ThenecessityoftakingsomeactiontoavertwhatInowrealizedasaninfamypresseduponme,yetinconflictwiththepressureofthisnecessitytherepersistedthatoldrebellion,thatbitternesswhichhadbeengrowingalltheseyearsagainstthemanwho,aboveallothers,seemedtometorepresenttheforcessettingatnoughtmyachievements,bringingmetothispass
IthoughtofappealingtoLeonardDickinson,whosurely,ifheknewofit,wouldnotpermitthisthingtobedone;andhewastheonlymanwiththepossibleexceptionofMillerGorsewhomightbeabletorestrainJuddJason.ButIdelayeduntilaftertheluncheonhour,whenIcalledupthebankonthetelephone,todiscoverthatitwasclosed.IhadforgottenthatthedaywasSaturday.IwaspreparedtosaythatIwouldwithdrawfromthecampaign,warnKrebsmyselfifthiskindoftacticswerenotsuppressed.ButIcouldnotgetthebanker.ThenIbegantohavedoubtsofDickinson\'spowerinthematter.JuddJasonhadneverbeentractable,byanymeans;hehadalwaysmaintainedaconsiderableindependenceofthefinancialpowers,andto-daynotonlyfinancialcontrol,butthedominanceofJasonhimselfwasatstake.Hewouldfightforittothelastditch,andmakeuseofanymeans.No,itwasofnousetoappealtohim.Whatthen?Well,therewasareaction,oranattemptatone.
Krebshadnotbeenbornyesterday,hehadavoidedthewilesofthepoliticiansheretofore,hewouldn\'tbefoolenoughtobetakeninnow.I
toldmyselfthatifIwerenotinastateborderingonanervousbreakdown,Ishouldlaughatsuchmorbidfears,Isteadiedmyselfsufficientlytodictatetheextractfrommyspeechthatwastobepublished.Iwastomakeaddressesattwohalls,alternatingwithParks,themayoraltycandidate.Atfouro\'clockIwentbacktomyroomintheClubtotrytogetsomerest
Seddon\'sHall,theplaceofmyfirstmeeting,wasjammedthatSaturdaynight.Iwentthroughmyspeechautomatically,asinadream,thehabitoflongyearsassertingitself.Andyet——soIwastoldafterwards——mydeliverywasnotmechanical,andIactuallyachievedmoreemphasis,gaveagreaterimpressionofconvictionthanatanytimesincethenightIhadlostmycontrolandviolentlydenouncedthereformers.BysomeastonishingsubconsciousprocessIhadregainedmymanner,buttheapplausecametomeasfromadistance.Notonlywasmymindnotthere;
itdidnotseemtobeanywhere.Iwasdazed,nordidIfeel——saveonce——
afleetingsurgeofcontemptforthemobbelowmewiththeirsillyfacesupturnedtomine.Theremayhavebeenintelligentexpressionsamongthem,buttheyfailedtocatchmyeye.
IrememberbeingstoppedbyGriersonasIwasgoingoutofthesideentrance.Hetookmyhandandsqueezedit,andtherewasonhisfaceanodd,surprisedlook.
\"Thatwasthebestyet,Hugh,\"hesaid.
Iwentonpasthim.Lookingbackonthateveningnow,itwouldalmostseemasthoughthevolitionofanotherpossessedme,notmyown:
seemingly,IhadeveryintentionofgoingontotheNationalTheatre,inwhichParkshadjustspoken,andasIdescendedthenarrowstairwayandemergedonthesidestreetIcaughtsightofmychauffeurawaitingmebythecurb.
\"I\'mnotgoingtothatothermeeting,\"Ifoundmyselfsaying.\"I\'mprettytired.\"
\"ShallIdriveyoubacktotheClub,sir?\"heinquired.
\"No——I\'llwalkback.Waitamoment.\"Ienteredtheear,turnedonthelightandscribbledahastynotetoAndrews,thechairmanofthemeetingattheNational,tellinghimthatIwastootiredtospeakagainthatnight,andtoaskoneoftheyoungermentheretotakemyplace.ThenI
gotoutofthecarandgavethenotetothechauffeur.
\"You\'reallright,sir?\"heasked,withanoteofanxietyinhisvoice.
Hehadbeenwithmealongtime.
