differentfromtherest;inshort,sheemphasizedandintensifiedwhatI
maycalltheWeathersfieldenvironment,stirredupinmenewandvagueaspirationsthattroubledyetexcitedme.
ThentherewasMrs.Kyme,apretty,light-heartedlady,stillyoung,whoseemedtohavenointentionofgrowingolder,whorompedandplayedsongsforusonthepiano.ThedaughterofanoldbutnowimpecuniousWestchesterfamily,shehadbeenborntoadornthepositionsheheld,shewasadaptedbynaturetowringfromittheutmostofthejoysitoffered.
Fromher,ratherthanfromherhusband,bothofthechildrenseemedtohaveinherited.IusedtowatchMr.GrosvenorKymeashesatattheendofthedinner-table,dark,preoccupied,taciturn,symbolicalofawealthnewtomyexperience,andwhichhadaboutitacertainfabulousquality.
Ittoilednot,neitherdiditspin,butgrewasifbymagic,dayandnight,untiltheveryconceptionofitwasoverpowering.WhatmustitbetohavehadancestorswhohadbeencleverenoughtositstilluntilacongestedanddiscontentedEuropehadbeguntopouritsthousandsandhundredsofthousandsintothegatewayofthewesternworld,untilthatgatewayhadbecomeametropolis?ancestors,ofcourse,possessingwhatnowsuddenlyappearedtomeasthemostdesirableofgifts——sinceitreapedsodazzlingaharvest-businessforesight.Fromtimetotimetheseancestorshadcontinuedtobuydesirablecorners,whichnoamountofpersuasionhadavailedtomakethemrelinquish.Leasethem,yes;sellthem,never!Byvirtueofsuchasystemwealthwasasinevitableashumannecessity;andthethoughtofhumannecessitydidnotgreatlybotherme.Mr.Kyme\'sproblemoflifewasnotoneofmakingmoney,butofinvestingit.Onebecameautomaticallyapersonage
Itwasduetooneofthosesingularcoincidences——sointerestingasubjectforspeculation——thatthemanwhorevealedtomethisgoldenromanceoftheKymefamilywasnoneotherthanaresidentofmyowncity,Mr.TheodoreWatling,nowbecomeoneofourmostimportantandinfluentialcitizens;acorporationlawyer,newandstimulatingqualification,suggestingasitdid,adeusexmachinaofgreataffairs.
Thathe,ofallmen,shouldcometoWeathersfieldastonishedme,sinceI
wasasyettomaketheconnectionbetweenthatfinished,decorous,secludedexistenceandthesourceofitsbeing.Theeveningbeforemydeparturehearrivedincompanywithtwoothergentlemen,aMr.TalbotandaMr.Saxes,whosenameswerespokenwithrespectinasphereofwhichIhadhithertotakenbutlittlecognizance-WallStreet.Conybearinformedmethattheywere\"magnates,\"Weweresittinginthedrawing-roomattea,whentheyenteredwithMr.Watling,andnosoonerhadhespokentoMrs.Kymethanhisquickeyesingledmeoutofthegroup.
