthAfrica，hemadeuseoftheexpression\"theillimitableveldt。”
Theword\"veldt\"isDutch，andtheword\"illimitable\"isDoubleDutch。
ButthemeditativestatesmanprobablymeantthatthenewplainsgavehimasenseoflargenessanddrearinesswhichhehadneverfoundinEngland。
Well，ifheneverfounditinEnglanditwasbecauseheneverlookedforitinEngland。InEnglandthereisanillimitablenumberofillimitableveldts。Isawsixorsevenseparateeternitiesincrestingasmanydifferenthills。Onecannotfindanythingmoreinfinitethanafinitehorizon，freeandlonelyandinnocent。TheDutchveldtmaybealittlemoredesolatethanBirmingham。ButIamsureitisnotsodesolateasthatEnglishhillwas，almostwithinacannon-shotofHighWycombe。
Ilookedacrossavastandvoicelessvalleystraightatthemoon，asifataroundmirror。Itmayhavebeenthebluemoonoftheproverb；foronthatfreezingnighttheverymoonseemedbluewithcold。Adeathlyfrostfastenedeverybranchandbladetoitsplace。Thesinkingandsofteningforests，powderedwithagrayfrost，fellawayunderneathmeintoanabysswhichseemedunfathomable。Onefanciedtheworldwassoundlessonlybecauseitwasbottomless:itseemedasifallsongsandcrieshadbeenswallowedinsomeunresistingstillnessundertherootsofthehills。
IcouldfancythatifIshoutedtherewouldbenoecho；thatifI
hurledhugestonestherewouldbenonoiseofreply。Adumbdevilhadbewitchedthelandscape:butthatagaindoesnotexpressthebestorworstofit。Allthosehoaryandfrostedforestsexpressedsomethingsoinhumanthatithasnohumanname。Ahorrorofunconsciousnesslayonthem；thatisthenearestphraseIknow。Itwasasifonewerelookingatthebackoftheworld；andtheworlddidnotknowit。Ihadtakentheuniverseintherear。Iwasbehindthescenes。Iwaseavesdroppinguponanunconsciouscreation。
Ishallnotexpresswhattheplaceexpressed。Iamnotevensurethatitisathingthatoughttobeexpressed。Therewassomethingheathenaboutitsunionofbeautyanddeath；sorrowseemedtoglitter，asitdoesinsomeofthegreatpaganpoems。Iunderstoodoneofthethousandpoeticalphrasesofthepopulace，\"aGod-forsakenplace。”Yetsomethingwaspresentthere；andIcouldnotyetfindthekeytomyfixedimpression。
ThensuddenlyIrememberedtherightword。Itwasanenchantedplace。
Ithadbeenputtosleep。InaflashIrememberedallthefairy-talesaboutprincesturnedtomarbleandprincesseschangedtosnow。Wewereinalandwherenonecouldstriveorcryout；awhitenightmare。Themoonlookedatmeacrossthevalleyliketheenormouseyeofahypnotist；
theonewhiteeyeoftheworld。
TherewasneverabetterplaythanPOTLUCK；forittellsatalewithapointandatalethatmighthappenanydayamongEnglishpeasants。TherewereneverbetteractorsthanthelocalBuckinghamshirePlayers:fortheywereactingtheirownlifewithjustthatriseintoexaggerationwhichisthetransitionfromlifetoart。ButallthetimeIwasmesmerisedbythemoon；Isawallthesemenandwomenasenchantedthings。Thepoachershotpheasants；thepolicemantrackedpheasants；thewifehidpheasants；
theywereall(especiallythepoliceman)astrueasdeath。Buttherewassomethingmoretruetodeaththantruetolifeaboutitall:thefigureswerefrozenwithamagicfrostofsleeporfearorcustomsuchasdoesnotcrampthemovementsofthepoormenofotherlands。Ilookedatthepoacherandthepolicemanandthegun；thenatthegunandthepolicemanandthepoacher；andIcouldfindnonameforthefancythathauntedandescapedme。ThepoacherbelievedintheGameLawsasmuchasthepoliceman。Thepoacher\'swifenotonlybelievedintheGameLaws，butprotectedthemaswellashim。Shegotapromisefromherhusbandthathewouldnevershootanotherpheasant。WhetherhekeptitIdoubt；I
fancyhesometimesshotapheasantevenafterthat。ButIamsurehenevershotapoliceman。Forweliveinanenchantedland。