Ireassuredhim.Hestartedthecar,andIwatcheditabsentlyasitgatheredspeedandturnedthecorner.Ibegantowalk,slowlyatfirst,thenmoreandmorerapidlyuntilIhadgainedabreathlesspace;intenminutesIwasinWestStreet,standinginfrontoftheTemplar\'sHallwherethemeetingoftheCitizensUnionwestinprogress.NowthatIhadarrivedthere,doubtanduncertaintyassailedme.Ihadcomeasitwereinspiteofmyself,thrustonwardbyanimpulseIdidnotunderstand,whichdidnotseemtobemine.WhatwasIgoingtodo?Theproceedingsuddenlyappearedtomeasridiculous,tingedwiththeweirdnessofsomnambulism.Irevolted,walkedaway,gotasfarasthecornerandstoodbesidealamppost,pretendingtobewaitingforacar.Thestreetlightswerereflectedinperpendicular,wavy-yellowribbonsonthewetasphalt,andIstoodstaringwithfoolishintentnessatthisphenomenon,wonderinghowapainterwouldgettheeffectinoils.AgainIwaswalkingbacktowardsthehall,combatingtheacknowledgmenttomyselfthatIhadaplan,aplanthatIdidnotforamomentbelieveIwouldcarryout.Iwasshivering.
Iclimbedthesteps.Thewidevestibulewasemptyexceptfortwomenwhostoppedalow-tonedconversationtolookatme.Iwonderedwhethertheyrecognizedme;thatImightberecognizedwasanalarmingpossibilitywhichhadnotoccurredtome.
\"Whoisspeaking?\"Iasked.
\"Mr.Krebs,\"answeredthetallermanofthetwo.
Thehumofapplausecamefrombehindtheswingingdoors.Ipushedthemopencautiously,passingsuddenlyoutofthecoldintothereeking,heatedatmosphereofabuildingpackedwithhumanbeings.Thespacebehindtherearseatswasfilledwithmenstanding,andthosenearestglancedaroundwithannoyanceattheinterruptionofmyentrance.Imademywayalongthewall,finallyreachingasideaisle,whenceIcouldgetsightoftheplatformandthespeaker.
Iheardhiswordsdistinctly,butatfirstlackedthefacultyofstringingthemtogether,orratherofextractingtheircollectivesense.
Thephrasesindeedweresetringingthroughmymind,Ifoundmyselfrepeatingthemwithoutanyreferencetotheirmeaning;Ihadreachedthepeculiarpitchofexcitementthatcounterfeitsabnormalcalm,andallsenseofstrangenessatbeingthereinthatmeetinghadpassedaway.I
begantowonderhowImightwarnKrebs,andpresentlydecidedtosendhimanotewhenheshouldhavefinishedspeaking——butIcouldn\'tmakeupmymindwhethertoputmynametothenoteornot.OfcourseIneedn\'thaveenteredthehallatall:Imighthavesentinmynoteatthesidedoor.
ImusthavewishedtoseeKrebs,tohearhimspeak;toobserve,perhaps,theeffectontheaudience.Inspiteofmyinabilitytotakeinwhathewassaying,Iwasabletoregardhimobjectively,——objectively,inarestrictedsense.Inoticedthathehadgrowneventhinner;thefleshhadfallenawayfromunderhischeek-bones,andthereweresharp,deep,almostperpendicularlinesoneithersideofhismouth.Hewasemaciated,thatwastheword.Onceinawhilehethrusthishandthroughhisdry,ashyhairwhichwasofatonewiththepalenessofhisface.
Suchwashisonlygesture.
Hespokequietly,leaningwithoneelbowagainstthesideofhisreadingstand.Theoccasionalpulsationsofapplausewerealmostimmediatelyhushed,asthoughthepeoplefearedtoloseevenawordthatshouldfallfromhisdrylips.Whatwasithewastalkingabout?Itriedtoconcentratemyattention,withonlypartialsuccess.Hewasexplainingthenewtheoryofcitygovernmentthatdidnotattempttoevade,butdealtfranklywiththehumanneedsofto-day,andsoughttomeetthoseneedsinapositivewayWhathadhappenedtome,thoughIdidnotrealizeit,wasthatIhadgraduallycomeundertheinfluenceofatragicspellnotattributabletothewordsIheard,existingindependentlyofthem,pervadingthespacioushall,weavingintounitydissentientminds.
