\"Incurablyromantic,\"shehadcalledme,incalmermoments,whenIwasabletodiscussouraffairobjectively.AndonceshedeclaredthatIhadnosenseoftragedy.Weread\"Macbeth\"together,Iremember,onerainySunday.Themodernworld,whichwasourgeneration,wouldseemtobecutofffromallthatprecededitaswithadescendingknife.Itwaspreciselyfrom\"thesenseoftragedy\"thatwehadbeenemancipated:fromthe\"agonizedconscience,\"Ishouldundoubtedlyhavesaid,hadIbeenacquaintedthenwithMr.Santayana\'slaterphrase.Conscience,——theoldkindofconscience,——andnothinginherentinthedeedsthemselves,madethetragedy;consciencewassuperstition,thefearofthewrathofthegods:consciencewasthewrathofthegods.Eliminateit,andbehold!
therewerenoconsequences.Thegodsthemselves,thatkindofgods,becameasextinctasthedeitiesoftheDruids,theGreekfates,theterriblefiguresofGermanmythology.Yes,andastheGodofChristianorthodoxy.
HadanydirecalamitiesovertakenthemodernMacbeths,ofwhosepersonalliveswehappenedtoknowsomething?Hadnotthesegreatonesbrokenwithimpunityallthelawsoftraditionalmorality?Theygroundthefacesofthepoor,playedgolfandwenttochurchwithsereneminds,untroubledbycriticism;theyappropriated,quitefreely,othermen\'smoney,andsomeofthemothermen\'swives,andyettheywerenothaggardwithremorse.Thegodsremainedsilent.Christianministersregardedthesemoderntransgressorsofancientlawsbenignlyandacceptedtheircontributions.Here,indeed,werethesupermenofthemadGermanprophetandphilosophercometolife,refutingallclassictragedy.Itistruethatsomeofthesesupermenwereoccasionallysweptawaybydisease,whichinancientdayswouldhavebeenregardedasaretributivescourge,butwasinfactnothingbutthelogicalworkingofthelawsofhygiene,theresultofoverwork.Such,thoughstatedmorecrudely,weremycontentionswhendesiredidnotcloudmybrainandmakemeincoherent.
AndIdidnotfailtoremindNancy,constantly,thatthiswasthepathonwhichherfeethadbeenset;thattowavernowwastoperish.Shesmiled,yetsheshowedconcern.
\"Butsupposeyoudon\'tgetwhatyouwant?\"sheobjected.\"Whatthen?
Supposeonedoesn\'tbecomeasuperman?orasuperwoman?What\'stohappentoone?Istherenogodbutthesuperman\'sgod,whichishimself?Aretherenogodsforthosewhocan\'tbesupermen?orforthosewhomayrefusetobesupermen?\"
Torefuse,Imaintained,wereaweaknessofthewill.
\"Butthereareotherwills,\"shepersisted,\"willsoverwhichthesupermanmayconceivablyhavenocontrol.Suppose,forexample,thatyoudon\'tgetme,thatmywillintervenes,grantingittobeconceivablethatyourfuturehappinessandwelfare,asyouinsist,dependuponyourgettingme——whichIdoubt.\"
\"You\'venoreasontodoubtit.\"
\"Well,grantingit,then.Supposetheorthodoxiesandsuperstitionssucceedininhibitingme.Imaynotbeasuperwoman,butmywill,ormyconscience,ifyouchoose,maybestrongerthanyours.Ifyoudon\'tgetwhatyouwant,youaren\'thappy.Inotherwords,youfail.Whereareyourgodsthen?Thetroublewithyou,mydearHugh,isthatyouhaveneverfailed,\"shewenton,\"you\'veneverhadagood,hardfall,you\'vealwaysbeenonthewinningside,andyou\'veneverhadtheworldagainstyou.Nowonderyoudon\'tunderstandthemeaningandvalueoftragedy.\"
\"Andyou?\"Iasked.
\"No,\"sheagreed,\"norI.YetIhavecometofeel,instinctively,thatsomehowconcealedintragedyisthecentralfactoflife,thetruereality,thatnothingistobegotbydodgingit,aswehavedodgedit.