\"Why,Hugh!\"heexclaimed,takingmyhand.\"IhadnoideaIshouldmeetyouhere——Isawyourfatheronlylastweek,thedayIlefthome.\"Andheadded,turningtoMrs.Kyme,\"HughisthesonofMr.MatthewParet,whohasbeentheleaderofourbarformanyyears.\"
TherecognitionandthetributetomyfatherweresograciouslygiventhatIwarmedwithgratitudeandpride,whileMr.Kymesmiledalittle,remarkingthatIwasafriendofJerry\'s.TheodoreWatling,forbeinghere,hadsuddenlyassumedinmyeyesaconsiderableconsequence,thoughthenotehestruckinthathousewasastrangeone.Itwas,however,hisownnote,andhadacertaindistinction,aringofindependence,oftheknowledgeofself-worth.DinneratWeathersfieldweyoungstershadusuallyfoundratheranoppressiveceremony,withitsshadedlightsandpreciseritualoverwhichMr.Kymepresidedlikeahighpriest;
conversationhadbeenrestrained.Thatnight,asJohnnieLaurensafterwardsexpressedit,\"thingsloosenedup,\"andMr.Watlingwasresponsiblefortheloosening.TakingcommandoftheKymedinnertableappearedtometobenomeanachievement,butthisisjustwhathedid,withoutbeingvulgarornoisyorassertive.Suavitarinmodo,forbiterinre.If,asIwatchedhimtherewithanewbornprideandloyalty,I
hadpausedtoreconstructtheideathatthementionofhisnamewouldformerlyhaveevoked,IsupposeIshouldhavefoundhimfallingshortofmynotionofagentleman;ithadbeenmyfather\'sopinion;butMr.
Watling\'smarriagetoGeneHollister\'saunthadgivenhimastandingwithusathome.Hepossessedvirility,vitalityinaremarkabledegree,yetsomeelusivequalitythatwasneithertactnordelicacy——thoughrelatedtothesedifferentiatedhimfromthecommonplace,self-mademanofability.Hewasjustoffthetype.Tolikenhimtoaclothingstoremodelofawell-built,broad-shoulderedmanwithafirmneck,ahandsome,rathersquarefacenotlackingincolourandaconventional,droopingmoustachewouldbeslanderous;yethedidsuggestit.Suggestingit,heredeemedit:andthemiddlewesternburrinhisvoicewasratherattractivethanotherwise.Hehadnotsomuchtheairofbelongingthere,asofbelonginganywhere——oneofthoseanomalisticAmericancitizensoftheworldwhogoabroadandmakeintimatesofprinces.
Beforethemealwasoverhehadinspiredmewithloyaltyandpride,enlistedtheadmirationofJerryandConybearandJohnnieLaurens;wefollowedhimintothesmoking-room,sittingdowninarowonaleatherloungebehindourelders.
Here,nowthatthegentlemenwerealone,therewasaninspiringlargenessintheirtalkthatfiredtheimagination.Thesubjectwasinvestments,atfirstthoseofcoalandironinmyownstate,forMr.Watling,itappeared,wascounselfortheBoyneIronWorks.
\"Itwillpayyoutokeepaneyeonthatcompany,Mr.Kyme,\"hesaid,knockingtheashesfromhiscigar.\"NowthatoldMr.Durrett\'sgone——\"
\"Youdon\'tmeantosayNathanielDurrett\'sdead!\"saidMr.Kyme.
Thelawyernodded.
\"Theoldregimepassedwithhim.AdolfScherersucceedshim,andyoumaytakemywordforit,he\'sacomingman.Mr.Durrett,whowasajudgeofmen,recognizedthat.Schererwasanemigrant,hehadideas,androsetobeaforeman.ForthelastfewyearsMr.Durrettthreweverythingonhisshoulders\"
Littlebylittlethescopeofthediscussionwasenlargeduntilitrangedoveracontinent,touchinglightlyuponlinesofrailroad,builtorprojected,acrossthegreatwestourpioneershadsolatelysucceededinwrestingfromthesavages,uponminesofcopperandgoldhiddenawayamongthemountains,andmillionsofacresofforestandgrazinglandswhichacomplacentgovernmentwouldrelinquishprovidedcertaintechnicalitiesweremet:touchinglightly,too,verylightly,——uponsenatorsandcongressmenatWashington.AndforthefirsttimeIlearnedthatnottheleastofthefunctionsoftheserepresentativesofthepeoplewastoactasthemediumbetweencapitalandinvestment,tofacilitatethehandingoveroftheRepublic\'sresourcestothoseinapositiontodevelopthem.Theemphasiswaslaidondevelopment,orratherontheresultingprosperityforthecountry:thatwasthejustification,anditwastakenforgrantedassupreme.Norwasitnewtome;thiscultofprosperity.Irecalledthetorch-lightprocessionsofthetariffenthusiastsofmychildhooddays,myfather\'schampionshipoftheRepublicanParty.Hehadnotidealizedpoliticians,either.FortheAmerican,politicsandethicswerestrangers.