Andthen,withwhatseemedaretardedratherthansuddenawareness,I
knewthathehadstoppedspeaking.Oncemoreheranhishandthroughhishair,hewasseeminglygropingforwordsthatwouldnotcome.Iwaspiercedbyastrangeagony——theamazingsourceofwhich,seemedtobeasmileonthefaceofHermannKrebs,anineffablesmileilluminatingtheplacelikeaflashoflight,inwhichsufferingandtragedy,comradeshipandlovingkindness——allweremingled.Hestoodforamomentwiththatsmileonhisface——swayed,andwouldhavefallenhaditnotbeenforthequicknessofamanontheplatformbehindhim,andintowhosearmshesank.
Inaninstantpeoplehadrisenintheirseats,menwerehurryingdowntheaisles,whileapeculiarhumanmurmurorwailpersistedlikeanundertonebeneaththeconfusionofnoises,strikingtheverynoteofmyownfeelings.AbovetheheadsofthoseaboutmeIsawKrebsbeingcarriedofftheplatformThechairmanmotionedforsilenceandinquirediftherewereaphysicianintheaudience,andthenallbegantotalkatonce.Themanwhostoodbesidemeclutchedmyarm.
\"Ihopeheisn\'tdead!Say,didyouseethatsmile?MyGod,I\'llneverforgetit!\"
TheexclamationpoignantlyvoicedtheesteeminwhichKrebswasheld.AsIwasthrustalongoutofthehallbytheebbofthecrowdstillotherexpressionsofthisesteemcametomeinfragments,expressionsofsorrowanddismay,ofaloyaltyIhadnotimagined.Mingledwiththesewereoccasionalremarksofskepticsshaken,inhumanfashion,bythesuggestionoftheinevitableendthatneverfailstosoberandterrifyhumanity.
\"Iguesshewasabiggermanthanwethought.Therewasalotofsenseinwhathehadtosay.\"
\"Theresurewas,\"thecompanionofthisspeakeranswered.
Theyspokeofhiminthepasttense.IwasseizedandobsessedbythefearthatIshouldneverseehimagain,andatthesamemomentIrealizedsharplythatthiswastheonethingIwanted——toseehim.Ipushedthroughthepeople,gainedthestreet,andfairlyrandownthealleythatledtothesideentranceofthehall,whereasmallgroupwasgatheredunderthelightthathungabovethedoorway.Therestoodonthestep,alittleabovetheothers,ayoungmaninagreyflannelshirt,evidentlyamechanic.Iaddressedhim.
\"Whatdoesthedoctorsay?\"
Beforereplyinghesurveyedmewithsurpriseand,Ithink,withinstinctivesuspicionofmyclothesandbearing.
\"Whatcanhesay?\"heretorted.
\"Youmean——?\"Ibegan.
\"ImeanMr.Krebsoughtn\'tnevertohavegoneintothiscampaign,\"heanswered,relentingatrifle,perhapsatthetoneofmyvoice.\"Heknewit,too,andsomeofusfellowstriedtostophim.Butwecouldn\'tdonothingwithhim,\"headdeddejectedly.
\"Whatis——thetrouble?\"Iasked.
\"Theytellmeit\'shisheart.Hewouldn\'ttalkaboutit.\"
\"WhenIthinkofwhathedoneforourunion!\"exclaimedathick-setman,plainlyasteelworker.\"He\'sjustworehimselfout,fightingthatcrookedgang.\"Hestaredwithsuddenaggressivenessatme.\"Haven\'tI
seenyousome-wheres?\"hedemanded.
Adenialwasonmylipswhenthesharp,sinisterstrokesofabellwereheardcomingnearer.
\"It\'stheambulance,\"saidthemanonthestep.
Glancingupthealleybeyondthefiguresoftwopolicemenwhohadarrivedandwereholdingthepeopleback,Isawthehoodoftheconveyanceasitcametoahalt,andimmediatelyahospitaldoctorandtwoassistantscarryingastretcherhurriedtowardsus,andwemadewayforthemtoenter.Afterabriefinterval,theywereheardcomingslowlydownthestepsinside.Bythewhite,cruellightofthearcIsawKrebslyingmotionlessIlaidholdofoneofthemenwhohadbeenontheplatform.Hedidnotresenttheact,heseemedtoanticipatemyquestion.