THESUNWORSHIPPER
Thereisashrewdwarningtobegiventoallpeoplewhoareinrevolt。
Andinthepresentstateofthings，Ithinkallmenarerevoltinginthatsense；exceptafewwhoarerevoltingintheothersense。ButthewarningtoSocialistsandotherrevolutionariesisthis:thatassureasfate，iftheyuseanyargumentwhichisatheistormaterialistic，thatargumentwillalwaysbeturnedagainstthematlastbythetyrantandtheslave。
To-dayIsawonetoocommonSocialistargumentturnedTory，sotospeak，inamannerquitestartlingandinsane。Imeanthatmoderndoctrine，taught，Ibelieve，bymostfollowersofKarlMarx，whichiscalledthematerialisttheoryofhistory。Thetheoryis，roughly，this:thatalltheimportantthingsinhistoryarerootedinaneconomicmotive。Inshort，historyisascience；ascienceofthesearchforfood。
NowIdesire，inpassingonly，topointoutthatthisisnotmerelyuntrue，butactuallythereverseofthetruth。Itisputtingittoofeeblytosaythatthehistoryofmanisnotonlyeconomic。Manwouldnothaveanyhistoryifhewereonlyeconomic。Theneedforfoodiscertainlyuniversal，souniversalthatitisnotevenhuman。Cowshaveaneconomicmotive，andapparently(Idarenotsaywhatetherealdelicaciesmaybeinacow)onlyaneconomicmotive。Thecoweatsgrassanywhereandnevereatsanythingelse。Inshort，thecowdoesfulfilthematerialisttheoryofhistory:thatiswhythecowhasnohistory。\"A
HistoryofCows\"wouldbeoneofthesimplestandbriefestofstandardworks。Butifsomecowsthoughtitwickedtoeatlonggrassandpersecutedallwhodidso；ifthecowwiththecrumpledhornwereworshippedbysomecowsandgoredtodeathbyothers；ifcowsbegantohaveobviousmoralpreferencesoverandaboveadesireforgrass，thencowswouldbegintohaveahistory。Theywouldalsobegintohaveahighlyunpleasanttime，whichisperhapsthesamething。
Theeconomicmotiveisnotmerelynotinsideallhistory；itisactuallyoutsideallhistory。ItbelongstoBiologyortheScienceofLife；thatis，itconcernsthingslikecows，thatarenotsoverymuchalive。Menarefartoomuchalivetogetintothescienceofanything；forthemwehavemadetheartofhistory。Tosaythathumanactionshavedependedoneconomicsupportislikesayingthattheyhavedependedonhavingtwolegs。Itaccountsforaction，butnotforsuchvariedaction；itisacondition，butnotamotive；itistoouniversaltobeuseful。
CertainlyasoldierwinstheVictoriaCrossontwolegs；healsorunsawayontwolegs。ButifourobjectistodiscoverwhetherhewillbecomeaV。C。oracowardthemostcarefulinspectionofhislegswillyielduslittleornoinformation。Inthesamewayamanwillwantfoodifheisadreamyromantictramp，andwillwantfoodifheisatoilingandsweatingmillionaire。Amanmustbesupportedonfoodashemustbesupportedonlegs。Butcows(whohavenohistory)arenotonlyfurnishedmoregenerouslyinthematteroflegs，butcanseetheirfoodonamuchgranderandmoreimaginativescale。Acowcanliftuphereyestothehillsandseeuplandsandpeaksofpurefood。Yetweneverseethehorizonbrokenbycragsofcakeorhappyhillsofcheese。
Sofarthecow(whohasnohistory)seemstohaveeveryotheradvantage。
Buthistory——thewholepointofhistory——preciselyisthatsometwo-
leggedsoldiersranawaywhileothers，ofsimilaranatomicalstructure，didnot。Thewholepointofhistorypreciselyis:somepeople(likepoetsandtramps)chancegettingmoneybydisregardingit，whileothers(suchasmillionaires)willabsolutelylosemoneyforthefunofbotheringaboutit。Therewouldbenohistoryiftherewereonlyeconomichistory。Allthehistoricaleventshavebeenduetothetwistsandturnsgiventotheeconomicinstinctbyforcesthatwerenoteconomic。
