alwaysthoughtoftheRailroadasspelledwithacapital.
\"MillerGorseisn\'tfortyyet,\"Larrytoldmeonanotheroccasion.
\"That\'sdoingprettywellforamanwhocomesnearrunningthisstate.\"
Forthesakeofacquiringknowledge,IenduredMr.Weed\'spatronage.I
inquiredhowMr.Gorseranthestate.
\"Oh,you\'llfindoutsoonenough,\"heassuredme,\"ButMr.Barbour\'spresidentoftheRailroad.\"
\"Sure.Onceinawhiletheytakesomethinguptohim,butasaruleheleavesthingstoGorse.\"
WhereuponIresolvedtohaveagoodlookatMr.Gorseatthefirstopportunity.OnedayMr.Watlingsentoutforsomepapers.
\"He\'sintherenow;\"saidLarry.\"Youtake\'em.\"
\"Inthere\"meantMr.Watling\'ssanctum.Andintherehewas.Ihadonlyaglanceatthegreatman,for,withakindlybutpreoccupied\"Thankyou,Hugh,\"Mr.Watlingtookthepapersanddismissedme.Heaviness,blacknessandimpassivity,——theseweretheimpressionsofMr.GorsewhichIcarriedawayfromthatfirstmeeting.Theverysolidityofhisfleshseemedtosuggestthesolidityofhisposition.Such,saythepsychologists,istheeffectofprestige.
Irememberwellanold-fashionedpicturepuzzleinoneofmyboyhoodbooks.Thescenedepictedwastoallappearancesasylvan,peacefulone,withtwohappyloversseatedonalogbesideabrook;butpresently,asonegazedatthepicture,theheadofananimalstoodforthamongthebranches,andthenthebody;moreanimalsbegantoappear,bitbybit;atiger,abear,alion,ajackal,afox,untilatlast,wheneverIlookedatthepage,Ididnotseethesylvansceneatall,butonlythepredatorybeastsoftheforest.So,onebyone,thefiguresoftherealrulersofthecitysuperimposedthemselvesformeuponthesimpleanddemocraticdesignofMayor,Council,BoardofAldermen,PoliceForce,etc.,thatfilledtheeyeofanaiveandtrustingelectoratewhichfondlyimaginedthatithadsomethingtosayingovernment.MillerGorsewasoneoftheserulersbehindthescreen,andAdolfScherer,oftheBoyneIronWorks,another;therewasLeonardDickinsonoftheCornNationalBank;FrederickGrierson,becomingwealthyincityrealestate;JudahB.
Tallant,who,thoughoutlawedsocially,wasdeferredtoastheowneroftheMorningEra;andevenRalphHambleton,rapidlysupersedingtheelderlyandconservativeMr.Lord,whohadhithertomanagedthegreatHambletonestate.Ralphseemedtohavebecome,inasomewhatgnosticmanner,afull-fledgedfinancier.Nothavingstudiedlaw,hehadbeenhomeforfouryearswhenIbecamealegalfledgling,andduringtheearlydaysofmyapprenticeshipIwasbeholdentohimformany\"eyeopeners\"
concerningtheconductofgreataffairs.IrememberhimsaunteringintomyroomonemorningwhenLarryWeedhadgoneoutonanerrand.
\"Hello,Hughie,\"hesaid,withhisairofhavingnothingtodo.
\"Grindingitout?Where\'sWatling?\"
\"Isn\'theinhisoffice?\"
\"No.\"
\"Well,whatcanwedoforyou?\"Iasked.
Ralphgrinned.
\"PerhapsI\'lltellyouwhenyou\'realittleolder.You\'retooyoung.\"
AndhesankdownintoLarryWeed\'schair,hislonglegsprotrudingontheothersideofthetable.\"It\'samatteroftaxes.SometimeagoIfoundoutthatDickinsonandTallantandothersIcouldmentionwerepayingagooddeallessontheircitypropertythanweare.Wedon\'tproposetodoitanymore——that\'sall.\"
\"HowcanMr.Watlinghelpyou?\"Iinquired.