\"He\'sconscious.Thedoctorsexpecthimtorallywhenhegetstothehospital.\"
IwalkedbacktotheClubtodiscoverthatseveralinquirieshadbeenmadeaboutme.Reportershadbeenthere,RepublicanHeadquartershadtelephonedtoknowifIwereill.LeavingwordthatIwasnottobedisturbedunderanycircumstances,Iwenttomyroom,andspentmostofthenightindistractedthought.WhenatlastmorningcameIbreakfastedearly,searchingthenewspapersforaccountsoftheoccurrenceatTemplar\'sHall;andthefactthatthesewereneitherconspicuousnorcircumstantialwasinthenatureofatriumphofself-controlonthepartofeditorsandreporters.News,howeversensational,hadseverelytobecondensedintheinterestofacause,andatthiscriticalstageofthecampaigntomakeatragicheroofHermannKrebswouldhavebeentheheightoffolly.Therewereacoupleofparagraphsgivingthegistofhisspeech,andastatementattheendthathehadbeentakenillandconveyedtothePresbyterianHospital
ThehospitalitselfloomedupbeforemethatSundaymorningasI
approacheditalongBallantyneStreet,adilutedsunshinewashingtheextended,businesslikefacadeofgrimy,yellowbrick.Wewereproudofthathospitalinthecity,andmanyofourforemostcitizenshadcontributedlargesumsofmoneytothebuilding,scarcelytenyearsold.
IthadbeenoneofMaude\'sinterests.Iwasusheredintothereceptionroom,wherepresentlycamethephysicianincharge,aDr.Castle,oneofthosequiet-mannered,modernyoungmedicalmenwhobearontheirpersonstheverystampofefficiency,ofthedignityofascientificprofession.
Hisgreetingimpliedthatheknewallaboutme,hispresenceseemedtoincreasetheagitationItriednottobetray,andmusthavebetrayed.
\"CanIdoanythingforyou,Mr.Paret?\"heasked.
\"IhavecometoinquireaboutMr.Krebs,whowasbroughtherelastnight,Ibelieve.\"
Iwasawareforaninstantofhispenetrating,professionalglance,theonlyindicationofthesurprisehemusthavefeltthatHermannKrebs,ofallmen,shouldbetheobjectofmysolicitude.
\"Why,wesenthimhomethismorning.NineteentwentysixFowlerStreet.
Hewantedtogo,andtherewasnouseinhisstaying.\"
\"Hewillrecover?\"Iasked.
Thephysicianshookhishead,gazingatmethroughhisglasses.
\"Hemayliveamonth,Mr.Paret,hemaydieto-morrow.Heoughtnevertohavegoneintothiscampaign,heknewhehadthistrouble.Hepburnwarnedhimthreemonthsago,andthere\'snomanwhoknowsmoreabouttheheartthanHepburn.\"
\"Thenthere\'snohope?\"Iasked.
\"Absolutelynone.It\'sagreatpity.\"Headded,afteramoment,\"Mr.
Krebswasaremarkableman.\"
\"Nineteentwenty-sixFowlerStreet?\"Irepeated.
\"Yes.\"
Iheldoutmyhandmechanically,andhepressedit,andwentwithmetothedoor.
\"Nineteentwenty-sixFowlerStreet,\"herepeated
ThemeanandsordidaspectofFowlerStreetemphasizedandseemedtotypifymydespair,thepungentcoalsmokestifledmylungsevenasitstifledmyspirit.Uglyfactories,whichwerelittlemorethansweatshops,woreanempty,menacing,\"Sunday\"look,andthefaintNovembersunlightglistenedondirtypavementswherechildrenweremakingasemblanceofplay.Monotonousrowsofredhousessucceededoneanother,somepushedforward,othersthrustbackbehindlittleplotsofstampedearth.IntooneoftheseIturned.Itseemedalittlecleaner,betterkept,lesssordidthantheothers.Ipulledthebell,andpresentlythedoorwasopenedbyawomanwhosearmswerebaretotheelbow.Sheworeablue-checkedcalicoapronthatcametoherthroat,buttheapronwasclean,andherfirmthoughfurrowedfacegaveevidencesofrecenthousewifelyexertions.Hereyeshadthestrangelookofthecheerfulnessthatisintimatelyacquaintedwithsorrow.Shedidnotseemsurprisedatseeingme.
\"IhavecometoaskaboutMr.Krebs,\"Itoldher.
\"Oh,yes,\"shesaid,\"there\'sbeensomanyherethismorningalready.
It\'swonderfulhowpeoplelovehim,allkindsofpeople.No,sir,hedon\'tseemtobeinanypain.Twogentlemenareuptherenowinhisroom,Imean.\"
Shewipedherarms,whichstillboretracesofsoap-suds,andthen,withagesturenaturalandunashamed,liftedthecornerofheraprontohereyes.
\"DoyouthinkIcouldseehim——foramoment?\"Iasked.\"I\'veknownhimforalongtime.\"