Yoursuperman,atleastthekindofsupermanyouportray,ispetrified.
Somethingvitalinhim,thatshouldbeplasticandsensitive,hasturnedtostone.\"
\"Sincewhendidyoubegintofeelthis?\"Iinquireduneasily.
\"Since——well,sincewehavebeentogetheragain,inthelastmonthortwo.Somethingseemstowarnmethatifwetake——whatwewant,weshan\'tgetit.That\'sanIrishsaying,Iknow,butitexpressesmymeaning.I
maybelittle,Imaybesuperstitious,unlikethegreatwomenofhistorywhohavedared.Butit\'smorethanmereplayingsafe——myinstinct,I
mean.Yousee,youareinvolved.IbelieveIshouldn\'thesitateifonlymyselfwereconcerned,butyouaretheuncertainquantity——moreuncertainthanyouhaveanyidea;youthinkyouknowyourself,youthinkyouhaveanalyzedyourself,butthetruthis,Hugh,youdon\'tknowthemeaningofstruggleagainstrealresistance.\"
Iwasabouttoprotest.
\"Iknowthatyouhaveconqueredintheworldofmenandaffairs,\"shehurriedon,\"againstresistance,butitisn\'tthekindofresistanceI
mean.Itdoesn\'tdifferessentiallyfromthestruggleintheanimalkingdom.\"
Ibowed.\"Thankyou,\"Isaid.
Shelaughedalittle.
\"Oh,Ihaveworshippedsuccess,too.PerhapsIstilldo——thatisn\'tthepoint.Ananimalconquershisprey,heisincompetition,inconstantcombatwithothersofhisownkind,andperhapshebringstobearacertainamountofintelligenceintheprocess.Intelligenceisn\'tthepoint,either.IknowwhatI\'msayingistrite,it\'sbanal,itsoundslikemoralizing,andperhapsitis,butthereissomuchconfusionto-daythatIthinkweareindangeroflosingsightofthesimplerverities,andthatwemustsufferforit.Yoursuper-animal,yoursupreme-stagsubduestheotherstags,butheneverconquershimself,heneverfeelstheneedofit,andthereforehenevercomprehendswhatwecalltragedy.\"
\"Igatheryourinference,\"Isaid,smiling.
\"Well,\"sheadmitted,\"Ihaven\'tstatedthecasewiththeshadeofdelicacyitdeserves,butIwantedtomakemymeaningclear.WehaveraisedupaclassinAmerica,butwehavelostsight,alittle——
considerably,Ithink——ofthedistinguishinghumancharacteristics.Themenyouwereeulogizingarelordsoftheforest,moreorless,andwewomen,whoareoftheirownkind,whattheyhavemadeus,surrenderourselvesinsubmissionandadorationtothelordlystaginthefaceofallthesacramentsthathavebeenpainfullyinauguratedbytheracefortheverypurposeofdistinguishingusfromanimals.Itisequivalenttosayingthatthereisnomorallaw;or,ifthereis,nobodycandefineit.
Wedeny,inferentially,ahumanrealmasdistinguishedfromtheanimal,andinthedenialitseemstomewearecuttingourselvesofffromwhatisessentialhumandevelopment.Wearerevertingtotheanimal.Ihavelostandyouhavelost——notentirely,perhaps,butstilltoaconsiderableextent——thebloomofthatfervour,ofthatidealism,wemaycallit,thatbothofuspossessedwhenwewereinourteens.Wehadoccasionalvisions.Wedidn\'tknowwhattheymeant,orhowtosetabouttheiraccomplishment,buttheywerenot,atleast,mereselfishaspirations;theyimplied,unconsciouslynodoubt,anelementofservice,andcertainlyouridealofmarriagehadsomethingfineinit.\"
\"Isn\'titforahigheridealofmarriagethatwearesearching?\"Iasked.
\"Ifthatisso,\"Nancyobjected,\"thenalltheotherelementsofourlivesaresadlyoutoftunewithit.Eventhemostfelicitousunionofthesexesdemandssacrifice,anadjustmentofwills,andthesearetheverythingswebalkat;andthetroublewithourentireclassinthiscountryisthatwewon\'tacknowledgeanyresponsibility,there\'snosacrificeinoureminence,wehavenosenseofthewhole.\"
\"Wheredidyougetalltheseideas?\"Idemanded.