ThusIlistenedwithincreasingfascinationtothesegentlemenineveningclothescalmlytreatingtheUnitedStatesasamelonpatchthatexistedlargelyforthepurposeofbeingdividedupamongstalimitedandfavorednumberofpersons.Ihadafeelingofbeingamongtheinitiated.Where,itmaybeasked,weremyideals?LetitnotbesupposedthatIbelievedmyselftohavelostthem.Ifso,theimpressionIhavegivenofmyselfhasbeenwhollyinadequate.No,theyhadbeentransmuted,thatisall,transmutedbythealchemyofWeathersfield,bythepersonalityofTheodoreWatlingintobrightervisions.Myeyesrarelylefthisface;I
hungonhistalk,whichwasinterspersedwithnativehumour,thoughhedidnotalwaysjoininthelaughter,sometimesgazingatthefire,asthoughhiskeenmindweregrapplingwithaproblemsuggested.Inotedtherespectinwhichhisopinionswereheld,andmyimaginationwasfiredbyanimpressionofthepowertobeachievedbysuccessfulmenofhisprofession,bytheevidenceoftheirindispensabilitytocapitalitselfAtlastwhenthegentlemenroseandwereleavingtheroom,Mr.Watlinglingered,withhishandonmyarm.
\"Ofcourseyou\'regoingthroughtheLawSchool,Hugh,\"hesaid.
\"Yes,sir,\"Ireplied.
\"Good!\"heexclaimedemphatically.\"Thelaw,to-day,ismoreofacareerthanever,especiallyforayoungmanwithyourantecedentsandadvantages,andIknowofnocityintheUnitedStateswhereIwouldratherstartpractice,ifIwereayoungman,thanours.Inthenexttwentyyearsweshallseeatremendousgrowth.Ofcourseyou\'llbegoingintoyourfather\'soffice.Youcouldn\'tdobetter.ButI\'llkeepaneyeonyou,andperhapsI\'llbeabletohelpyoualittle,too.\"
Ithankedhimgratefully.
Afamousartist,whostartedoutinyouthtoembraceamilitarycareerandwhofailedtopassanexaminationatWestPoint,issaidtohaveremarkedthatifsiliconhadbeenagashewouldhavebeenasoldier.I
amafraidImayhavegiventheimpressionthatifIhadnotgonetoWeathersfieldandencounteredMr.WatlingImightnothavebeenalawyer.
Thisimpressionwouldbemisleading.AndwhileitiscertainthatIhavenotexaggeratedtheintensityofthespiritualexperienceIwentthroughatCambridge,asomewhatbelatedconsiderationforthetruthcompelsmetoregistermybeliefthatthemoodwouldinanycasehavebeenephemeral.Thepoisongeneratedbythestruggleofmynaturewithitsenvironmenthadsunktoodeep,andtheveryeducationthatwassupposedtomakeapracticalmanofmehadturnedmeintoasentimentalist.I
became,aswillbeseen,anythingbutapracticalmaninthetruesense,thoughtheworldinwhichIhadbeenbroughtupandcontinuedtolivedeemedmesuch.MyfatherwasgreatlypleasedwhenIwrotehimthatI
wasnowmorethaneverconvincedofthewisdomofchoosingthelawasmyprofession,andwassatisfiedthatIhadcometomysensesatlast.Hehadstillbeenpreparedtoseeme\"gooffatatangent,\"asheexpressedit.Ontheotherhand,thepowerfuleffectoftheappealmadebyWeathersfieldandMr.Watlingmustnotbeunderestimated.Hereinoneobjectlessonwasemphasizedahostofsuggestionseachofwhichhadmadeitsimpression.AndwhenIreturnedtoCambridgeAlonzoCheyneknewthathehadlostme
Ipassovertherestofmycollegecourse,andtheyearsIspentattheHarvardLawSchool,wherewereinstilledintomewithoutdifficultythedictumsthatthelawwasthemostimportantofallprofessions,thatthosewhoentereditwereapriestlyclasssetasidetoguardfromprofanationthatArkoftheCovenant,theConstitutionoftheUnitedStates.Inshort,IwastaughtlawpreciselyasIhadbeentaughtreligion,——scripturalinfallibilityoveragain,——astaticlawandastatictheology,——asetofconceptsthatweresupposedtobeequaltoanyproblemscivilizationwouldhavetomeetuntilthemillennium.Whatwearewonttocallwisdomisoftennaivelyinnocentofimpendingchange.