\"Well,Idon\'tmindgivingyouafewtipsaboutyourprofession,Hughie.
I\'mgoingtogetWatlingtofixitupwiththeCityHallgang.OldLorddoesn\'tlikeit,I\'lladmit,andwhenItoldhimwehadbeencontributingtothecitylongenough,thatIproposedswingingintolinewithotherpropertyholders,hebegantoblubberaboutdisgraceandwhatmygrandfatherwouldsayifhewerealive.Well,heisn\'talive.Agooddealofwaterhasflowedunderthebridgessincehisday.It\'samerematterofbusiness,ofgettingyourrespectablefirmtoretainaCityHallattorneytofixitupwiththeassessor.\"
\"Howaboutthepenitentiary?\"Iventured,nottooseriously.
\"Ishan\'tgotothepenitentiary,neitherwillWatling.WhatIdoistopayalawyer\'sfee.Thereisn\'tanythingcriminalinthat,isthere?\"
ForsometimeafterRalphhaddepartedIsatreflectinguponthisnewknowledge,andtherecameintomymindthebitternessofCousinRobertBreckagainstthisCityHallgang,andhisremarksaboutlawyers.I
recalledthetoneinwhichhehadreferredtoMr.Watling.ButRalph\'sphilosophyeasilytriumphed.Whynotbepractical,andbecomemasterofasituationwhichonehadnotmade,andcouldnotalter,insteadofbeingoverwhelmedbyit?Needlesstosay,IdidnotmentiontheconversationtoMr.Watling,nordidhedwindleinmyestimation.Thesenecessarytransactionsdidnotinterfereinanywaywithhispersonalrelationships,andhisdayswerefilledwithkindnesses.AndwasnotMr.
Ripon,thejuniorpartner,oneoftheevangelicallightsofthecommunity,conductingadvancedBibleclasseseveryweekintheChurchoftheRedemption?Theunfoldingofmysterieskeptmealert.AndI
understoodthat,ifIwastosucceed,certainesotericknowledgemustbeacquired,asitwere,unofficially.Ikeptmyeyesandearsopen,andappliedmyself,withallindustry,totheroutinetaskswithwhicheveryyoungmaninalargelegalfirmisfamiliar.Irecalldistinctlymypridewhen,theBoardofAldermenhavingpassedanordinanceloweringthewaterrates,IwasintrustedwiththeresponsibilityofgoingbeforethecourtinbehalfofMr.Ogilvy\'swatercompany,obtainingatemporaryrestrictingorderpreventingtheordinancefromgoingatonceintoeffect.Herewasanaffairinpoint.WereitnotforlawyersofthecalibreofWatling,FowndesandRipon,hard-earnedprivatepropertywouldsoonbeconfiscatedbytherapacioushorde.OnceinawhileIwasmadeawarethatMr.Watlinghadhiseyeonme.