Shelaughed.
\"Well,\"sheadmitted,\"I\'vebeenthrashingaroundalittle;andI\'vereadsomeofthemoderns,youknow.DoyouremembermytellingyouIdidn\'tagreewiththem?andnowthisthinghascomeonmelikeajudgment.I\'vecaughttheirmaniaforliberty,forself-realization——whatevertheycallit——buttheirremediesarevague,theyfailtoconvincemethatindividualsachieveanyqualitybyjusttakingwhattheywant,regardlessofothers.\"
Iwasunabletomeetthisargument,andtheresultwasthatwhenIwasawayfromherItoobeganto\"thrasharound\"amongthebooksinavainsearchforaradicalwithaconvincingandsatisfyingphilosophy.Thusweflytoliteratureincrisesoftheheart!Therewasnolackofwriterswhosoughttodeal——anddealtriumphantlywiththeverysituationinwhichIwasimmersed.Imarkedmanypassages,toreadthemovertoNancy,whowasinterested,butwhoaccusedmeofbeingwillingtoembraceanyphilosophy,ancientormodern,thatranwiththestreamofmydesires.Itisworthrecordingthatthetruthofthisstruckhome.OnmywaybacktothecityIreflectedthat,inspiteofmyprotestsagainstMaude\'sgoing——protestswhollysentimentalandimpelledbythedesiretoavoidgivingpainonthespot——IhadapprovedofherdeparturebecauseI
didn\'twanther.OntheotherhandIhadtoacknowledgeifIhadn\'twantedNancy,orrather,ifIhadbecometiredofher,IshouldhavebeenwillingtoendorseherscruplesItwasnotacomfortingthought.
OnemorningwhenIwasabsentlyopeningthemailIfoundatmyofficeI
pickedupaletterfromTheodoreWatling,writtenfromaseasideresortinMaine,thecontentsofwhichsurprisedandtouchedme,troubledme,andcompelledmetofaceasituationwithwhichIwaswhollyunpreparedtocope.HeannouncedthatthiswastobehislasttermintheSenate.
Hedidnotnamethetroublehisphysicianhaddiscovered,buthehadbeenwarnedthathemustretirefromactivelife.\"ThespecialistwhomIsawinNewYork,\"hewenton,\"wishedmetoresignatonce,butwhenI
pointedouttohimhowunfairthiswouldbetomyfriendsinthestate,tomypartyasawhole——especiallyintheseseriousandunsettledtimes——
heagreedthatImightwithpropercareserveouttheremainderofmyterm.IhavefeltitmydutytowritetoBarbourandDickinsonandoneortwoothersinorderthattheymightbepreparedandthatnotimemaybelostinchoosingmysuccessor.Itistruethattherevoltwithinthepartyhasnevergainedmuchheadwayinourstate,butinthesedaysitisdifficulttotellwhenandwhereaconflagrationmaybreakout,orhowfaritwillgo.IhaveventuredtorecommendtothemthemanwhoseemstomethebestequippedtocarryontheworkIhavebeentryingtodohere——inshort,mydearHugh,yourself.TheSenate,asyouknow,isnotabedofrosesjustnowforthosewhothinkaswedo;
butIhavethelesshesitancyinmakingtherecommendationbecauseI
believeyouarenotonetoshunafightfortheconvictionsweholdincommon,andbecauseyouwouldregard,withme,theelectionofasenatorwiththenewviewsasaveryrealcalamity.IfsoundbusinessmenandlawyersshouldbeeliminatedfromtheSenate,Icouldnotcontemplatewithanypeaceofmindwhatmighthappentothecountry.Inthusurgingyou,IknowyouwillbelievemewhenIsaythatmyaffectionandjudgmentareequallyinvolved,foritwouldbeamatterofgreaterpridethanI
canexpresstohaveyoufollowmehereasyouhavefollowedmeathome.