Ithasnobarometricproperties.
Ishallcontentmyselfwithrelatingoneincidentonlyofthisperiod.
IntheJanuaryofmylastyearIwentwithapartyofyoungmenandgirlstostayoverSundayatBeverlyFarms,whereMrs.Fremantle——ayoungBostonmatronhadopenedhercottagefortheoccasion.This\"cottage,\"aroomy,gabledstructure,stoodonacliff,atthefootofwhichroaredthewintryAtlantic,whilewedancedandpoppedcornbeforetheopenfires.Duringthedaylighthourswedroveaboutthecountryinsleighs,ormaderidiculousattemptstowalkonsnow-shoes.
OnSundayafternoon,lefttemporarilytomyowndevices,Iwanderedalongthecliff,crossingintotheadjoiningproperty.Thewindhadfallen;
thewaves,muchsubdued,brokerhythmicallyagainsttherocks;duringthenightanewmantleofsnowhadbeenspread,andthecloudswerestilllowandmenacing.AsIstrolledIbecameawareofamotionlessfigureaheadofme,——onethatseemedoddlyfamiliar;thesetoftheshabbyovercoatonthestoopingshoulders,theunconsciousposecontributedtoacertainsharpnessofindividuality;intheactofchallengingmymemory,I
halted.Themanwasgazingattheseascape,andhisveryabsorptiongavemeasuddenandunfamiliarthrill.Thewordabsorptionpreciselyexpressesmymeaning,forheseemedindeedtohavebecomeapartofhissurroundings,——anharmoniouspart.Presentlyheswungaboutandlookedatmeasthoughhehadexpectedtofindmethere——andgreetedmebyname.
\"Krebs!\"Iexclaimed.
Hesmiled,andflungouthisarm,indicatingthescene.Hiseyesatthatmomentseemedtoreflectthesea,——theymadethegauntfacesuddenlybeautiful.
\"ThisremindsmeofaJapaneseprint,\"hesaid.
Thewords,orthetoneinwhichhespoke,curiouslytransformedthepicture.ItwasasifInowbeheldit,anew,throughhisvision:thegreywaterstretchingeastwardtomeltintothegreysky,themassed,blacktreesonthehillside,powderedwithwhite,thesnowinrounded,fantasticpatchesonthehugebouldersatthefootofthecliff.Krebsdidnotseemlikeastranger,butlikeonewhomIhadknownalways,——onewhostoodinapeculiarrelationshipbetweenmeandsomethinggreaterI
couldnotdefine.Theimpressionwasfleeting,butrealIrememberwonderinghowhecouldhaveknownanythingaboutJapaneseprints.
\"Ididn\'tthinkyouwerestillinthispartofthecountry,\"Iremarkedawkwardly.