\"Well,Hugh,\"hewouldsay,\"howareyougettingalong?That\'sright,sticktoit,andafterawhilewe\'llhandthedrudgeryovertosomebodyelse.\"
Hepossessedthesupremequalityofaleaderofmeninthathetookpainstoinformhimselfconcerningtheworkoftheleastofhissubordinates;
andhehadthegiftofputtingfireintoayoungmanbyawordoratouchofthehandontheshoulder.Itwasnotdifficultforme,therefore,tocomprehendLarryWeed\'shero-worship,theloyaltyofothermembersofthefirmorofthoseoccupantsoftheofficewhomIhavenotmentioned.Myfirstimpressionofhim,whichIhadgotatJerryKyme\'s,deepenedastimewenton,andIreadilysharedthebeliefofthosearoundmethathislegaltalentseasilysurpassedthoseofanyofhiscontemporaries.Icanrecall,atthistime,severalnotedcasesinthecitywhenIsatincourtlisteningtohisargumentswiththrillsofpride.Hemadeusallfeel——
nomatterhowhumblemayhavebeenourcontributionstothepreparation——
thatwehadashareinhistriumphs.Werememberedhismannerwithjudgesandjuries,andstrovetoemulateit.Hespokeasiftherecouldbenoquestionastohisbeingrightastothelawandthefacts,andyet,insomesubtlewaythatbatedanalysis,managednottoantagonizethecourt.Victorywasintheairinthatoffice.Idonotmeantosaytherewerenotdefeats;butfrequentlythesedefeats,byresourcefulness,byanever-say-diespirit,byaconsummateknowledge,notonlyofthelaw,butofotherthingsatwhichIhavehinted,wereturnedintoultimatevictories.Wefoughtcasesfromonecourttoanother,untilouropponentswerewornoutorthedecisionwasreversed.Wewon,andthatspiritofwinninggotintotheblood.Whatwasmostimpressedonmeinthoseearlyyears,Ithink,wasthediscoverythattherewasalwaysapath——ifonewerecleverenoughtofindit——fromoneterracetothenexthigher.Stayingpowerwasthemostprizedofallthevirtues.Onecouldalways,byadroitness,compelalegalopponenttofightthematteroutalloveragainonnewground,oratleastongroundpartiallynew.IftheCourtofAppealsshouldfailone,therewastheSupremeCourt;therewastheopportunity,also,toshiftfromthestatetothefederalcourts;
andlikewisethemuch-prizeddeviceknownasachangeofvenue,whenajudgewassupposedtobe\"prejudiced.\"
IX.
AsmyapprenticeshipadvancedIgrewmoreandmoretotheinhabitantsofourcityintotwokinds,thewhowereserved,andtheinefficient,whowereseparateefficient,neglected;butthementalprocessofwhichtheclassificationwastheresultwasnotsodeliberateasmaybesupposed.
Sometimes,whenanimportantclientwouldgetintotrouble,theaffairtookmeintothepolicecourt,whereIsawtheriff-raffofthecitypennedup,waitingtohavejusticedoledouttothem:wearywomenwhohadspentthenightincells,indifferentnowastothefronttheypresentedtotheworld,thefineryruedthattheyhadtendedsocarefullytocatchtheeyesofmenonthedarkenedstreets;brazenyounggirls,whoblazedforthdefiancetoallorder;derelictmen,soddenandhopeless,withscrubbybeards;shiftylookingburglarsandpickpockets.AlltheseI
beheld,atfirstwithtwingesofpity,latertomassthemwiththeuglyandinevitablewithwhomsocietyhadtodealsomehow.Lawyers,afterall,mustbepracticalmen.Icametoknowthejusticesofthesepolicecourts,aswellasotherjudges.Andunderlyingmyacquaintancewithallofthemwastheknowledge——thoughnotonthethresholdofmyconsciousness——thattheydependedfortheirliving,everymanofthem,thosewhowereappointedandthosewhowereelected,uponapoliticalorganizationwhichderiveditssustenancefromtheelementwhencecameourclients.Thusbydegreesthesenseofbelongingtoaspecialpriesthoodhadgrownonme.
IrecallanexperiencewiththatsameMr.Nathan.Weill,thewholesalegrocerofwhosecommercewiththeCityHallmyCousinRobertBreckhadsobitterlycomplained.LateoneafternoonMr.Weill\'scarriageranoverachildonitswayup-townthroughoneofthepoorerdistricts.Theparents,naturally,werefrantic,andthecoachmanwasarrested.Thiswaslateintheafternoon,andIwasaloneintheofficewhenthetelephonerang.Hurryingtothepolicestation,IfoundMr.Weillinastateofexcitementandabjectfear,foranuglycrowdhadgatheredoutside.
\"CouldnotMr.WatlingorMr.Fowndescome?\"demandedthegrocer.