Forinstance，thistheorytracestheFrenchwarofEdwardIIItoaquarrelabouttheFrenchwines。AnyonewhohasevensmelttheMiddleAgesmustfeelfiftyanswersspringtohislips；butinthiscauseonewillsuffice。Therewouldhavebeennosuchwar，then，ifwealldrankwaterlikecows。Butwhenoneisamanoneenterstheworldofhistoricchoice。Theactofdrinkingwineisonethatrequiresexplanation。Soistheactofnotdrinkingwine。
Butthecapitalistcangetmuchmorefunoutofthedoctrine。
WhenstrikesweresplittingEnglandrightandleftalittlewhileago，aningeniouswriter，humorouslydescribinghimselfasaLiberal，saidthattheywereentirelyduetothehotweather。Thesuggestionwaseagerlytakenupbyothercreaturesofthesamekind，andIreallydonotseewhyitwasnotcarriedfartherandappliedtootherlamentableuprisingsinhistory。Thus，itisaremarkablefactthattheweatherisgenerallyratherwarminEgypt；andthiscannotbutthrowalightonthesuddenandmysteriousimpulseoftheIsraelitestoescapefromcaptivity。
TheEnglishstrikersusedsomebarrenrepublicanformula(aridasthedefinitionsofthemedievalschoolmen)，someacademicshibbolethaboutbeingfreemenandnotbeingforcedtoworkexceptforawageacceptedbythem。JustinthesamewaytheIsraelitesinEgyptemployedsomedryscholasticquibbleabouttheextremedifficultyofmakingbrickswithnothingtomakethemof。Butwhateverfantasticintellectualexcusestheymayhaveputforwardfortheirstrangeandunnaturalconductinwalkingoutwhentheprisondoorwasopen，therecanbenodoubtthattherealcausewasthewarmweather。Suchaclimatenotoriouslyalsoproducesdelusionsandhorriblefancies，suchasMr。Kiplingdescribes。
AnditwaswhiletheirbrainsweredisorderedbytheheatthattheJewsfanciedthattheywerefoundinganation，thattheywereledbyaprophet，and，inshort，thattheyweregoingtobeofsomeimportanceintheaffairsoftheworld。
NorcanthehistoricalstudentfailtonotethattheFrenchmonarchywaspulleddowninAugust；andthatAugustisamonthinsummer。
Inspiteofallthis，however，IhavesomelittledifficultymyselfinacceptingsosimpleaformoftheMaterialistTheoryofHistory(atthesewordsallMarxianSocialistswillpleasebowtheirheadsthreetimes)，andIratherthinkthatexceptionsmightbefoundtotheprinciple。Yetitisnotchieflysuchexceptionsthatembarrassmybeliefinit。
No；mydifficultyisratherinaccountingforthestrangecoincidencebywhichtheshaftsofApollosplitusexclusivelyalongcertainlinesofclassandofeconomics。Icannotunderstandwhyallsolicitorsdidnotleaveoffsoliciting，alldoctorsleaveoffdoctoring，alljudgesleaveoffjudging，allbenevolentbankersleaveofflendingmoneyathighinterest，andallrisingpoliticiansleaveoffhavingnothingtoaddtowhattheirrighthonourablefriendtoldtheHouseabouteightyearsago。
Thequainttheoreticpleaoftheworkers，thattheywerestrikingbecausetheywereillpaid，seemstoreceiveasortofwildandhazyconfirmationfromthefactthat，throughoutthehottestweather，judgesandotherpersonswhoareparticularlywellpaidshowednodispositiontostrike。
Ihavetofallbackthereforeonmetaphysicalfanciesofmyown；andI
continuetobelievethattheangeroftheEnglishpoor(tostealaphrasefromSirThomasBrowne)camefromsomethinginmanthatisotherthantheelementsandthatowesnohomageuntothesun。
Whencomfortablepeoplecometotalkingstuffofthatsort，itisreallytimethatthecomfortableclassesmadeashortsummaryandconfessionofwhattheyhavereallydonewiththeverypoorEnglishman。Thedawnofthemediaevalcivilisationfoundhimaserf；whichisadifferentthingfromaslave。Hehadsecurity；althoughthemanbelongedtothelandratherthanthelandtotheman。Hecouldnotbeevicted；hisrentcouldnotberaised。Inpractice，itcametosomethinglikethis:thatifthelordrodedownhiscabbageshehadnotmuchchanceofredress；buthehadthechanceofgrowingmorecabbages。Hehaddirectaccesstothemeansofproduction。