\"I\'mareporteronaBostonnewspaper,andI\'vebeensentupheretointerviewoldMr.Dome,wholivesinthathouse,\"andhepointedtoaroofabovethetrees.\"Thereisarumour,whichIhopetoverify,thathehasjustgivenahundredthousanddollarstotheUniversity.\"
\"And——won\'theseeyou?\"
\"Atpresenthe\'stakinganap,\"saidKrebs.\"Hecomeshereoccasionallyforarest.\"
\"Doyoulikeinterviewing?\"Iasked.
Hesmiledagain.
\"Well,Iseeagoodmanydifferentkindsofpeople,andthat\'sinteresting.\"
\"But——beingareporter?\"Ipersisted.
Thiscontinuedpatronagewasnotaconsciousexpressionofsuperiorityonmypart,buthedidnotseemtoresentit.Hehadarousedmycuriosity.
\"I\'mgoingintothelaw,\"hesaid.
Thequietconfidencewithwhichhespokearoused,suddenly,atwingeofantagonism.Hehadeveryrighttogointothelaw,ofcourse,andyet!myquerywouldhavemadeitevidenttome,hadIbeenintrospectiveinthosedays,thatthegermoftheidealoftheprofession,implantedbyMr.Watling,wasexpanding.Werenotinfluentialfriendsnecessaryfortheproperkindofcareer?andwherewereKrebs\'s?InspiteofthehistoryofDanielWebsterandalonglineofAmericantradition,Ifeltanincongruityinmyclassmate\'saspiration.Andashestoodthere,gauntandundoubtedlyhungry,hiseyeskindling,Imustvaguelyhaveclassedhimwiththerevolutionariesofalltheages;musthavefeltinhim,instinctively,amenacetothestabilityofthatOrderwithwhichIhadthrownmyfortunes.AndyettherewerecomparativelypoormenintheLawSchoolitselfwhohadnotmademefeelthisway!Hehadimpressedmeagainstmywill,takenmebysurprise,commiserationhadbeenmingledwithotherfeelingsthatsprangoutofthememoryofthenightIhadcalledonhim,whenhehadbeensick.NowIresentedsomethinginhimwhichTomPetershadcalled\"crust.\"
\"Thelaw!\"Irepeated.\"Why?\"
\"Well,\"hesaid,\"evenwhenIwasaboy,workingatoddjobs,IusedtothinkifIcouldeverbealawyerIshouldhavereachedthetopnotchofhumandignity.\"
Oncemorehissmiledisarmedme.
\"Andnow\"Iaskedcuriously.
\"Yousee,itwasanidealwithme,Isuppose.Myfatherwasresponsibleforthat.HehadtheGermantemperamentof\'48,andwhenhefledtothiscountry,heexpectedtofindUtopia.\"Thesmileemergedagain,likethesunshiningthroughclouds,whilefascinationandantagonismagainstruggledwithinme.\"Andthencamefrightfultroubles.Foryearshecouldgetonlyenoughworktokeephimandmymotheralive,butheneverlosthisfaithinAmerica.`Itisman,\'hewouldsay,`manhastogrowuptoit——toliberty.\'Withoutthestruggle,libertywouldbeworthnothing.Andheusedtotellmethatwemustalldoourpart,wewhohadcomehere,andnotexpecteverythingtobedoneforus.Hehadmadethatmistake.Ifthingswerebad,why,putashouldertothewheelandhelptomakethembetter.
\"Thathelpedme,\"hecontinued,afteramoment\'spause.\"ForI\'veseenagoodmanythings,especiallysinceI\'vebeenworkingforanewspaper.
I\'veseen,againandagain,thepowerofthelawturnedagainstthosewhomitwasintendedtoprotect,I\'veseenlawyerswhocareagreatdealmoreaboutwinningcasesthantheydoaboutjustice,whoprostitutetheirprofessiontoprofitmaking,——profitmakingforthemselvesandothers.