Withaninnercontemptforthelayman\'sstateofmindonsuchoccasionsI
assuredhimofmycompetencytohandlethecase.Hewasimpressed,I
think,bythesergeant\'sdeference,whoknewwhatitmeanttohavesuchanofficeasoursinterferewiththeaffair.Icalleduptheprosecutingattorney,whosenttoMonahan\'ssaloon,closeby,andprocuredareleaseforthecoachmanonhisownrecognizance,oneofmanysignedinblankandlefttherebythejusticeforprivilegedcases.Thecoachmanwashustledoutbyabackdoor,andthecrowddispersed.
Thenextmorning,whileascoreormoreofdelinquentssatintheanxiousseats,JusticeGarryrecognizedmeandgavemeprecedence.AndMr.
Weill,withasighofrelief,paidhisfine.
\"Mr.Paret,isit?\"heasked,aswestoodtogetherforamomentonthesidewalkoutsidethecourt.\"Youhavemanagedthiswell.Iwillremember.\"
Hewassued,ofcourse.WhenhecametotheofficeheinsistedondiscussingthecasewithMr.Watling,whosentforme.
\"Thatisabrightyoungman,\"Mr.Weilldeclared,shakingmyhand.\"Hewillgeton.\"
\"Someday,\"saidMr.Watling,\"hemaysaveyoualotofmoney,Weill.\"
\"WhenmyfriendMr.WatlingisUnitedStatesSenator,——eh?\"
Mr.Watlinglaughed.\"Beforethat,Ihope.Iadviseyoutocompromisethissuit,Weill,\"headded.\"Howwouldathousanddollarsstrikeyou?
I\'vehadParetlookupthecase,andhetellsmethelittlegirlhashadtohaveanoperation.\"
\"Athousanddollars!\"criedthegrocer.\"Whatrighthavethesepeopletolettheirchildrenplayonthestreets?It\'sanoutrage.\"
\"Whereelsehavethechildrentoplay?\"Mr.Watlingtouchedhisarm.
\"Weill,\"hesaidgently,\"supposeithadbeenyourlittlegirl?\"Thegrocerpulledouthishandkerchiefandmoppedhisbaldforehead.Butheralliedalittle.
\"Youfightthesedamagecasesforthestreetrailroadsallthroughthecourts.\"
\"Yes,\"Mr.Watlingagreed,\"butthereaprincipleisinvolved.Iftherailroadsoncegotintothewayofpayingdamagesforeverycarelessemployee,theywouldsoonbebankruptthroughblackmail.Buthereyouhaveachildwhosefatherisapoorjanitorandcan\'taffordsickness.
Andyourcoachman,Iimagine,willbemoreparticularinthefuture.\"
IntheendMr.Weillmadeoutachequeanddepartedinagoodhumour,convincedthathewaswelloutofthematter.HerewasoneofmanyinstancesIcouldciteofMr.Watling\'stendernessofheart.Ifelt,moreover,asifhehaddonemeapersonalfavour,sinceitwasIwhohadrecommendedthecompromise.ForIhadbeentothehospitalandhadseenthechildonthecot,——adarklittlething,lyingstillinherpain,withthebewilderedlookofawoundedanimal
NotlongafterthisincidentofMr.Weill\'sdamagesuitIobtainedamoreorlessdefinitepromotionbythedepartureofLarryWeed.Hehadsuddenlydevelopedaweaknessofthelungs.Mr.WatlinggothimaplaceinDenver,andpaidhisexpenseswest.
ThefirstsixorsevenyearsIspentintheofficeofWading,FowndesandRiponwereofimportancetomyfuturecareer,butthereislittletorelateofthem.Iwasabsorbednotonlyinlearninglaw,butinacquiringthatesotericknowledgeatwhichIhavehinted——nottobehadfrommyseniorsandwhichIwasconvincedwasindispensabletoasuccessfulandlucrativepractice.Myformercomparisonoftheorganizationofourcitytoapicturepuzzlewhereinthedominatingfiguresbecomevisibleonlyafterlongstudyisratherinadequate.A
betteranalogywouldbethehumananatomy:welawyers,ofcourse,werethebrains;thefinancialandindustrialintereststhebody,helplesswithoutus;theCityHallpoliticians,thestomachthatmustcontinuallybefed.Allthree,law,politicsandbusiness,wereinterdependent,unitedbyanervoussystemtoocomplextobedevelopedhere.Intheseyears,thoughIworkedhardandoftenlate,Istillfoundtimeforconvivialities,forsocialgaieties,yetlittlebylittlewithoutrealizingthefact,Iwaslosingzestforthecompanionshipofmyformerintimates.Mymindwasbecomingpolarizedbythecontemplationofoneobject,success,andtoithumantieswereunconsciouslybeingsacrificed.