AndIbegofyouseriouslytoconsideritIunderstandthatMaudeandthechildrenareabroad.Remembermetothemaffectionatelywhenyouwrite.Ifyoucanfinditconvenienttocomehere,toMaine,todiscussthematter,youmaybesureofawelcome.Inanycase,IexpecttobeinWashingtoninSeptemberforameetingofourspecialcommittee.
Sincerelyandaffectionatelyyours,TheodoreWatling.\"
Itwascharacteristicofhimthatthetoneofthelettershouldbeuniformlycheerful,thatheshouldsaynothingwhateveroftheblowthismustbetohisambitionsandhopes;andmyagitationatthenewanddisturbingprospectthusopenedupformewasmomentarilysweptawaybyfeelingsofaffectionandsorrow.AsharprealizationcametomeofhowmuchIadmiredandlovedthisman,andthiswasfollowedbyapangatthethoughtofthedisappointmentmyrefusalwouldgivehim.ComplicationsI
didnotwishtoexamineweretheninthebackofmymind;andwhileI
stillsatholdingtheletterinmyhandthetelephonerang,andamessagecamefromLeonardDickinsonbeggingmetocallatthebankatonce.
MillerGorsewasthere,andTallant,wavingapalm-leafwhilesittingundertheelectricfan.Theywereallverygrave,andtheybegantotalkaboutthesuddennessofMr.Watling\'sillnessandtospeculateuponitsnature.LeonardDickinsonwasthemostmovedofthethree;buttheywerealldistressed,andshowedit——evenTallant,whomIhadnevercreditedwithanyfeelings;theyspokeaboutthelosstothestate.AtlengthGorsetookacigarfromhispocketandlightedit;thesmoke,impelledbythefan,driftedoverthepanelledpartitionintothebank.
\"IsupposeMr.Watlingmentionedtoyouwhathewrotetous,\"hesaid.
\"Yes,\"Iadmitted.
\"Well,\"heasked,\"whatdoyouthinkofit?\"
\"IattributeittoMr.Watling\'sfriendship,\"Ireplied.
\"No,\"saidGorse,inhisbusinesslikemanner,\"Watling\'sright,there\'snooneelse.\"Consideringthenumberofinhabitantsofourstate,thisremarkhaditshumorousaspect.
\"That\'strue,\"Dickinsonputin,\"there\'snooneelseavailablewhounderstandsthesituationasyoudo,Hugh,nooneelsewecantrustaswetrustyou.IhadawirefromMr.Barbourthismorning——heagrees.We\'llmissyouhere,butnowthatWatlingwillbegonewe\'llneedyouthere.
Andhe\'sright——it\'ssomethingwe\'vegottodecideonrightaway,andgetstartedonsoon,wecan\'taffordtowobbleandrunanychancesofarevolt.\"
\"Itisn\'teverybodythesenatorshipcomestoonaplatter——especiallyatyourage,\"saidTallant.
\"Totellyouthetruth,\"Ianswered,addressingDickinson,\"I\'mnotpreparedtotalkaboutitnow.Iappreciatethehonour,butI\'mnotatallsureI\'mtherightman.AndI\'vebeenconsiderablyupsetbythisnewsofMr.Watling.\"
\"Naturallyyouwouldbe,\"saidthebanker,sympathetically,\"andweshareyourfeelings.Idon\'tknowofanymanforwhomIhaveagreateraffectionthanIhaveforTheodoreWading.Weshouldn\'thavementioneditnow,Hugh,ifWatlinghadn\'tstartedthethinghimself,ifitweren\'timportanttoknowwherewestandrightaway.Wecan\'taffordtolosetheseat.Takeyourtime,butrememberyou\'rethemanwedependupon.\"
Gorsenodded.Iwasaware,allthetimeDickinsonwasspeaking,ofbeingsurroundedbythestrange,disquietinggazeofthecounselfortheRailroad
Iwentbacktomyofficetospendanuneasymorning.MysorrowforMr.
Watlingwasgenuine,butneverthelessIfoundmyselfcompelledtoconsideranhonournomanlightlyrefuses.Haditpresenteditselfatanyothertime,haditbeenduetoahappiersituationthanthatbroughtaboutbytheillnessofamanwhomIlovedandadmired,Ishouldhavethoughttheprospectdazzlingindeed,partandparcelofmyamazingluck.