Andtheyareoftentherespectablelawyers,too,menofhighstanding,whomyouwouldnotthinkwoulddosuchthings.Theyareonthesideofthepowerful,andthebestofthemareallretainedbyrichmenandcorporations.Andwhatistheresult?Oneoftheworstevils,Ithink,thatcanbefallacountry.Thepoormangoeslessandlesstothecourts.Heisgettingbitter,whichisbad,whichisdangerous.Butmenwon\'tseeit.\"
Itwasonmytonguetorefutethis,tosaythateverybodyhadachance.
Icouldindeedrecallmanyargumentsthathadbeendrilledintome;
quotations,even,fromcourtdecisions.Butsomethingpreventedmefromdoingthis,——somethinginhismanner,whichwasneitherargumentativenorcombative.
\"That\'swhyIamgoingintothelaw,\"headded.\"AndIintendtostayinitifIcankeepalive.It\'sagreatchanceforme——forallofus.
Aren\'tyouattheLawSchool?\"
Inodded.Oncemore,ashisearnestglancefelluponme,camethatsuggestionofasubtle,inexplicablelinkbetweenus;butbeforeIcouldreply,stepswereheardbehindus,andanelderlyservant,bareheaded,wasseencomingdownthepath.
\"Areyouthereporter?\"hedemandedsomewhatimpatientlyofKrebs.\"IfyouwanttoseeMr.Dome,you\'dbettercomerightaway.He\'sgoingoutforadrive.\"
Forawhile,afterhehadshakenmyhandanddeparted,Istoodinthesnow,lookingafterhim
VIII
OntheWednesdayofthatsameweekthenewsofmyfather\'ssuddenandseriousillnesscametomeinatelegram,andbythetimeIarrivedathomeitwastoolatetoseehimagainalive.Itwasmyfirstexperiencewithdeath,andwhatperplexedmecontinuallyduringthefollowingdayswasaninabilitytofeelthelossmoredeeply.Whenachild,Ihadbeeneasilyshakenbythespectacleofsorrow.HadI,duringrecentyears,asaresultofadiscoverythatemotionsarisingfromhumanrelationshipsleadtodiscomfortandsuffering,deliberatelybeenformingashell,untilnowIwasincapableofnaturalfeelings?OflateIhadseemedclosertomyfather,andhisletters,thoughformal,hadgivenevidenceofhisaffection;inhisrepressedfashionhehadmadeitclearthathelookedforwardtothetimewhenIwastopractisewithhim.Whywasitthen,asIgazeduponhisfinefeaturesindeath,thatIexperiencednointensityofsorrow?Whatwasitinmethatwouldnotbreakdown?Heseemedwornandtired,yetIhadneverthoughtofhimasweary,neverattributedtohimanyyearning.Andnowhewasreleased.
Iwonderedwhathadbeenhisprivatethoughtsabouthimself,hisprivateopinionsaboutlife;andwhenIreflectnowuponmylackofrealknowledgeatfiveandtwenty,Iamamazedatthefutilityofanexpensiveeducationwhichhadfailedtoimpressuponmethesimple,basicfactthatlifewasstruggle;thateitherdevelopmentorretrogressionisthefateofallmen,thatcharactersarenevercompletelymade,butalwaysinthemaking.Ihadmerelyadisconcertingglimpseofthistruth,withnopowersofformulation,asIsatbesidemymotherinthebedroom,whereeveryarticleevokedsomechildhoodscene.Herewasthedentinthewalnutfoot-boardofthebedmade,onewintryday,bytheimpactofmyboxofblocks;thebigarm-chair,coveredwithIknownotwhatstiffembroidery,whichhadservedoncountlessoccasionsasachariotdriventovictory.IevenrememberedhoweveryWednesdaymorningIhadbeenbanishedfromtheroom,whichhadbeensolargeapartofmychildhooduniverse,whenElla,thehousemaid,hadflungopenallitswindowsandcrowdeditsfurnitureintothehall.
Thethoughtofmywanderingssincethenbecamepoignant,almostterrifying.Theroom,withallitsmemories,wasunchanged.HowsafeI