TomPetersbegantofeelthis,evenatatimewhenIbelievedmyselfstilltobegenuinelyfondofhim.Consideringourrespectivetemperamentsinyouth,itiscuriousthatheshouldhavebeenthefirsttofallinloveandmarry.OnedayheastonishedmebyannouncinghisengagementtoSusanBlackwood.
\"Thatendstheliquor,Hughie,\"hetoldme,beamingly.\"IpromisedherI\'deliminateit.\"
Hedideliminateit,saveformildrelapsesonfestiveoccasions.Amoreseeminglyincongruousmarriagecouldscarcelybeimagined,andyetitwasasuccessfromthestart.Fromaslim,silent,self-willedgirlSusanhadgrownupintoatall,ratherrawbonedandenergeticyoungwoman.Shewaswhatwecalledinthosedays\"intellectual,\"andhadgoneinforkindergartens,andafterhermarriagesheturnedouttobeexcessivelydomestic;practisinghertheories,withentiresuccess,uponafamilythatshowedatendencytoincreaseatanalarmingrate.Tom,needlesstosay,didnotbecomeintellectual.Hesettleddown——prematurely,I
thought——intowhatisknownasafamilyman,curiouslycontentwiththeincomehederivedfromthecommissionbusinessandwithlifeingeneral;
andhedevelopedasomewhatcriticalviewofthetendenciesofthecivilizationbywhichhewassurrounded.Susanhelditalso,butshesaidlessaboutit.InthecomfortablebutunpretentioushousetheyrentedonCedarStreetwehadmanydiscussions,afterthebabieshadbeenputtobedandthedooroftheliving-roomclosed,inorderthatourvoicesmightnotreachthenursery.PerryBlackwood,nowTom\'sbrother-
in-law,wasoftenthere.He,too,hadlapsedintowhatIthoughtwasanoddconservatism.OldJosiah,hisfather,beingdead,heoccupiedhimselfmainlywithlookingaftercertainfamilyinterests,amongwhichwastheBoyneStreetcarline.Among\"businessmen\"hewasalreadygettingthereputationofbeingalittledifficulttodealwith.Iwasoftenthesubjectoftheirbanter,andpresentlyIbegantosuspectthattheyregardedmycareerandbeliefswithsomeconcern.Thisgavemenouneasiness,thoughatlimesIlostmytemper.Irealizedtheiraffectionforme;butprivatelyIregardedthemaslackinginambition,inforce,inthefightingqualitiesnecessaryforachievementinthismodernage.
Perhaps,unconsciously,Ipitiedthemalittle.
\"HowisJudahB.to-day,Hughie?\"Tomwouldinquire.\"Ihearyou\'veputhimupfortheBoyneClub,nowthatMr.Watlinghasgothimoutofthatlibelsuit.\"
\"CarterIvesisdead,\"Perrywouldadd,sarcastically,\"letbygonesbebygones.\"
ItwaswellknownthatMr.Tallant,intheearlydaysofhisnewspaper,hadblackmailedMr.Ivesoutofsomehundredthousanddollars.Andthatthis,morethananyotheract,stoodintheway,withcertainrecalcitrantgentlemen,ofhishighestambition,membershipintheBoyne.
\"Thetroublewithyoufellowsisthatyourefusetodealwithconditionsasyoufindthem,\"Iretorted.\"Wedidn\'tmakethem,andwecan\'tchangethem.Tallant\'safactorinthebusinesslifeofthiscity,andhehastobecountedwith.\"
Tomwouldshakehisheadexasperatingly.
\"Whydon\'tyougetafterRalph?\"Idemanded.\"Hedoesn\'tantagonizeTallant,either.\"
\"Ralph\'shopeless,\"saidTom.\"Hewasbornapirate,youweren\'t,Hughie.Wethinkthere\'sachanceforhissalvation,don\'twe,Perry?\"
Irefusedtoaccepttheremarkasflattering.
AnotherobjectoftheirassaultswasFrederickGrierson,whobythistimehademergedfromobscurityasasmalldealerinrealestateintoamanipulatorofblocksandcorners.
\"Isupposeyouthinkit\'salawyer\'sbusinesstodemandanethicalbillofhealthofeveryclient,\"Isaid.\"Iwon\'tstandupforallofTallant\'scareer,ofcourse,butMr.Wadinghasaclearrighttotakehiscases.AsforGrierson,itseemstomethat\'samatterofgivingadogabadname.Justbecausehispeopleweren\'tknownhere,andbecausehehasworkedupfromsmallbeginnings.Togetdowntohard-pan,youfellowsdon\'tbelieveindemocracy,——ingivingeverymanachancetoshowwhat\'sinhim.\"
\"Democracyisgood!\"exclaimedPerry.\"Ifthekindofthingwe\'recomingtoisdemocracy,Godsavethestate!\"
OntheotherhandIfoundmyselfdrawingclosertoRalphHambleton,sometimespresentatthesedebates,astheonlyoneofmyboyhoodfriendswhoseemedtobeableto\"dealwithconditionsashefoundthem.\"
Indeed,hegaveonetheimpressionthat,ifhehadhadthemakingofthem,hewouldnothavechangedthem.
\"Whatthedeucedoyouexpect?\"Ionceheardhiminquirewithgood-
naturedcontempt.\"Businessisn\'tcharity,it\'swar.
\"Therearecertainthings,\"maintainedPerry,stoutly,\"thatgentlemenwon\'tdo.\"
\"Gentlemen!\"exclaimedRalph,stretchinghisslimsixfeettwo:WeweresittingintheBoyneClub.\"It\'sungentlemanlytokill,orburnatownorsinkaship,butwekeeparmiesandnaviesforthepurpose.Foramanwithagoodmind,Perry,youshowasurprisinginabilitytothinkthings,outtoalogicalconclusion.Whatthedeuceiscompetition,whenyoucomedowntoit?Christianity?Notbyalongshot!Ifournationsareslaughteringmenandstarvingpopulationsinothercountries,——arecarriedon,infact,forthesakeofbusiness,ifourchurchesarefilledwithbusinessmenandourskypilotsprayforthegovernment,youcan\'texpectheathenindividualslikemetodobusinessonaChristianbasis,——
ifthereissuchathing.Youcanmakerulesforcroquet,butnotforagamethatisbasedonthenaturallawofthesurvivalofthefittest.
Thedarnedfoolsinthelegislaturestryitoccasionally,butweallknowit\'sasoptothe`commonpeople.\'AskHughiehereifthereeverwasalawputonthestatutebooksthathisfriendWatlingcouldn\'tget\'round\'?Why,you\'vegotcompetitionevenamongthechurches.Yours,whereIbelieveyouteachintheSundayschool,wouldgobankruptifitproclaimedrealChristianity.Andyou\'llgobankruptifyoupractiseit,Perry,myboy.Someearly,wide-awake,competitive,red-bloodedbirdwillrelieveyouoftheBoyneStreetcarline.\"
Itwasoneofthissamenewand\"fittest\"specieswhohadalreadyrelievedpoorMr.McAleryWillettofhisfortune.Mr.Willettwasatrustingsoulwhohadneverknownhowtotakecareofhimselforhismoney,peoplesaid,andnowthathehadlostittheyblamedhim.SomehadbeensavedenoughforhimandNancytoliveonintheoldhouse,withcarefuleconomy.ItwasNancywhomanagedtheeconomy,whoaccomplishedremarkablethingswithasumtheywouldhavedeemedpovertyinformerdays.HermotherhaddiedwhileIwasatCambridge.ReversesdidnotsubdueMr.Willett\'sspirits,andthefascinationmodern\"business\"hadforhimseemedtogrowinproportiontothemisfortunesithadcausedhim.HemovedintoatinyofficeintheDurrettBuilding,whereheappearedeverymorningabouthalf-pasttentooccupyhimselfwithheavenknowswhatshortcutstowealth,withprospectusesofcompaniesinMexicoorCentralAmericaorsomeotherdistantplace:once,Iremember,itwasatea,companyinwhichhetriedtointeresthisfriends,toraiseintheSouthaproducthemaintainedwouldsurpassOrangePekoe.IntheafternoonbetweenthreeandfourhewouldturnupattheBoyneClub,aswellgroomed,asspruceasever,generallywithaflowerinhisbuttonhole.Heneverforgotthathewasagentleman,andhehadagentleman\'snotionsofthefitnessofthings,anditwasagainsthisprinciplestouse,agentleman\'sclubforthefurtheranceofhisvariousenterprises.
\"Dropintomyofficesomeday,Dickinson,\"hewouldsay.\"IthinkI\'vegotsomethingtherethatmightinterestyou!\"
Heremindedme,whenImethim,thathehadalwayspredictedIwouldgetalonginlife
TheportraitofNancyatthisperiodisnotsoeasilydrawn.Thedeclineofthefamilyfortunesseemedtohavehadaslittleeffectuponherasuponherfather,althoughtheircharactersdifferedsharply.Somethingofthatspontaneity,ofthatloveoflifeandjoyinitshehadpossessedinyouthshemusthaveinheritedfromMcAleryWillett,butthesequalitieshaddisappearedinherlongbeforethecomingoffinancialreverses.Shewasnearingthirty,andinspiteofherbeautyandtherarerdistinctionthatcanbestbedescribedasbreeding,shehadnevermarried.Menadmiredher,butfromadistance;shekeptthematarm\'slength,theysaid:strangerswhovisitedthecityinvariablypickedheroutofanassemblyandaskedwhoshewas;onemanfromNewYorkwhocametovisitRalphandwhohadbeenmadlyinlovewithher,shehadamazedmanypeoplebyrefusing,spurningallhemighthavegivenher.Thisincidentseemedarefutationofthechargethatshewascalculating.Asmighthavebeenforetold,shehadthesocialgiftinaremarkabledegree,andinspiteofthelimitationsofherpursetheknackofdressingbetterthanotherwomen,thoughatthattimetheorganizationofoursociallifestillremainedcomparativelysimple,thecustomofluxuriousandexpensiveentertainmentnothavingyetsetin.
ThemoreIreflectuponthosedays,themoresurprisingdoesitseemthatIwasnotinlovewithher.ItmaybethatIwas,unconsciously,forshetroubledmythoughtsoccasionally,andsherepresentedallthequalitiesIadmiredinhersex.Thesituationthathadexistedatthetimeofourfirstandonlyquarrelhadbeenreversed,IwasonthehighroadtotheworldlysuccessIhadthenresolvedupon,Nancywaspoor,andforthatreason,perhaps,prouderthanever.Ifshewasinaccessibletoothers,shehadtheairofbeingpeculiarlyinaccessibletome——themoresobecausesomeofthesuperficialrelicsofourintimacyremained,orratherhadbeenrestored.Herverymannerofcamaraderieseemedparadoxicallytoincreasethedistancebetweenus.Itpiquedme.Hadshegivenmetheleastencouragement,IamsureIshouldhaveresponded;
andIrememberthatIusedoccasionallytospeculateastowhethershestillcaredforme,andtookthismethodofhidingherrealfeelings.
